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Woulld you expect ex partner to have a school uniform?

Claire212
Claire212 Posts: 97 Forumite
edited 26 September 2013 at 11:52AM in Marriage, relationships & families
Despite trying to arrange an alternative my son is still having to spend a night at his Dads where he has to attend school the next day.

My son is coming home after school, changing and then catching the bus to his Grandparents where his Dad will pick him up later. Taking his school bag with him.

His Dad has told him that he needs to bring his uniform with him so that he can change into it.

I have told him that he should realy make arrangements to buy his own. He is furious. Claiming that as he pays maintenance, £96 a month, he should come already provided with one.

He has stayed the night before (Thurday) but we are changing it to a Sunday, so he has gone straight from school already in his uniform before and obviously will again if his Dad really insists he will not buy him one.

I just think if they say they want to have them overnight on a school night then they should provide them with a uniform clean and ready to go. Which we will return to him on the Thursday when he goes round for tea and we pick him up.

Is it unreasonable (as he says) to even ask?

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Comments

  • aliasojo
    aliasojo Posts: 23,053 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I'm afraid I don't agree he needs to have uniform in both places.

    I don't see an issue with him taking it to Dad's.
    Herman - MP for all! :)
  • HappyMJ
    HappyMJ Posts: 21,115 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Claire212 wrote: »
    Despite trying to arrange an alternative my son is still having to spend a night at his Dads where he has to attend school the next day.

    My son is coming home after school, changing and then catching the bus to his Grandparents where his Dad will pick him up later. Taking his school bag with him.

    His Dad has told him that he needs to bring his uniform with him so that he can change into it.

    I have told him that he should realy make arrangements to buy his own. He is furious. Claiming that as he pays maintenance, £96 a month, he should come already provided with one.

    He has stayed the night before (Thurday) but we are changing it to a Sunday, so he has gone straight from school already in his uniform before and obviously will again if his Dad really insists he will not buy him one.

    I just think if they say they want to have them overnight on a school night then they should provide them with a uniform clean and ready to go. Which we will return to him on the Thursday when he goes round for tea and we pick him up.

    Is it unreasonable (as he says) to even ask?
    He doesn't have to buy one. He's paying child support in the expectation that the money is used to buy a school uniform.

    It is not unreasonable to ask for more money to buy one though.

    My personal opinion is he should at least be trying to pay at least £130 a month (a full time worker on minimum wage should afford this) so he's on a very low income for some reason if he's only paying £96 a month. He probably has nothing left to be able to buy anything such as a school uniform.
    :footie:
    :p Regular savers earn 6% interest (HSBC, First Direct, M&S) :p Loans cost 2.9% per year (Nationwide) = FREE money. :p
  • marisco_2
    marisco_2 Posts: 4,261 Forumite
    Is it just me who for a split second having read the title of this thread, thought it was going to be about someone getting caught out dating someone under age :o

    Back to the topic, no I wouldn't expect an ex to provide uniform for a child staying overnight with them. Surely there are spare shirts, jumpers, trousers etc that could just be put in a bag, and taken over to the dads place by your son so he has fresh uniform to wear.
    The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own, no apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.
  • Honestly, I think you are the one who is being unreasonable and really rather petty.

    Your child has a uniform and doesn't need one in each home. How much are you or your child suffering by packing a few extra clothes once a week?

    I think you need to get a ruddy grip
  • poet123
    poet123 Posts: 24,099 Forumite
    marisco wrote: »
    Is it just me who for a split second having read the title of this thread, thought it was going to be about someone getting caught out dating someone under age :o

    Back to the topic, no I wouldn't expect an ex to provide uniform for a child staying overnight with them. Surely there are spare shirts, jumpers, trousers etc that could just be put in a bag, and taken over to the dads place by your son so he has fresh uniform to wear.

    I thought they had been caught dressing up!!:o
  • poet123
    poet123 Posts: 24,099 Forumite
    To be serious though, I think you are making problems for the sake of it.
  • aliasojo
    aliasojo Posts: 23,053 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    poet123 wrote: »
    I thought they had been caught dressing up!!:o

    Ditto.....:D
    Herman - MP for all! :)
  • Blimey! There's a child in this relationship and I don't think it's the one going to school.

    If you want to have a decent row with your ex why not try and pick something worth fighting over? This isn't it
  • ValHaller
    ValHaller Posts: 5,212 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    The word I am looking for is neurotic.

    Presumably he has enough uniform to see him through the school week. So the problem is solely about getting the uniform to the right place at the right time. No need for more stuff.
    You might as well ask the Wizard of Oz to give you a big number as pay a Credit Referencing Agency for a so-called 'credit-score'
  • If he is going on a Sunday I don't see a problem with him taking a uniform to use on Monday from home.
    Have a Bsc Hons open degree from the Open University 2015 :j:D:eek::T
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