Honest advice please - relationship

alias*alibi

Treevo wrote: »

The way you do every day and every time you give advice?

No point giving half a story now is there; because you get skewed advice.

paddy's_mum

To my mind, the greatest danger is the OP's apparent passivity. She says she has been pressured into this-that-and-the-other with this man.

How long before he pressures her into marriage, continuing the pregnancy and all that those things entail?

I believe that the OP needs to develop some spine and put a stop to behaviours that, so far, seem to have caused little happiness but lots of trouble and worry.

Mojisola

alias*alibi wrote: »

How can we give an informed decision based not on the whole facts.

Treevo wrote: »

The way you do every day and every time you give advice?

Just so. If you think you need both sides of a situation before giving advice, I don't know why you even look at these threads.

alias*alibi

Mojisola wrote: »

Just so. If you think you need both sides of a situation before giving advice, I don't know why you even look at these threads.

Don't need to hear both sides of the story; I just don't understand why somebody would say there's more to it but not go in to it. For example if he was using threats or intimidation to get her to stay with him etc, im sure some posters would have a different view to what they have said. However I see where the OP is coming from from what she has posted.

Treevo

alias*alibi wrote: »

No point giving half a story now is there; because you get skewed advice.

Would you prefer a full sworn testimony from everyone involved in the situation?

Honestly, what's the point in reading threads like this if you feel you need the full story. You're not going to get it.

alias*alibi

Treevo wrote: »

Would you prefer a full sworn testimony from everyone involved in the situation?

Honestly, what's the point in reading threads like this if you feel you need the full story. You're not going to get it.

Oh do wind your neck in! Seriously; do you like being 'right' and don't let it go til you are?

Treevo

alias*alibi wrote: »

Oh do wind your neck in! Seriously; do you like being 'right' and don't let it go til you are?

Excuse me? You replied to me and I replied to you. If you didn't want a response - don't post to someone on a forum.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

marisco wrote: »

Cant help but feel that is a really cold post Jojo. You haven't taken into account the feelings of the OPs partner at all. Just encouraged someone who has fooled a man into thinking she loves him enough, for him to decide to want to have a baby with her, to continue to think only of her needs so as not to miss out on meeting someone way better. Just when you think you have read it all on this forum!

Cold? Practical. Is it better to have an unwanted child with a man you don't love? Is it better to permanently tie two people together through a child when the relationship is more than likely doomed? To consign a child to having parents who in all probability won't be together by the time they start primary school? To have a man who thinks life is great find out afterwards that the mother of his child didn't love him, found him boring and unfunny and just kept things going because she felt like she was trapped? And then end up without the happily ever after he's probably envisaging?

Every child should be 100% wanted and felt to be a blessing, not a millstone. It's not fair on either parent or the child for that to happen.


The OP has the opportunity to prevent the almost inevitable shitstorm that will come about in the next couple of years.




I'm not being cold. Cold would be to say tough luck, you're stuck with him for the next twenty years - get on with it and stop complaining.

Acc72

alias*alibi wrote: »

Although I feel for the OP; as with these kind of posts, when the replies aren't all going how the OP hopes we hear that there is 'more to the story' but doesn't want to post about that. Is there more or are we led to believe there is more so we feel bad towards the guy? How can we give an informed decision based not on the whole facts.

I agree with this and have also noticed that this has become more frequesnt on this forum.

alias*alibi

Treevo wrote: »

Excuse me? You replied to me and I replied to you. If you didn't want a response - don't post to someone on a forum.

You're excused. You follow people around on posts and constantly reply to their posts if you don't agree. Like I said previously I AGREED with the OP; however as this is a public forum I voiced an opinion; like you. However, you don't see me berate you for your opinion though.