Husband's ex wife wanting more money

Blackpool_Saver

£450 a month, I wouldn't have the cheek to ask for another penny. This will be about the stepmum it's nothing to do with money

Melaniep101

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

£450 a month, I wouldn't have the cheek to ask for another penny. This will be about the stepmum it's nothing to do with money

Not sure what you mean...

Blackpool_Saver

Melaniep101 wrote: »

Not sure what you mean...

It's a jealousy thing, she wants to poke her neb in yall's happiness;)


been there TWICE, could write a book. Stick to paying maintenance and for anything else ask for a list of what is required and buy it yourself
edited to add, don't give cash over to her, if she gets huffy you will know it's a con

Melaniep101

clearingout wrote: »

Oh the usual carp....how on earth could you possibly know:
a) how much she earns
b) how much her mortgage is
c) what her reasonable outgoings might be considered to be, all things considered because you can't possibly know what all those things might be
d) what debts may be hanging over from her divorce
e) what other debts she may have taken on since her divorce
f) and whilst I don't think it's been said, I expect at some point the 'but she wears designer clothes' argument will be thrown out. Maybe she does - purchased on ebay, charity shops, car boots...

Yes, you work hard. Don't we all. Some of us work harder than others. Some of us earn more than others. Marriages are made of many things - but are legally considered a business of 'equals' so this rubbish about 'my husband paid for her house' is exactly that: rubbish. You married a man with a child and a financial responsibility towards that child for the rest of his childhood. You knew this would mean a reduction of his income and that sometimes, there would be a need to make sacrifices in favour of the child. So why so angry? So bitter that his ex has a decent home - no doubt worked for by the pair of them in the past - whilst you have to work to pay for your home? Would you prefer to have seen her and the child in social housing in a carp area? She is who she is, you are who you are. Accept it and live your own life or be angry about it and let it eat you up to the point where it damages your relationship.

Way too many people happy to try and micromanage an ex's life and lifestyle without being in receipt of any or very few 'facts' and make those niggly, rude comments along the lines 'well, the money obviously isn't spent on the child' and 'oh gosh, the child is dressed like an orphan'....arrggghhh! If I had a pound for everytime I'd read that on here, I'd have no need to work for the rest of my life. It's rubbish, all of it. Designed to make the ex look 'bad' and the new partner 'good' and 'accepting' and somehow 'hard done by'.

and £150 for school uniform - I've just forked out £300 for three children, of the cheapest quality (basics from Asda). These items will need replacing during the school year and I had gathered some items prior to the summer holiday starting because I know I can't afford it all in one go. I haven't bought coats yet, or new PE kits even though they are probably needed. Child maintenance at CSA rate is a minimum contribution.

I think my post may have hit a raw nerve with you. Your assumptions about me are incorrect.

I don't believe my husband deserved to be thrown away by her then bled dry for every penny.

Melaniep101

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

It's a jealousy thing, she wants to poke her neb in yall's happiness;)


been there TWICE, could write a book. Stick to paying maintenance and for anything else ask for a list of what is required and buy it yourself
edited to add, don't give cash over to her, if she gets huffy you will know it's a con

Ah I see. I would have thought she would have got over it after 5 years! Not sure that's what's behind it...

Blackpool_Saver

Melaniep101 wrote: »

Ah I see. I would have thought she would have got over it after 5 years! Not sure that's what's behind it...

I hope I am wrong, anyway good luck, it's not easy. I have been on both sides, but always on the side of the children

olibrofiz

Melaniep101 wrote: »

Ah I see. I would have thought she would have got over it after 5 years! Not sure that's what's behind it...

Don't be so sure about that......

tinkerbell28

Melaniep101 wrote: »

I think my post may have hit a raw nerve with you. Your assumptions about me are incorrect.

I don't believe my husband deserved to be thrown away by her then bled dry for every penny.

Axe to grind? You can ignore most of it. Debts she's taken on since divorce= not your problem. Likewise her outgoings. It's child maintenance, not spousal.

I got uniform for 3 for £150.

A £30k mortgage will be in the region of £150 PCM.

You only have to look at entitled to and the benefits board to reach a rough figure.

£150 on top for uniform, is having a laugh. Why did she not stash away a bit a month towards it.

Blackpool_Saver

tinkerbell28 wrote: »

Axe to grind? You can ignore most of it. Debts she's taken on since divorce= not your problem. Likewise her outgoings. It's child maintenance, not spousal.

I got uniform for 3 for £150.

A £30k mortgage will be in the region of £150 PCM.

You only have to look at entitled to and the benefits board to reach a rough figure.

£150 on top for uniform, is having a laugh. Why did she not stash away a bit a month towards it.

I agree, BUT as always the man WILL do it as she has the power to withhold the kids, and before anyone says oh you can't do that, everyone knows that the courts don't hold the resident parent to any contact orders.....

Melaniep101

tinkerbell28 wrote: »

Axe to grind? You can ignore most of it. Debts she's taken on since divorce= not your problem. Likewise her outgoings. It's child maintenance, not spousal.

I got uniform for 3 for £150.

A £30k mortgage will be in the region of £150 PCM.

You only have to look at entitled to and the benefits board to reach a rough figure.

£150 on top for uniform, is having a laugh. Why did she not stash away a bit a month towards it.

Thanks Tinkerbell... Thought it was a harsh reaction!

Found out this evening that the total uniform bill was £300 but she was happy to split the bill in half... Not sure why she didn't ask a few weeks ago.