Would it be rude...

Buzzybee90

Errata wrote: »

Usual T&C apply: don't pee in the fireplace or kick the cat!
Seriously - it's a party, do what is normally done at parties, enjoy yourself and thank the hosts for inviting you. If there's a hint that they might be expecting presents buy them a five year calender;)

If I could thank this twice then I would!

marisco_2

I had a long engagement. In the time between me getting engaged and then married many of my friends got hitched. Some of them went on to start families too. It didn't bother me in the slightest, which is as it should be. The decisions people make in their lives shouldn't restrict how other people lead theirs

Person_one

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I've got a best friend and a cousin that i've dreamed of since I was little (that came out wrong...) then the third I've got a few people it could be/ all could change in intervening time but she wouldn't really be in my choices as we aren't close.

May I gently suggest that you might already be a bit over-invested in the whole 'perfect wedding' thing.

Buzzybee90

Person_one wrote: »

May I gently suggest that you might already be a bit over-invested in the whole 'perfect wedding' thing.

How do you mean? I was only joking with the dreamed of bit, I was never like that.

aileth

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I've got a best friend and a cousin that i've dreamed of since I was little (that came out wrong...) then the third I've got a few people it could be/ all could change in intervening time but she wouldn't really be in my choices as we aren't close.

I meant present wise but we have already given them a card some hopefully this will just be a big celebration!

I really wish with hindsight I could've only had my sister as my bridesmaid. I had four including my sister and they were awful and almost ruined the day for me. They refused to come get ready in my room with some champagne, were late, and generally showed their true colours. One refused to get me a wedding present when the others tried to coerce her. I really regretted having them and it ruined our friendship, so keep it in mind.

We took them a nice bottle of wine in one of those wine gift bags, no card, but I don't do cards (for the engagement party).

GoldenShadow

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

Yeah no, you're right!

People (myself included) are too worried about pleasing others nowadays. If you were asked to be a bridesmaid, would you feel obliged to return?

Its probably seen as etiquette by some to do that but unless I got on really well with someone I personally wouldn't ask them. I'm a bit unusual to some though ie. wouldn't have a big wedding nor would I be that bothered if someone felt snubbed because if they know me they would know that would not be the intention. I'm a 'your wedding your choice' kinda girl and if I could would disappear off, get married and let everyone find out when they see a letter with the new surname on or something then I would. OH's parents would be unhappy though, so I don't think I will get away with that one if the time comes (and I don't care enough about going off in secret to upset OH's parents, its not that big a deal)

Buzzybee90

GoldenShadow wrote: »

Its probably seen as etiquette by some to do that but unless I got on really well with someone I personally wouldn't ask them. I'm a bit unusual to some though ie. wouldn't have a big wedding nor would I be that bothered if someone felt snubbed because if they know me they would know that would not be the intention. I'm a 'your wedding your choice' kinda girl and if I could would disappear off, get married and let everyone find out when they see a letter with the new surname on or something then I would. OH's parents would be unhappy though, so I don't think I will get away with that one if the time comes (and I don't care enough about going off in secret to upset OH's parents, its not that big a deal)

I need to come round to your way of thinking! Hehe. I'd only ask someone I knew I could trust with anything, my cousin is the same age as me and we have grown up together, my best friend has been so since our first day of play group aged 2!

Person_one

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

How do you mean? I was only joking with the dreamed of bit, I was never like that.

Well, you're mentally planning a wedding before you're engaged!

aileth

Person_one wrote: »

Well, you're mentally planning a wedding before you're engaged!

I think a lot of ladies have done this, I know I certainly did

Buzzybee90

Person_one wrote: »

Well, you're mentally planning a wedding before you're engaged!

Not planning a such, but we have talked about what sort of wedding we would like big/small, that's about it really!