Would it be rude...

Dunroamin

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I'm not sure really, I suppose if it was in a year and someone popped in before them they might get a bit stroppy about it but 3 years is such a long time. I've spoken to a few of our friends and they have expressed similar worries, I will pass on your thoughts everyone!

Even if it were only a year I don't see why it would be a problem or why anyone would even care.

Buzzybee90

GoldenShadow wrote: »

I was referring more to the time scales. The time between engagement and marriage varies for many and in essence everyone should do what is right for themselves whatever and whenever that may be. I wouldn't have said the thread was silly, poster felt jealous and vented. I just think people can do what they like when they like its up to you to make your life what you want it regardless of what or when anyone else does anything.

Yeah no, you're right!

People (myself included) are too worried about pleasing others nowadays. If you were asked to be a bridesmaid, would you feel obliged to return?

Person_one

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

Another quick question. They are having an engagement party in October, does anyone know the etiquette? I've never been to one before.

Go, eat, drink, dance, wear a nice outfit and take a card.

Don't overthink things!

Buzzybee90

Dunroamin wrote: »

Even if it were only a year I don't see why it would be a problem or why anyone would even care.

I know a family where one daughter had been with partner for years and years and planning a wedding for July 2012, the other daughter got with her husband in the January and was married in June 2012. There was a bit of a hurrah about that!

Person_one

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

We only want a small/diy wedding so money shouldn't be as much of a problem as if we were going to whole hog. Plus the girls are both different families, if we are talking traditional but no we'd be looking to pay for most ourselves

Sorry, didn't you say you weren't engaged?

Buzzybee90

Person_one wrote: »

Go, eat, drink, dance, wear a nice outfit and take a card.

Don't overthink things!

Great, I'm excited for it now :beer:

Buzzybee90

Person_one wrote: »

Sorry, didn't you say you weren't engaged?

No we aren't but we have talked about the wedding vs. deposit debacle and discussed basics

aileth

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

Yeah no, you're right!

People (myself included) are too worried about pleasing others nowadays. If you were asked to be a bridesmaid, would you feel obliged to return?

Depends really. If I only wanted one bridesmaid (my sister), no. If I was having a horde of bridesmaids, then yes.

And re engagement party etiquette, what do you mean? We never had one, but my brother-in-law did and all we did was getting royally !!!!ed in a hired room of a pub and eat buffet.

Buzzybee90

aileth wrote: »

Depends really. If I only wanted one bridesmaid (my sister), no. If I was having a horde of bridesmaids, then yes.

And re engagement party etiquette, what do you mean? We never had one, but my brother-in-law did and all we did was getting royally !!!!ed in a hired room of a pub and eat buffet.

I've got a best friend and a cousin that i've dreamed of since I was little (that came out wrong...) then the third I've got a few people it could be/ all could change in intervening time but she wouldn't really be in my choices as we aren't close.

I meant present wise but we have already given them a card some hopefully this will just be a big celebration!

Errata

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

Another quick question. They are having an engagement party in October, does anyone know the etiquette? I've never been to one before.

Usual T&C apply: don't pee in the fireplace or kick the cat!
Seriously - it's a party, do what is normally done at parties, enjoy yourself and thank the hosts for inviting you. If there's a hint that they might be expecting presents buy them a five year calender;)