Husband's ex wife wanting more money

paulineb_2

cazziebo wrote: »

Ex wife works part time in a shop, so probably close to minimum wage.

OP and partner work in highly stressful IT jobs so presumably well paid ones.

Ex wife bought out partner's share of home as part of settlement, and maintenance sum agreed of £450 pcm. If partner's salary is around £45-£50k (standard IT mid career role) then that seems reasonable amount.

Might get flamed here but I don't think it's reasonable to request some additional support for what might be deemed extraordinary expenses- especially as she is on a low income. (a one income household?) If partner was still married to child's mother he would be contributing. I do think it's unreasonable to ask with no notice.

Child maintenance should not be paying as little as you can get away with, it should be ensuring the child is as well cared for as possible.

Whatever, it's not your argument, OP. This is between the mother and father of the child. The access argument is a red herring - at 12 the boy will make up his own mind.

Well paid jobs but she said in the beginning they pay a big mortgage.

What people have after outgoings is also important. The woman is living in a house worth 300k, depending on where she is in the UK, she could downsize and buy something cheaper.

We also dont know that the ex wife bought out the partners share of the home, the OP posted that he paid for it and she only had to take out a 30k mortgage in order to pay the rest off

Its very possible that the ex wife could be better off than this couple even though they have better jobs

FBaby

Just one comment on the 'looking scruffy' comments because it comes up quite often, my children at times go to their dad looking what I myself would consider scruffy (well more my son, but my DD has gone there with holes in her tights etc...). It is not because they
don't have nice clothes, it's because they like to wear what they are most comfortable in and familiar with. I have often despaired seeing them just as I was dropping them off asking why they had to wear the clothes they had on! In my case, my ex doesn't pay any maintenance so can't really make comments but I can see how it would seem at times that I don't update their wardrobe but my bank balance certainly says differently!

FBaby

Ex wife works part time in a shop, so probably close to minimum wage.

She could work full-time maybe?

paulineb_2

She was given the home as part of the divorce settlement apparently.

red_devil

ask the son what he needs, dont give into blackmail, i agree at 12 anyway it wouldnt work.

FatVonD

cazziebo wrote: »

Whatever, it's not your argument, OP. This is between the mother and father of the child. The access argument is a red herring - at 12 the boy will make up his own mind.

This is the bit I thanked

shiny76

cazziebo wrote: »

Ex wife bought out partner's share of home as part of settlement, and maintenance sum agreed of £450 pcm. If partner's salary is around £45-£50k (standard IT mid career role) then that seems reasonable amount.

I wish you could convince my employers of that salary range!

Tiddlywinks

FBaby wrote: »

How far away do they live? If he is 12, he will very soon be able to decide himself to come and see his dad when he wants to. If he is so concern about it I would suggest that HE takes his son to buy some uniform items and explaining that his mum should also be paying for some things as he provides a huge maintenance to be spent on his needs only.

The child is 12 years old - he doesn't need to be caught in the middle of this argument / power struggle.

Yes, discuss it with the ex wife but NOT the child.

Guest101

paulineb wrote: »

She was given the home as part of the divorce settlement apparently.

Then the i presume she is solely named on the mortgage, and the husband should have no obligations to pay the mortgage? Doesnt quite sound right

its very rare for a house to be given to a sole party full stop

Guest101

Melaniep101 wrote: »

He paid the mortgage, bills, groceries etc for the duration of their marriage. When they divorced, she got the house , but I believe she had to take out a £30k mortage to pay it off. He had paid the majority off. He doesn't pay the mortgage now. House is probably worth £300k now.

Ok, strange, but not unheard of, i presume then he got equal assets elsewhere? Might just want to check the judgment of divorce