Teenagers :(

Loz01

Also if she keeps saying she can't be bothered with a course/any form of education I'd give up pestering her about it, she's clearly not gonna change her mind and is also gonna carry on being rude to you if you let her!

j.e.j.

Loz01 wrote: »

Also if she keeps saying she can't be bothered with a course/any form of education I'd give up pestering her about it, she's clearly not gonna change her mind and is also gonna carry on being rude to you if you let her!

This is the thing. We had arguments, but I would never have told my mum or dad to f--- off :eek::eek: It just wouldn't have entered my head.

If you let someone do something once, they'll keep doing it, because they've got away with it. I think parents these days maybe aren't allowed to discipline their kids.

themull1

Could your daughter do something sport related if she was good at it?

Person_one

Have you ever sought any professional support or advice about the poor relationship between your two children?

I have to say, it sounds like this is the icing on the cake, rather than a unique incident.

DigForVictory

Patty, you are a strong, determined woman who has the courage to ask for help when you need it.
Your daughter has not learned this last lesson, and picked up some regrettable habits, which thankfully are curable.
You know where she is, and there is still a roof, a bed, a meal waiting for her - that's top mothering in the teeth of a blizzard of a day.
I think the idea of a break is excellent - ship her off, away from school, exams, schoolfriends & most of her home comforts & technology. It gives you all a chance to have a rest from each other.
When she gets back, go tough love on language & be ruthless against bullying. She's still your baby girl, but just as you slapped her hand away from fire, so you must stop her using violence. It doesn't matter who her target has as parents - she has to stop.

Her future is still as malleable as wet putty, and bad grades today are a heartbreak. In another year, they may not matter, or count.

So, hang on in there - everyone here can empathise with the shock and shame that your little lass can turn into this unholy terror, but "keep calm and carry on". It isn't just you, many families are having a stressful Bank Holiday weekend rewriting futures.

All the very best of luck! You are worthy of love & respect - as will your daughter be, with a bit of pushing. So, pick your battles, keep right on loving all your family & do not take any nonsense!

Mojisola

DigForVictory wrote: »

She's still your baby girl,

I think this attitude is part of the problem with young adults. My children are not "my babies" - they are capable young adults. I don't treat them like I did when they were little. I expect them to behave like responsible people.

Dunroamin

Person_one wrote: »

Have you ever sought any professional support or advice about the poor relationship between your two children?

I have to say, it sounds like this is the icing on the cake, rather than a unique incident.

Perhaps an iceberg rather than an iced cake?:p

Person_one

Dunroamin wrote: »

Perhaps an iceberg rather than an iced cake?:p

I really struggled there, I didn't want to say 'tip of the iceberg' as that seems to minimise the violence towards the 11 year old, but what's another metaphor for the most visible bit of an underlying huge problem?

Help me!

Blackpool_Saver

LadyBones wrote: »

I dont know if it helps but we had a discussion a few weeks back in which I said that because she is a child still and my daughter, tolerance, love and patience are hers by right. However the minute she turns 18 she's an adult and loses that privelege,

What a vile and abusive thing to say to your own child

Dunroamin

Person_one wrote: »

I really struggled there, I didn't want to say 'tip of the iceberg' as that seems to minimise the violence towards the 11 year old, but what's another metaphor for the most visible bit of an underlying huge problem?

Help me!

Tip of the iceberg - ie 2/3 unseen below the surface.