Teenagers :(

Blackpool_Saver

**Patty** wrote: »

I'd prefer iced cakes to icebergs, to be fair. Icebergs remind me of the NAS Earlybird triad of impairment & implied behaviour analysis.....and it's too late in the day for me to be brooding over that now:o

The lies/excuses have started...... She didn't hit him...she clipped him round the ear. He was rude. etc etc........there's always an excuse. There always has been.


Blackpool Saver....No, my son will not be violent in a few years time. You don't know him....or me for that matter......and yet you've judged both of us anyway. Hmmmm.

I am only saying out loud what others are thinking, why do you think they want you to seek professional help for BOTH of them..........and I can tell from your posts that you like your son better than your daughter

**Patty**

jayII wrote: »

Is she narcissistic? Some of what you describe is typical teenage behaviour but the combination of violence, extreme self-interest, lack of empathy and the lying/excuses, is worrying.

I may be totally wide of the mark as it's obviously difficult to assess a situation based on postings on the internet, but her behaviour rings alarm bells for me.

Otherwise, has she learnt the violent behaviour and excuses somewhere, or witnessed it at some point in her life?

No, i wouldn't say she is or has narcissistic tendancies....she can turn it on & off, I would however, say she is manipulative.

(On a side note, interesting that it's been removed from DSM V.....along with Asperger's but that's a whole new thread:D)

Absolutely not to witnessing violent behaviour. Her father was emotionally abusive towards me, he only ever got physical once & I packed my bags & left the same week. She would have been just turned 4, so i wouldn't have thought it would be enough to make an impact on learned behaviours now.

Dunroamin

Person_one wrote: »

While this is obviously very serious, surely you aren't suggesting that she just walks away from her teenage daughter the way you would hope to from a partner who hit you?

Domestic violence is domestic violence whoever is the perpetrator. The OP's son needs protecting from his sister just as much as he would from any adult behaving violently towards him in his home.

Dunroamin

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

I am only saying out loud what others are thinking, why do you think they want you to seek professional help for BOTH of them..........and I can tell from your posts that you like your son better than your daughter

I think we all like her son better than her daughter at the moment!

Blackpool_Saver

Dunroamin wrote: »

I think we all like her son better than her daughter at the moment!

That's not the right approach. We should be impartial if we are going to help. The services will be impartial for sure.

We only know THIS part of the story, we have no idea WHY she is like she is

jayII

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

That's not the right approach. We should be impartial if we are going to help. The services will be impartial for sure.

We only know THIS part of the story, we have no idea WHY she is like she is

I agree with your second comment but I'm not so sure about the first. In an ideal world, yes, but in reality many services will be biased towards the (much) younger child.

Dunroamin

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

That's not the right approach. We should be impartial if we are going to help. The services will be impartial for sure.

We only know THIS part of the story, we have no idea WHY she is like she is

If an almost adult has hit a young child, I don't particularly care why she did it, anymore than I care about why a man assaults his partner.

We aren't professionals working on the case so there's no need for professional impartiality.

**Patty**

If i've given the impression that i favour one of my children over the other, then that is not my intention. I love them all equally.

However.......it's my daughter's behaviour that i very much object to.

Blackpool_Saver

jayII wrote: »

I agree with your second comment but I'm not so sure about the first. In an ideal world, yes, but in reality many services will be biased towards the (much) younger child.

I meant the mental health services rather than the child protective services

Blackpool_Saver

Dunroamin wrote: »

If an almost adult has hit a young child, I don't particularly care why she did it, anymore than I care about why a man assaults his partner.

We aren't professionals working on the case so there's no need for professional impartiality.

How do you know that professionals are not on these forums and answering these posts