Would it be rude...

Buzzybee90

Hello everyone!

Person_one

Don't be daft! You don't have to put your own life on hold while you wait for somebody else's wedding, what on earth gave you that idea?

GoldenShadow

They're doing what makes them happy, you do what makes you happy. Sorted.

NAR

Yes they have told you their wedding is quite a way off. Nothing to stop you getting engaged and married within that timescale if it suits you and OH.

pawsies

Do what you want to do. Just because they have decided to get married in 3 years doesn't mean that other people can't.

If they kick up a fuss then ask them why it matters. Surely an engagement is about love and a promise to be together- not a race?

Dunroamin

Why on earth would you feel that nobody in your circle can get married during this period? Have I missed something or is it just you?

AlexLK

I don't see why you can't get married in the meantime? I had a two year long engagement as my wife wanted everything to be perfect. At the time, would have married her in a shed, none of it really mattered to me.

aileth

I can see why you think this. We had some friends get engaged before us and they didn't even give an approximate date, just 'in a few years.' When we got engaged and they asked us when we were getting married, we said in a year, they got really snooty and haven't talked to us since (how dare we get married before them when we got engaged after them!).

However, that was just them. Everyone is different. I wouldn't think about it if I were you, if you want to get engaged/married, you do it whenever you want to. I certainly didn't think about them or even see it as an issue, and if they do that speaks volumes about them to be honest. It isn't a competition.

Buzzybee90

Thank you for all your replies, I wasn't expecting such quick ones!

It's certainly not a race, no. I really appreciate the responses, I just didn't want to rock the boat. We might not be engaged by then or we might be married, I just don't want to be accused of stealing thunder

Mankysteve

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

Hello everyone!

I'm wondering if anyone has been in this situation before.

My boyfriend's brother and his girlfriend announced their engagement in May (yay for them!). Ordinarily when I think engagement, I think wedding in the next 18 months. However having spoken to them since they have said they aren't getting married for over 3 1/2 years.

We are slightly older than them and within that time frame I'd like to be married/soon-to-be married (not engaged as of now). I sort of feel like they've set a big reserved sign over the whole of the next three years where myself or close friends can't really get married. Am I looking at it wrong? Any advice welcome.

Thanks,

B. x

It seems to be the current fashion to get engaged then wait/ never bother getting married. In think the current financial situation is partly to blame.

GoldenShadow

Reminds me of this thread. Some good points were raised...

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4716591