Is OH being 'greedy'?

meritaten

is oh greedy or am I being unreasonable?
OH knows that I don't eat heavy meals after 6.00pm. he loves a 'substantial' supper at about 8.00pm, so normally I cook for him then leave mine til the next day and warm it up for my lunch.
I have noticed that lately he will get himself 'seconds' leaving either a very small portion or nothing!
I got really peed off with him tonight - he came in and not only got a cooked chicken out the fridge to munch on, while his supper was cooking - I had to remind him that half was for our lunch tomorrow- he chucked the leg and wing bones in the recycling bin (I keep them for stock - as he very well knows), twenty mins later I dished up his and GDs supper (chicken curry made with half the roast chick for tomorrows lunch). which was about half the saucepan of curry. he had a really generous helping.
This is what really peed me off - he went and got seconds and left about a ladle full for me! hardly worth keeping as it came about half inch up a cereal bowl.
last night he had half a beef and ale pie - and he ate the rest for a snack today! I was going to have some of it for my lunch!
he just takes stuff - he doesn't ask if I need it or want it - he is getting really selfish lately and I don't like it.

onlyroz

Have you explicitly stated that the extra portions have been set aside for your lunch? If you've done this and he's still gobbling them down, then yes he's being greedy.

Sometimes I make a large portion of something (e.g. pasta, curry, etc) and then put some of it into a box or boxes and say "that's our lunch for tomorrow" - if somebody then went and snaffled it I would be most put out.

Ms_Chocaholic

I agree, he is being selfish if he knows beforehand that you are saving it for your lunch tomorrow.

When I make a Sunday lunch (rarely), I usually make double and plate it up for the next day n pop the plates in the fridge ready to heat up in the microwave. When you are dishing out, could you do this so he knows that your portion is already accounted for. I know it's a long winded way to do it but if it avoids any more problems it may be worth it.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Put it straight out of the way so that he can't eat it. To be honest if my old man was doing that, I'd stop making him suppers.

Tiddlywinks

Cor... eating seconds in your own home shouldn't be out of bounds surely?

If he is hungry then why not?

Is he particularly active and needing the calories? Is his sudden appetite increase a cause for concern medically?

Is he comfort eating?

In our house, if it's in the pan then it's available and it's every man for himself.

fashionlover10

I think he is being greedy if you've told him you're saving it for lunch.

I'm quite lucky I must admit that OH will usually ask if I'm saving 'this' or if he can eat it. He also knows anything in a Tupperware box in the fridge is typically for someone's lunch/tomorrows dinner.

Dunroamin

I don't mean this to sound rude but do you think he does it as some kind of protest because of your rather odd eating arrangements?

krlyr

Initially I would say yes, he's being greedy and rude. However, with some meals perhaps he doesn't quite realise how little is left. E.g. overestimating how much meat was left on the chicken (and forgetting you make use of the leg), not realising how little meat was left in the curry sauce and so on.

I would perhaps get some plastic takeaway tubs or other storage tub and dish your lunch portion into that straight away. If he starts pinching food out of your tubs, then that would be it for me - there's no mistaking that the tub was for your lunch and no excuses for pinching it, other than being plain selfish.

Does he think you only have the food for lunch to save it going to waste? I sometimes leave a portion in the pan/dish with the idea that if we don't have seconds, I'll eat it for lunch - but if OH wants more and I don't, generally I'm not very fussed if he eats it, I'll have an alternative lunch. However, if I know I fancy some the next day, I will let him know and he knows it's "out of bounds" - I would be quite upset if, knowing that, he went and ate it anyway.

coolcait

So, what communication have you had with him about all of this?

Did you once say to him "I use chicken bones for stock - so don't chuck them out", and expect him to remember that for all eternity?

Do you expect him to know that you are counting on having leftovers the next day, or do you point it out at the time you are serving dinner, or people are going for seconds?

If you have specific requirements or boundaries, you need to spell them out. You often have to repeat those requirements.

I'm a pragmatist. I know that people have different priorities to mine, and don't always see the same things as being 'important'. So, I'll reiterate my priorities as regularly as needed.

Right now, with a growing boy in the family, I have to reiterate my priorities on left-overs every night. A couple of times.

I'd far rather do that than find myself stewing over the fact that my priorities have been overtaken by the priorities dictated by a hungry tum.

coolcait

What's the difference between being greedy and being hungry?

meritaten

Dunroamin wrote: »

I don't mean this to sound rude but do you think he does it as some kind of protest because of your rather odd eating arrangements?

I know they are odd Dunroaming - but, to keep weight off I find it best to eat most of my calories during the day. its just the way my metabolism works. I was nearly three stone overweight and by accident found that I can eat like a navvy in the day but eating large meals at night means I put on weight. OH KNOWS this! he knows that I will cook a pie for supper and serve his with new potatoes and green veg, the next day I will warm it up for lunch and if I want chips I will have them or saute any leftover potatoes.
The only time I eat a heavy meal after 6.00 is if we go out for a meal (and my tummy protests the next day) - its been like this for over ten years now - he knows dam well I do enough for HIS supper and my lunch the next day.