Husband's ex wife wanting more money

Mojisola

Pollycat wrote: »

going back to the original subject of your thread, do you think your OH would feel comfortable asking his ex to give more notice if she is intending asking for an additional contribution on top of the regular child maintenance?

Wouldn't that be like just opening his wallet to her - have what you what as long you give me warning in advance?

FBaby

Ironically, totally opposite to what a number of posters have felt reading this thread, I have found it incredibly refreshing to read your contribution and what a lovely step-mum you seem to be.

This was my biggest concern when I separated from my ex. My step-mum who married my dad when I was 8 was horrible towards me for years, mainly because she wanted my dad to take her and her daughter on and start a new family and didn't like me getting in the way. She made me feel totally unwelcome when I went to visit, often leading me to tears, and my dad stuck in the middle of us. Ironically, once I became an adult and a mum, we became closer and now get along fantastically, but she did darken my childhood. I didn't want that for my kids.

Their step-mum is thankfully nothing like this. I am disappointed that we don't share the same values at all when it comes to money, she was a single mum of school aged children claiming all the benefits possible and enjoying a decent life as such, and when she met my ex, expected him to take over. It is from that time that I saw the end of any maintenance. However, she genuinely care for my children and is totally fair to them, however, never tried to overstep her position over me. I am so grateful for this and is probably why I don't make that much a fuss about maintenance. I much much prefer a caring step-mum who I don't have to confront even if she has an influence on the money side of things.

Pollycat

Mojisola wrote: »

Wouldn't that be like just opening his wallet to her - have what you what as long you give me warning in advance?

I didn't actually mean it like that, Mojisola.

I can't see the OP and her OH not stepping to help financially (as they have done this time) in a similar situation.
My question was more aimed at letting the OP's OH's ex know that it's not acceptable to drop something like this on them with no notice again.

Mojisola

Pollycat wrote: »

I didn't actually mean it like that, Mojisola.

I can't see the OP and her OH not stepping to help financially (as they have done this time) in a similar situation.
My question was more aimed at letting the OP's OH's ex know that it's not acceptable to drop something like this on them with no notice again.

The ex might see it like that.

Pollycat

Mojisola wrote: »

The ex might see it like that.

Then I guess it's up to the OP and her OH to decide whether it's a good idea or not to say anything at all or to allow the ex to just drop a request for extra cash on them without any notice. :cool:

Prothet_of_Doom

FBaby wrote: »

How far away do they live? If he is 12, he will very soon be able to decide himself to come and see his dad when he wants to. If he is so concern about it I would suggest that HE takes his son to buy some uniform items and explaining that his mum should also be paying for some things as he provides a huge maintenance to be spent on his needs only.

Perfect.

Tell her to send a list of items required on the next visit, sit down and discuss money with him.