Friend sold presents on eBay

Wicked_witch

poet123 wrote: »

Short on class because they have sold on unwanted gifts? Or short on class because they possibly dislike homemade items?

The selling on part. To me (and to OP) that's rude and tasteless. But that's just my opinion, not a fact. I have been thinking about why I feel that way since reading this though, and I think it's because to me it's the thought that counts and selling gifts is like a rejection of that thought by the recipient. There is a line of reasoning that once you give a present it's out of your hands and the other person can do whatever makes them happy, including selling or giving it away and that is probably a more healthy outlook.

There's nothing wrong with not liking handmade things at all, but it would be polite in that case to mention it rather than let someone waste their time on something you hate. My son's girlfriend's mum doesn't like handmade presents and luckily she told me that when she found I was making christmas tree ornaments so I didn't bother making her any and got her a bought gift instead. I would have been annoyed if she sold it, since she picked that option and I did extra shopping to accommodate her preference and spent more than I would have otherwise.

So much reflection!

poet123

Wicked_witch wrote: »

The selling on part. To me (and to OP) that's rude and tasteless. But that's just my opinion, not a fact. I have been thinking about why I feel that way since reading this though, and I think it's because to me it's the thought that counts and selling gifts is like a rejection of that thought by the recipient. There is a line of reasoning that once you give a present it's out of your hands and the other person can do whatever makes them happy, including selling or giving it away and that is probably a more healthy outlook.

There's nothing wrong with not liking handmade things at all, but it would be polite in that case to mention it rather than let someone waste their time on something you hate. My son's girlfriend's mum doesn't like handmade presents and luckily she told me that when she found I was making christmas tree ornaments so I didn't bother making her any and got her a bought gift instead. I would have been annoyed if she sold it, since she picked that option and I did extra shopping to accommodate her preference and spent more than I would have otherwise.

So much reflection!

You see, I personally think that accepting graciously whatever you are given and appreciating the thought is not related to what comes later. I really couldn't say to someone thanks, but no thanks, although I have seen it done.

In education we get lots of gifts and they are always appreciated because we know the sentiment of thanks that comes with them. Often though they are simply not to our taste or don't fit with the decor, or duplicates. They go away into drawers often for long periods, and then some time later may be recycled, go on eBay as part of a de clutter, go to the charity shop etc. That action does not mean we were any the less appreciative of the act of being given them. Nor does it, imo, illustrate a lack of class.

catmiaow

Strapped wrote: »

Nope, just better stories.

What stories? Nothing that I have said have been stories thank you.

catmiaow

For me its the selling part, if there was honesty and it was given to charity there wouldn't be an issue.

aliasojo

catmiaow wrote: »

For me its the selling part, if there was honesty and it was given to charity there wouldn't be an issue.

That's the crux of it.

You're annoyed because she has not acted in a way that you approve of.

But if you haven't talked to her about this, how on earth is she to know how you feel?

As can be seen by the mixed replies on this thread, different people have different opinions as to what can be done with gifts, so it's not unreasonable to see that she is not of the same mindset as you, yet you are berating her actions here when she has no clue about what is going on in your head.

Mojisola

I wouldn't mind if someone sold the occasional gift I had given them - we can't always get our choice of presents right. I would be upset if everything I gave them was put on ebay, especially if I had gone out of my way to find items they collect or had made something special.

If someone was giving me presents I didn't want, I'd suggest that we stopped giving each other presents.

steven0121

I imagine that the OP feels betrayed and wants others to validate her feelings, which is human nature?

The problem though, in my experience, is when you form an opinion of someone else’s actions, you are rarely 100% right.

I wonder how many friendships and relationships have broken down due to people being unwilling or unable to express their feelings to the other party?

springdreams

Although this thread seems to have died, I just wanted to add my 2p.

I used to collect unusual candles.

I no longer collect any candles.

The reason is that my family and friends knew I collected candles, and seemed to think that meant I collected all and any type of candle. I got fragranced ones, coloured ones, different shaped ones, etc. Most were NOT the type I actually collected.

I kept them out of politeness for many years, and even displayed them, but soon the ones I did not collect overtook the ones I did, so I didn't want to collect them anymore

They were my candles. I therefore sold off my whole collection at a car boot.

So perhaps the items you were giving your friend were not actually the type she collected ... you just thought she did, because after all a "candle" is a "candle" (not).

poet123

I agree, I love candle holders but not every one ever made!!

This_Year

On holiday I overheard a girl talking to her friend. "Ooh look, novelty lighters. I collect those!"

Her friend said, "how many do you have?"

"One"

:rotfl: