Husband's ex wife wanting more money

Melaniep101

Just wondered if I could ask you lovely people's opinion on a situation that has arisen this morning.

Background:

Me and hubby have been married for 18 months, together for 4 years. He has a son of 12 by his previous marriage (We met long after hubby got divorced so I wasn't involved in the breakup), ex wife was given the family home as part of the divorce settlement (hubby paid for the house/mortgage) and receives £450 per month child maintenance.

Ex wife works part time in a shop, whilst we both work full time in very stressful IT jobs in order to pay our huge mortgage and bills (modest house, but we could only get a 19 year mortgage due to hubby's age).

The ex wife has now been in touch to demand £150 for school uniform for their son - should this be down to us to fund?

I'm mad as hell as she's given us no notice, plus shouldn't this be down to her to budget for, given that my husband pays her a large chunk of money every month?

lolavix

Should come out of his child maintenance imo but maybe she thinks you have more disposable income!

paulineb_2

Does she get any other money coming in? Working tax credits, child tax credits, child benefit?

I dont think it should automatically fall to your husband to pay for his sons school uniform. Its not as if she didnt know he would be going back to school and unless hes at a school where the uniform has to be bought directly from them you can get school uniform for less than £150.

Im assuming she doesnt have a mortgage to pay going from the information in your opening paragraph

If he wants to make a contribution, fine, but I certainly dont think he should be asked to pay for it all and at very short notice.

Gigglepig

Unless your husband earns an extremely high income, 450 a month child maintenance sounds very reasonable, so if you don't have the money I don't think you should feel bad about saying no.

If the ex wife does not like it, perhaps they can go to a mediation session and both air their views, without it turning too confrontational.

Treevo

£450 is way more than a child costs each month, never mind her equal contribution so of course she should be paying for it.

Melaniep101

paulineb wrote: »

Does she get any other money coming in? Working tax credits, child tax credits, child benefit?

I dont think it should automatically fall to your husband to pay for his sons school uniform. Its not as if she didnt know he would be going back to school and unless hes at a school where the uniform has to be bought directly from them you can get school uniform for less than £150.

Im assuming she doesnt have a mortgage to pay going from the information in your opening paragraph

If he wants to make a contribution, fine, but I certainly dont think he should be asked to pay for it all and at very short notice.

Hi Paulineb

Yes, she also gets Child Benefit, and WTC, which is not affected by the amount of maintenance she receives. She also has her wages from her part time job. I believe she has a tiny mortgage remaining on a large 3/4 bed detached house (approx £30k) of which my husband paid the bulk of.

I think its unreasonable of her to a) demand it in the first place and b) give us no notice whatsoever.

Thanks for your help on this..

19lottie82

Melaniep101 wrote: »

Yes, she also gets Child Benefit, and WTC

If so then she should be able to claim a school uniform allowance.
Your local council website should have an application form.

tinkerbell28

She is having a laugh, practically mortgage free....getting wtc/ctc/chb on top of wages, she will be taking home probably approaching 2 grand a month with £450 child maintenance....what is she spending the money on? It doesn't sound like her child.

Melaniep101

tinkerbell28 wrote: »

She is having a laugh, practically mortgage free....getting wtc/ctc/chb on top of wages, she will be taking home probably approaching 2 grand a month with £450 child maintenance....what is she spending the money on? It doesn't sound like her child.

I know! I couldn't believe her cheek to be honest. My stepson always comes to us with clothes that are too small for him, and his school shoes on. Seems she wont even buy him a pair of decent trousers and trainers... We've bought him a load of new clothes that actually fit him and make him look like a young man. No idea where her money is going...

SingleSue

19lottie82 wrote: »

If so then she should be able to claim a school uniform allowance.
Your local council website should have an application form.

Dependant on area...our local council doesn't do it now and when they did, it was for the grand total of £15 and only when they were changing key stages.

I am a PWC, ex hubby doesn't contribute towards uniform and although it would be nice if he offered, I see the provision of it as down to me. Thank goodness there is only one uniform to buy this school year with middle son going into 6th form (no uniform required) and eldest off to University, so only youngest to worry about!

Cost me a blooming fortune last year but hey ho, that is what being a parent is about.

19lottie82

If you want to save an argument, I'd take the lad to Tesco (their school uniform quality is great IMO) and buy him 5 shirts / polo shirts, 3 pairs of trousers and 3 jumpers.

It will prob cost you £50 tops, leaving her to buy shoes and a new jacket.