Really angry at myself - please help

lushlifesaver

top_drawer I am very sorry that this has happened but you do seem to be reacting in an extremely heightened manner.

Yes it was an unfortunate mistake and one you can't afford however, as other have noted, it was a mistake on your part.

The store will not show you the CCTV for various reasons including those already outlined. And, yes, your post regarding 'making them pay' is likely to be taken in a threatening manner - including the police were they to look at it in insolation.

To be fair to the store they are being helpful above and beyond the capability of many establishments by keeping the CCTV footage available until the return of the staff member able to extract it to DVD for the use of the investigation. Many places now have a policy of only keeping 'clean' footage for a set period before recording over it/wiping it off the system depending on which methods they use - memory isn't cheap!

I understand you have faced many problems recently, and like buses problems often come in multiples but perhaps it is time to look for some other help? Other's have suggest CBT which I don't feel would be an out of place suggestion.

As for the issue with the landlord; if you had a rental contract you are obliged to pay as that is what you have agreed to whether or not staying in the property unless you give notice and move out (or forfeit the notice and take any consequences) as that is what you have signed a contract for. As they are legally binding you were right to be pursued for the rent - alternatively I suppose other arrangements could have been made with the landlord had they been a helpful one but by the sounds of it you don't see eye- to- eye with them.

Please do not take your anger out on the store or the police investigation, or any individuals involved. Look for an alternative outlet which may be more positive. Your creative writing group sounds ideal and is probably exactly what you need. Use it as a channel for your emotions and please, please talk to someone.

Don't be afraid to ask for any help you need; from whichever source that may be from

Person_one

paulineb wrote: »

I think if people do read some of the OP's posting history, they might get an idea of how much they have had to cope with lately. It doesnt mean that people will change their mind about advice given, but sometimes a bit of background is helpful.

I've read, and posted on, quite a few of the OP's previous threads. I honestly truly think that they need to hear some blunt advice and opinions rather than a pat on the head and a confirmation of their sense that they are lovely and the rest of the world is not.

Often what we want to hear is nothing like what we need to hear.

paulineb_2

Person_one wrote: »

I've read, and posted on, quite a few of the OP's previous threads. I honestly truly think that they need to hear some blunt advice and opinions rather than a pat on the head and a confirmation of their sense that they are lovely and the rest of the world is not.

Often what we want to hear is nothing like what we need to hear.

I think theyve had plenty of decent advice spanning several threads

However, I dont think when its clear someone is already upset that comments like it was your own fault deal with it help

Im sure the OP already realises that they were at fault by leaving the money there

And if someone is suffering from anxiety or depression which the OP may be, I think treading carefully is better than a tough deal with it approach

Other people will disagree and thats up to them

SmallL

I think the OP should try and post when they are less emotional.
If it were me I would want to know/suggest design ideas to make the self service tills less prone to this type of human error.

For example some already have sound, so why not have them say 'Please take your cash' until the person has?

nom_de_plume

Recently an employee found a wallet in a car park. For various reasons he decided to keep the cash and destroy the remainder (not clever but he did have his own reasons). CCTV in a nearby store caught him picking it up and a few days later he was contacted by the police. He was persuaded to refund the unlucky loser or face charges. He chose the former.

Another poster up this page mentioned CCTV footage being erased after a certain period. Have you ascertained that the footage in your case is safe until the employee returns? I've only skim read this thread.

iammumtoone

I have been 'heavly pressured' into using different tills, and if I was in a different frame of mind I would see it as 'bulling' I like my shopping got go through a normal till, regardless if I have 10 items of a trolley full, it is easier and you get more time to pack. Countless times I have stood in a queue with only a basket and been told to use another till (self service or those horrible tiny basket tills where there is no room to pack items once they have been scanned). I explain no I'd rather stay, then get "it will be quicker" so have to explain I'd rather wait, they then go on to try to reason why you should use another till, you have to really fight to be able to stay in the queue of your choice.

OP I feel for you I have been there myself, I think deep down you know that Asd! is not the issue, it is the final thing that has now made everything just too much for you. Have you been to see your GP, talk to them, they will be able to help you. Good Luck I wish you well.

iammumtoone

SmallL wrote: »

I think the OP should try and post when they are less emotional.

This is not always easy, people need to talk, some people live alone they do have anyone they can talk to first to get their advise before posting on a forum.

fake_smile

top_drawer wrote: »

I'm on a bit a downward spiral and I've had a really bad run on luck and this is the latest incident.

Last Thursday I was in a massive rush to get home (sh!tty day) and popped to @sda got a fivers worth of groceries and some cash back. Got home and realised I had left my cash in the dispenser - absolutely distraught, complete horror as I really can't afford it. It was money for my bus fares for the next weeks worth of shifts and I had no other money to pay my bus to work so I had to borrow some just to get to work.

Phoned @SDA AT 6 am the following morning and they viewed the CCTV and said it appears that someone following me took the money from the dispensary and advised me to report it to the police if I wanted to have a chance at getting it back. Reported it the same afternoon.

Police have been in store and spoke to the Manager and she has reported back that there is only one person who is on holiday until the 25th who is able to burn the DVD off and until she has been able to get it, she can't further anything.

I've rung the store and after experienced the worlds worst customer service and the short story is that the Manager is adamant that there is nothing she can do but wait for this person's return. In one sentence she says only one person can do it, the next they tried but aren't trained ...

I'm convinced that waiting for another week could mean that I can guarantee to not get the money returned, albeit it was a small chance in the first place.

I want to complain like hell as I'm sure they must be able to make some arrangements with a nearby store or complete the actions over the phone with someone who does know. I'm even tempted to go on twatter and hope that it gets picked up and maybe they can resolve it afterall.

I'm sat here crying, I've really tried to be as logical and functional as possible this past few months when everything has been !!!!!! but the waves of !!!! are just never ending. I've had another awful day at work and I've got another to deal with tomorrow. I'm supposed to be going out tonight too.

I hate ASDA at the moment!

I'm sorry but there's only one person to blame here and that is you. I'm pretty sure that Asda will not accept any responsibility for this.

victory

Iagree with both person-one and paulineb both have very valid points but the poster has posted many threads with anxiety, social, friend clashes, 'missing the point', not being able to see that x y z was not directed personally and could have another way of looking at things...

THe poster has been helped a lot, suggested a lot, I have posted plenty of links, suggested maybe Aspergers, confidence courses, CBT, trying to point out that not every person out there has a hidden agenda, is not necessarily mean spirited and out to get the poster, over the course of time and threads one would hope because many people are going along the same lines the poster could maybe see a pattern of her behaviour and talk to a counsellor or her GP or a family friend and aim to change...

Life is about learning, make mistakes, learn, see things a bit askew try to get back on track, if people over and over say the same thing, look into it, seek help, there is a reason everyone says the same thing, one must learn and change, grow and become a better person, surely?

iammumtoone

victory wrote: »

Iagree with both person-one and paulineb both have very valid points but the poster has posted many threads with anxiety, social, friend clashes, 'missing the point', not being able to see that x y z was not directed personally and could have another way of looking at things...

THe poster has been helped a lot, suggested a lot, I have posted plenty of links, suggested maybe Aspergers, confidence courses, CBT, trying to point out that not every person out there has a hidden agenda, is not necessarily mean spirited and out to get the poster, over the course of time and threads one would hope because many people are going along the same lines the poster could maybe see a pattern of her behaviour and talk to a counsellor or her GP or a family friend and aim to change...

Life is about learning, make mistakes, learn, see things a bit askew try to get back on track, if people over and over say the same thing, look into it, seek help, there is a reason everyone says the same thing, one must learn and change, grow and become a better person, surely?

That is true but thrust me when you are in that situation you do not see it, there has to be a trigger point that is bad enough for you to seek help (and the issue with asda is probably not that point). I am not going to go into what my trigger point was but it was something worse than that. Believe me OP you do not want to get that that point so I do urge you to speak to you GP, and try to see that when more than one person gives that advise it might be something that is worth listening to.