Really angry at myself - please help

paulineb_2

It's very easy to get stuck in a frame of mind that everything is wrong and other people have such better lives. I've been there. But many people go through tough stuff. I personally don't believe in all this stuff about if you do good good things will come back to you but I always try and do the right thing.

As I've said before, when I was suffering badly from work related stress I was all over the shop. I lost stuff, nothing of value but enough and yes I'd go home and kick myself but these days I check everything and double check and it is awful when someone else walks off with your cash.

But my gut feeling is that as I said before, this was a last straw moment and sometimes something relatively small in the scheme of things isn't about that, it's about everything else in your life that you are unhappy with.

And maybe this is the point where you step back and say, what do I need to change, what can I change and what can I let go off.

It took me years to start making positive changes in my life because it was easier to hang onto old baggage.

And I still meet people who are awful to me. I've had some testing times lately and so have my family. But these days I'm of the view that its going to take something really massive to get me down.

Don't beat yourself up. We are all human. We all make mistakes. Chalk it up and move on and try and make some decisions about the things in your life you aren't happy about.

When work is horrible it can dominate your entire life. I don't know what else to say except sometimes all you can do is plod on and hope for better times.

candygirl

Am pondering on which ASDA is so rough round here in Lancs;) Also i get why you are so frustrated , but I suspect it really is due to a build up of things and not this one issue:(
I also tend to let things build up and up, until I explode at something like this, that can't be changed
Remember "this too will pass!":D

victory

aliasojo wrote: »

Perhaps the advice is being ignored because it's wrong or just doesn't fit?

It's a little self serving to assume you *know* what the problem is when the reality is you know only what the OP posts at that moment. A moment that can be when emotions are raised. It doesn't mean the OP necessarily goes through life as a wreck.

I understand the intent, people mean well. But they really shouldn't post as if they speak with any kind of knowing. A snapshot on MSE means nothing.

I understand your point of view but not sure I agree:D

Everytime a thread is posted, it is always going to be one sided (only a few times have both parties actively posted in the same thread but that is a rarity) often emotional time and yes a snapshot, one thread is but another and another and another is not;)

Multiple threads could be (assumption only) a cry for help, loneliness, unable to solve without strangers on an internet forum, needing validation and many many more reasons.

Posters see a thread, read a thread and can see the problem, have had the problem, know the solution that made the problem go away and improve their situation, everyone shares and it feels better.

Life is a learning curve, the more one learns the more knowledge they have to be able to see the problem and hopefully share their wisdom for the good.:D

aliasojo

victory wrote: »

Posters see a thread, read a thread and can see the problem, have had the problem, know the solution that made the problem go away and improve their situation, everyone shares and it feels better.

Life is a learning curve, the more one learns the more knowledge they have to be able to see the problem and hopefully share their wisdom for the good.:D

And if you were talking solely about a practical problem then I'd agree.

However you (and others) are venturing (unasked) into emotional/personal territory and since none of you are psychological experts or know the OP personally, then you should really consider whether it's your place to do so.

In my opinion, it's not.

paulineb_2

Of course it can be a moment. But the op has posted in fairly recent times asking for help about other life stuff.

It may well be connected. It may not be. But I'd much rather someone say is all ok than just say just get over it.

Because sometimes when something relatively small happens its a sign something else is up.

And the op has shared on this thread other issues that have upset them.

Which makes me think its not just the money. It's about why am I having such a tough time. It was mentioned in the very first post, having a run of bad luck in recent times.

paulineb_2

I certainly don't claim to be any expert. I just know what it's like to suffer stress in the workplace and how it can affect you.

lottie3000

OP, it may be an idea to write a letter of complaint to Asda Head Office, although they still wont be able to retrieve your money for you, you may find that they'll give you a few vouchers just as a gesture of goodwill as you feel so upset by their procedures. Whatever people think about whos fault it was etc, I still think it's bad practice that only one person is able to burn a copy of a cctv record.

Sequeena

I just want to offer you hugs (((hugs))) and I hope you are feeling a bit better today.

coolcait

aliasojo wrote: »

...

The trouble with posting here is that people only ever see a snapshot, they see the bad things because it's human nature to rant. They don't see the other things that balance it all out.

....

aliasojo wrote: »

...you know only what the OP posts at that moment. A moment that can be when emotions are raised. It doesn't mean the OP necessarily goes through life as a wreck.

.... A snapshot on MSE means nothing.

One post, one moment is a 'snapshot'.

Several posts, several moments may be a big 'snapshot'.

Several threads, with the same type of moment, become a pattern.

Multiple threads, with the same type of moment, suggest a problem.

The problem might be that the poster needs to find a better way to cope with a particular issue - be that about money, marriage, mates or the poster's 'me'. Or something else entirely.

The problem might be that the OP is in a situation, or relationship, or workplace, or whatever which the OP simply cannot resolve alone.

Or something else entirely.

It's not always 'human nature to rant'. Sometimes, it's human nature to try to find an explanation or a solution or a resolution.

If you're the type of person who just wants to rant - end of - then you may be frustrated or irritated when offered solutions.

If you're the type of person who just wants to find an explanation or solution or resolution, then you may be frustrated or irritated when solutions etc are rejected in favour of (what seems like) unproductive ranting.

An example of '(what seems like) unproductive ranting' is to have a go at a supermarket chain which happened to be the unwitting venue for the OP losing some cash. And which then co-operated with a police investigation, while supporting the principles of the Data Protection Act.

A productive approach - as one other poster has suggested - would have been to rein in the ranting, and write to Asda in a constructive way. The reward might be a decent amount of vouchers, to compensate for any inconvenience.

Ranting will get you a 'sorry if you were disappointed with the way we dealt with your concern, but...' reply.

'Wad some pow'r the giftie gie us'.

pollypenny

Top drawer, you really have my sympathy!

I did similar thing years ago, in the days when we had to count every ha'penny to pay the mortgage and keep DS in uni.

I left £50 in the cash point drawer, as OH distracted me.

I cried all night, after phoning the police to ask if any money had been handed in.

I was so shocked a few weeks later, when our bank statement came, to find a credit for the amount. I didn't know that the cash machine takes it back after a short time. I was so lucky no one was around.

I would write to Asda, not in a ranting way, but to express your disappointment in their lack of concern for a regular customer.