Really angry at myself - please help

*Robin*

pollypenny wrote: »

I would write to Asda, not in a ranting way, but to express your disappointment in their lack of concern for a regular customer.

^^^ This:

Dear A$da Customer Services,

Last week I accidentally left £?0 cashback in a self-service till at your store in Xxxxxxxx. It was very busy and I felt pressured to get out of the way of the customer behind me.

Subsequently I have discovered that this man took my money with his own change.

Naturally I am very upset because it was cash I could not afford to lose - representing my bus fares and lunches for the week.

Apparently other people have had similar problems with A$da self-service tills, so would it be possible to alter the system, providing a solution?

Perhaps by adding a sensor in the slot for cashback, which would give an audible warning until the money has been taken?
Not permitting the machine to start another transaction while cashback is in the slot would also be useful, as would adding a reminder to collect cashback before the final "Thank you for shopping at A$da" screen.

All these measures would do much to maintain my confidence in A$da as a good place to shop, proving that the best customer care is important to your management.

I look forward to receiving your comments on my ideas.

Yours sincerely,
Top Drawer.


HTH Top Drawer, and have a dodgy :grouphug:

It's almost a rite of passage, losing cash through a daft mistake - something most of us have done - but only once, as you can see from many of the posts above (yup, me too, long ago ).

aliasojo

coolcait wrote: »

One post, one moment is a 'snapshot'.

Several posts, several moments may be a big 'snapshot'.

Several threads, with the same type of moment, become a pattern.

Multiple threads, with the same type of moment, suggest a problem.

I'm not disputing the OP may be experiencing problems. Since I don't know her I really have no way of knowing if she has problems or is a 'get it out of my system ranter'.

Either way, I refer you back to my earlier comment to Victory....

However you (and others) are venturing (unasked) into emotional/personal territory and since none of you are psychological experts or know the OP personally, then you should really consider whether it's your place to do so.

Person_one

I don't think anybody is claiming to be a 'psychological expert', are they? Some people are just suggesting that it might be a good idea for the OP to talk to someone who is, that's not overstepping the mark, I don't think.

aliasojo

Person_one wrote: »

I don't think anybody is claiming to be a 'psychological expert', are they? Some people are just suggesting that it might be a good idea for the OP to talk to someone who is, that's not overstepping the mark, I don't think.

No I don't believe anyone is actually claiming that P_O.....but a complete stranger who doesn't know the OP personally yet still feels it's appropriate to suggest they may have Asperger's is kinda coming close to it as they are acting like an armchair psychologist.

And I do actually think it is overstepping the mark tbh. It's not like the people on this thread are friends of the OP, we are nobodies in the whole scheme of things.

Different if the OP asked for help or advice on her 'self'. But she didn't.

Imo. And yes, I do realise no everyone will feel the same.

victory

aliasojo wrote: »

No I don't believe anyone is actually claiming that P_O.....but a complete stranger who doesn't know the OP personally yet still feels it's appropriate to suggest they may have Asperger's is kinda coming close to it as they are acting like an armchair psychologist.

And I do actually think it is overstepping the mark tbh. It's not like the people on this thread are friends of the OP, we are nobodies in the whole scheme of things.

Different if the OP asked for help or advice on her 'self'. But she didn't.

Imo. And yes, I do realise no everyone will feel the same.

Well I dont:D there has been over 100 posts on this thread and I'm being singled out?

If the posters thread are to be re read by no means was I the only person who suggested aspergers or seeking help.

A persons thread is only going to be what they want you to know, how they see it and if it's a rant probably emotional yes but coocait has a very valid point, this is just not one thread.

It's human nature to empathise, to cyber associate with the thread poster, to try to give advise through learnt experiences, to find solutions, to try to ease their pain, to try to make their life less painful.

Clearly asda is not the problem here, it is beyond frustrating what happened but asda is not the problem, it's how to deal with it and what life throws at you.

Clearly I am not or ever said I was a psychologist:D what I am is human, threads get posted for masses of reasons, sometimes people already think one way and will not change their mind and posters bemoan the waste f time, or because they just need help in finding a solution but go off and do their own thing, some threads are open to change and can see there is another way..... No one knows which was it will go, some are filled with anger and rage and posters are mean etc, masses of reasons and some post over and over the same thing.

aliasojo

victory wrote: »

Well I dont:D there has been over 100 posts on this thread and I'm being singled out?

If the posters thread are to be re read by no means was I the only person who suggested aspergers or seeking help.

Apologies if you feel that way Victory.

I did say '(and others)' when I responded to your post earlier and I used plural not singular in my comments so I would have thought you would have understood I wasn't in fact singling you out.

top_drawer_2

Paulineb / esmeralda - yep, this is just one more thing to a long list of sh!te that I have endured this past 12 months. I've had a lot of issues through my life anyway and I know I have very good problem solving / coping skills but sometimes it all does just get to being too much. I thought I was coming out of the other side, at last but apparently not...

Person_one - It was actually a lodger arrangement and throughout my time in that house she made it clear I was not welcome to stay at home as well as constantly inferring my stupidity and general disapproval of my clothes / make - up, was not allowed to put the heating on when she wasn't home (I work different hours/days), was not allowed to bring friends round, was not entitled to use the kitchen/lounge if she wanted too and so on. She kept an enormous amount of furniture / plants (+ the hover, which saw more use than generally considered "normal") meaning I had to store my stuff elsewhere as it just wouldn't all fit. I couldn't use my beloved bike as "there is no room inside or outside the house" despite having a yard. I fractured both my wrists and while I was away she "cleaned my room" , stripped my bed, "found" some special interest magazines (not !!!!!!, but a hobby she won't approve of) and made the point that she "knew" about them, sent my mail back to sender despite that I was still paying to live there and I missed an appointment (I would have had to rebook, but least I wouldn't have been recorded as a no-show) and then to top it all off, she chose the book that I was going to suggest for the book group we attend (how I knew her). All this only came about after moving into the property she seemed such a nice lady and she was quite clear, she had a lodger stay previously so she knew what was involved. Even if I had asked who would seriously admit that they want rent but don't want to know a lodger exists. I viewed numerous different properties and twice two separate moves fell through for different reasons.

The above experience has added to my doubt that I can make a correct decision on anything anymore. She did honestly seem such a nice middle aged type of person.

soleil lune - There is only so much a person can endure and I've reached capacity. I'm trying to keep several plates spinning and this was just another. I'm really not a wreck but I am sick of feeling uncomfortable at work, being treated unfairly by my parents / colleagues, just trying to do my best and always been found "wanting" in some way or another. I understand ASDA may have more important things to do, don't we all? This is very symptomatic of this particular town though and one of the reasons I dislike living here.

Brighton-Belle - They do point blank refuse to serve you! I've complained several times about it as I always end up waiting an age to get the "call an assistant" removed time and time again. I've tried saying I'm more comfortable with dealing with a sales assistant and they refuse to serve me and insisted on "tutoring" me through using the self-service machine using a twisty screen thing while she watched. This occasion was no different and this time as we were at a free standing self-service till one of the girls on the shop floor helped me to put my stuff through as x2 it malfunctioned saying "Unidentified object in the bagging area" and then wouldn't accept a price label. I feel that as a result of feeling forced to use this ridiculous system, I was rushing to get home struggling to bag things as I want them and this is the result...

I wish it was just a petty thing but unfortunately it just isn't at the moment, those who say its my fault therefore I should just accept it ... I think you have more money than sense. I wonder how many things sit in lost property for years because the person who lost it figures Oh well ... it was my own fault!

I will look into beginners NLP.

Alisonjo - yep, exactly but they are rather less than polite here.

aileth - yep, they tut / sigh and look at you like your "special" if you struggle and if you need age id they don't actually look at you if they can help it, flashing their badge at the sensor and walking off!

Please note I have many people around me who seem to feel that "blunt advice" is what is needed. Hence I haven't told anyone about what happened last Thursday as I am sick of being told "life's hard, get over it" "you always do these sort of things, you'll learn eventually" and "well you should have done x, y and z...." or best of all "Pull yourself together"

I think to be honest that these people don't believe they are helping problem at all but they want me to shut up and go away. I make a point of making sure I don't imply anything similar to clients (even if I do sometimes think they do need to just pull themselves together, stop welling in self-pity).

Last week a client chased me saying he wanted to touch me, and then named me as someone who he wanted to have sex with. Despite doing this job as long as I have it has rattled me and again I don't feel able to tell anyone. Communication is appalling where I work and so I mentioned I was concerned and as a result supervisor gave a big chat in front of others about how this type of thing was "part of the job" etc making me feel like a complete jobsworth. The friend I have told a little bit has said I should leave the job, walk away and become very dramatic about it all - completely missing the point (we are putting certain safeguards in place).

Thanks everyone for your input and I'm sorry that I don't post in others threads as often as people have / do in mine. I only post if I feel I have something to add to the discussion, in some way and usually I don't feel that I do.

victory

aliasojo wrote: »

Apologies if you feel that way Victory.

I did say '(and others)' when I responded to your post earlier and I used plural not singular in my comments so I would have thought you would have understood I wasn't in fact singling you out.

All good:Don't more to be said;):D

victory

top_drawer wrote: »

Paulineb / esmeralda - yep, this is just one more thing to a long list of sh!te that I have endured this past 12 months. I've had a lot of issues through my life anyway and I know I have very good problem solving / coping skills but sometimes it all does just get to being too much. I thought I was coming out of the other side, at last but apparently not...

Person_one - It was actually a lodger arrangement and throughout my time in that house she made it clear I was not welcome to stay at home as well as constantly inferring my stupidity and general disapproval of my clothes / make - up, was not allowed to put the heating on when she wasn't home (I work different hours/days), was not allowed to bring friends round, was not entitled to use the kitchen/lounge if she wanted too and so on. She kept an enormous amount of furniture / plants (+ the hover, which saw more use than generally considered "normal") meaning I had to store my stuff elsewhere as it just wouldn't all fit. I couldn't use my beloved bike as "there is no room inside or outside the house" despite having a yard. I fractured both my wrists and while I was away she "cleaned my room" , stripped my bed, "found" some special interest magazines (not !!!!!!, but a hobby she won't approve of) and made the point that she "knew" about them, sent my mail back to sender despite that I was still paying to live there and I missed an appointment (I would have had to rebook, but least I wouldn't have been recorded as a no-show) and then to top it all off, she chose the book that I was going to suggest for the book group we attend (how I knew her). All this only came about after moving into the property she seemed such a nice lady and she was quite clear, she had a lodger stay previously so she knew what was involved. Even if I had asked who would seriously admit that they want rent but don't want to know a lodger exists. I viewed numerous different properties and twice two separate moves fell through for different reasons.

The above experience has added to my doubt that I can make a correct decision on anything anymore. She did honestly seem such a nice middle aged type of person.

soleil lune - There is only so much a person can endure and I've reached capacity. I'm trying to keep several plates spinning and this was just another. I'm really not a wreck but I am sick of feeling uncomfortable at work, being treated unfairly by my parents / colleagues, just trying to do my best and always been found "wanting" in some way or another. I understand ASDA may have more important things to do, don't we all? This is very symptomatic of this particular town though and one of the reasons I dislike living here.

Brighton-Belle - They do point blank refuse to serve you! I've complained several times about it as I always end up waiting an age to get the "call an assistant" removed time and time again. I've tried saying I'm more comfortable with dealing with a sales assistant and they refuse to serve me and insisted on "tutoring" me through using the self-service machine using a twisty screen thing while she watched. This occasion was no different and this time as we were at a free standing self-service till one of the girls on the shop floor helped me to put my stuff through as x2 it malfunctioned saying "Unidentified object in the bagging area" and then wouldn't accept a price label. I feel that as a result of feeling forced to use this ridiculous system, I was rushing to get home struggling to bag things as I want them and this is the result...

I wish it was just a petty thing but unfortunately it just isn't at the moment, those who say its my fault therefore I should just accept it ... I think you have more money than sense. I wonder how many things sit in lost property for years because the person who lost it figures Oh well ... it was my own fault!

I will look into beginners NLP.

Alisonjo - yep, exactly but they are rather less than polite here.

aileth - yep, they tut / sigh and look at you like your "special" if you struggle and if you need age id they don't actually look at you if they can help it, flashing their badge at the sensor and walking off!

Please note I have many people around me who seem to feel that "blunt advice" is what is needed. Hence I haven't told anyone about what happened last Thursday as I am sick of being told "life's hard, get over it" "you always do these sort of things, you'll learn eventually" and "well you should have done x, y and z...." or best of all "Pull yourself together"

I think to be honest that these people don't believe they are helping problem at all but they want me to shut up and go away. I make a point of making sure I don't imply anything similar to clients (even if I do sometimes think they do need to just pull themselves together, stop welling in self-pity).

Last week a client chased me saying he wanted to touch me, and then named me as someone who he wanted to have sex with. Despite doing this job as long as I have it has rattled me and again I don't feel able to tell anyone. Communication is appalling where I work and so I mentioned I was concerned and as a result supervisor gave a big chat in front of others about how this type of thing was "part of the job" etc making me feel like a complete jobsworth. The friend I have told a little bit has said I should leave the job, walk away and become very dramatic about it all - completely missing the point (we are putting certain safeguards in place).

Thanks everyone for your input and I'm sorry that I don't post in others threads as often as people have / do in mine. I only post if I feel I have something to add to the discussion, in some way and usually I don't feel that I do.[/QUOTE

I have been there, something goes wrong and you get into a frame of mind you almost expect life to have the domino effect , it's very difficult to see anything but the negative and it seems a never ending struggle:eek:

I used to write, a lot, could you get it out of your system by writing it all down, scrunch it up and throw it away;)

It's a shame you feel you cannot tell others and have to keep it in, blunt advise is like tough love, people's way of handling you at arms length, sometimes it's an option , sometimes it's not

paulineb_2

Absolutely not part of the job btw. One of the reasons I left my last job working with young people in supported tenancies was because I was almost sexually assaulted by a tenants brother. The company had sets of flats in two towns, one was my home town and the other about 15 miles away, I worked mainly in the other town but supported some tenants in flats, they were all under 30 but mostly under 25

I had to collect rent as part of my job and it was something I did a lot, but I turned up one day to find one of the tenants steaming drunk (which also wasnt unusual because a lot of the tenants had alcohol problems), but he also had his brother there who was also drunk and when I knocked the door he made a grab for me and it was just by chance one of the people who dealt with repairs was with me, he normally wouldnt have been

Anyway the charities response to that and to me getting smacked by a metal chair (I wasnt alone at that time but nothing got done about it), was to do nothing, to put no safeguards in place to make people lone working safer.

It is par for the course that sometimes you'll be alone with people who have troubled backgrounds and not everyone with a troubled background will cause any worker any problems, but when someone is making comments that they want to have sex with a worker, my goodness your line managers should be taking that as a red flag and doing something about it even if that means making sure that you work with them in pairs

Safety first, it should be and you cant predict every eventuality. Alarm pendants as well, one company I worked for had them, others didnt.

Its perfectly ok to get to a !!!!!! it moment and Ive had several believe me

But the issue with your landlady is over, Im sorry you had to go through that. I had a landlady from hell when I left home at 18 to go to college, she had serious issues and took them out on me and it was awful, just be glad you are away from her

And getting upset over this doesnt mean you arent coping, it means you are human

Btw, I hope you are in a union, if you arent, please consider joining one.