Is OH being 'greedy'?

paulineb_2

If this were me and I absolutely appreciate its not, Id cook my own (including lunch the next day), Id get him to cook his own as well

Because its obvious that its not working the way it is at the moment

Alikay

I'd be doing everything I could to enable us to eat our main meal together. Could you factor in a brisk 20 minute walk in the evening to boost your metabolism so you could eat at 7pm together? Then get him to have a bowl of cereal or some toast to fill him up again before bed?

dibuzz

meritaten wrote: »

no dunroaming. he likes to eat at 8.00 and wants HIS food freshly cooked! I don't mind that. I am happy to eat leftovers - he isn't. its the way he was brought up - I know that and I don't mind - I DO mind him knowing that his seconds sometimes means I don't get it for lunch.

I would be telling him that you are cooking your food for 6pm and warming his up later because you are sick of him eating your portion as well. If he wants his freshly cooked then he can be considerate and not eat yours.

meritaten wrote: »

I do tend to leave my portion in the container it was cooked in - to save on washing up!

But you will be putting it on a plate to eat it so it's not going to make any more washing up.


I agree that he should see a doctor if this is a recent thing but even so he needs to respect your entitlement to your share of the meal.

My kids (all young adults now) still ask if they can take something from the fridge.
If we have Chinese I never finish mine so half of it goes straight into a container for me to eat the next day. Sometimes My youngest comes home from work ravenous before the rest of us are ready to eat. He will ask if he can have it and I always say yes but he would never just help himself. If I was out he would text or ring me to ask.

ecgirl07

meritaten wrote: »

no dunroaming. he likes to eat at 8.00 and wants HIS food freshly cooked! I don't mind that. I am happy to eat leftovers - he isn't. its the way he was brought up - I know that and I don't mind - I DO mind him knowing that his seconds sometimes means I don't get it for lunch.

Not a chance id be doing that - Id be making it fresh for my lunch and serving it up to him later at 8. He eats it or goes hungry and that way whats left is left for him too so no worries about him eating your share.

Either that or cook together so he knows whats going into the preparing the meal and will respect the shares of the meal.

TopQuark

I understand that you are using 'supper' to describe the main evening meal, not a lighter snack later in the evening? Or is this a second meal that you are cooking, after dinner??

TBH if I felt as strongly as you seem to, I'd simply stop cooking. If your husband wants a freshly cooked meal and you're not bothered, why can't he cook it himself? Why do you continue to wait on him when he, as you say, is 'greedy' and 'selfish'?

OH and I share the cooking as we both have hectic 'careers'. We also compromise on the time that we eat; my preference is around 7pm but him, being from the south of France, prefers to eat around 8.30pm. I'm dying of starvation by this point, so we compromise; anywhere between 7.30 and 8.00pm most days.

Any

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

So... if you'd already made your mind up, then why ask the question here?

I don't think greed is the word you're looking for...

I feel sorry for a bloke that can't have seconds when he fancies it.

Sorry, but that is rubbish.
If my OH tried to eat my meal that he knew is my meal he would be cooking his dinners himself.
There is a hell of a lot difference between being selfish ar** and being just hungry. My OH woul either ask or have something else (have you thought about that, that he can do something else then eat someone elses food?) or tell me he would like larger portions as he is hungry and I could adjust!!
You don't just go and eat someone elses food!!

He is an adult for crying out loud

GwylimT

Surely the issue is, as you have chosen to cook all the meals you aren't cooking enough to provide an evening meal and your lunch for the next day.

My daughter and I tend to eat at about 5:30, my wife isn't home at that time, sometimes she gets left overs, sometimes I eat it all so she makes her own meal when she gets home. If I wanted to make sure there was enough for her to eat every evening I would make more.

skintandscared_2

As many others have said, but I can't see your response to it (apologies if I've missed it) why don't you just plate up your lunch portion when you plate up his dinner, cling-film it and put it in the fridge? Then it he'll know what is left in the pan is available for "seconds". Seems pretty obvious solution to me.

ciderwithrosie_2

It really annoys me too when you've cooked a decent dinner and yet people are looking for more to eat not long afterwards. An ex of mine was like this, I think it's just an acquired bad habit as if they've eaten a good sized portion they can't really say they're still starving.

jetplane

Your way of eating has clearly suited you and you are happy to cook this way so there's no need to change it. The only thing that has changed is your husbands appetite.

I often cook more and put into tubs for the next day, firstly I would plate my own portion and then leftovers are there to be seen. Next I would talk with my husband about the change in appetite, Is it simply because the food is there, is it because he wants more on his plate, does he want pudding? If he says he just can't fill himself then he should have a blood test both diabetes and hyperthyroidism make you hungry and you can still lose weight and both can affect your mood and memory.

I don't think he's necessarily greedy but certainly thoughtless if he knows its tomorrow's dinner. If my husband was hungry he would find something else and not eat my portion / lunch whatever. If he's hungry can you not make more? Why don't you discuss it rather than criticise which does seem to be your usual default position.