devastated as husband been "cheating" on me

spirit

rocketqueen wrote: »

Well last night he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow (im unsure as to whether he knew I was SO upset) so he's having no problem sleeping it would seem. this just annoyed me further....he hasn't apologised since Monday and I swear to god he's just thinking that he's got away with it and all will be fine if he keeps his mouth shut and doesn't mention it.

I am going to stay with a work colleague after work tomorrow evening (not going tonight as want time to sort out what I might need for few days - which sounds like an excuse I know.) I don't know whether to tell him I'm going or just not come home.

His "not really caring" attitude has driven me to this decision. If it drives him into her arms then at least I have my definite answer....

When he's nicely in the land of zzzzzzz, I would 'turn over and accidentally land my elbow in his ribs/back' a few times.

I'm not really surprised that he is burying his head in the sand and hoping that you will forgive/forget all about it. It kinda lets him off the hook.

For that reason, a few days away whether you tell him in advance or not, will do you the power of good. You can't really think straight all the time he is there.

CH27

rocketqueen wrote: »

Well last night he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow (im unsure as to whether he knew I was SO upset) so he's having no problem sleeping it would seem. this just annoyed me further....he hasn't apologised since Monday and I swear to god he's just thinking that he's got away with it and all will be fine if he keeps his mouth shut and doesn't mention it.

I am going to stay with a work colleague after work tomorrow evening (not going tonight as want time to sort out what I might need for few days - which sounds like an excuse I know.) I don't know whether to tell him I'm going or just not come home.

His "not really caring" attitude has driven me to this decision. If it drives him into her arms then at least I have my definite answer....

I think that some time away from him will give you chance to think clearly about your future.

redliketherose

Rocketqueen I hope you are alright, from your recent posts it does seem like he thinks he's 'gotten away with it'. He's caused this whole mess but you are the one still suffering - you need to turn this around.

DarlingBuds

Men do bury their heads in the sand and him being quiet about it is his way of not dealing with the problem.

Go to your friends and think what to do, but don't let it go. Sometimes they suddenly become 'forgetful' on what a mess they have just made.

One good thing is you aren't pregnant or already have a child. That would be a nightmare.

Big hugs xxxx

RuthnJasper

DarlingBuds wrote: »

Men do bury their heads in the sand and him being quiet about it is his way of not dealing with the problem.

Go to your friends and think what to do, but don't let it go. Sometimes they suddenly become 'forgetful' on what a mess they have just made.

One good thing is you aren't pregnant or already have a child. That would be a nightmare.

Big hugs xxxx

Wise words. x

rozmister

spirit wrote: »

When he's nicely in the land of zzzzzzz, I would 'turn over and accidentally land my elbow in his ribs/back' a few times.

I'm not really surprised that he is burying his head in the sand and hoping that you will forgive/forget all about it. It kinda lets him off the hook.

For that reason, a few days away whether you tell him in advance or not, will do you the power of good. You can't really think straight all the time he is there.

When my ex used to fall asleep next to me while I cried in bed I used to accidentally knee him in the back!! Evil I know but it made me feel a lot better.

OP I think you're doing the right thing going to a friends. It doesn't sound like he's fighting for your marriage, perhaps he doesn't realise the seriousness of the situation but if he's not prepared to fight for you you shouldn't settle for that. xxx

aileth

Honestly, sounds like this whole thing will turn out to be a blessing in disguise as you've seen his true colours and he obviously doesn't give a toss. You've found that out now before you were pregnant or had kids and that is a godsend.

Mojisola

redliketherose wrote: »

Rocketqueen I hope you are alright, from your recent posts it does seem like he thinks he's 'gotten away with it'. He's caused this whole mess but you are the one still suffering - you need to turn this around.

DarlingBuds wrote: »

Men do bury their heads in the sand and him being quiet about it is his way of not dealing with the problem.

I'd be tempted to print out the exchanges between them and stick them on the fridge or the bathroom mirror or somewhere else where he can't ignore them.

If he really understands what he's done, he would be devastated at how stupid he's been and how much he's upset you and how he's put his marriage at risk - it doesn't sound as if he all that worried.

peachyprice

spirit wrote: »

When he's nicely in the land of zzzzzzz, I would 'turn over and accidentally land my elbow in his ribs/back' a few times.

You'd be sleeping in the same bed as him?

itsanne

Mojisola wrote: »

I'd be tempted to print out the exchanges between them and stick them on the fridge or the bathroom mirror or somewhere else where he can't ignore them.

If he really understands what he's done, he would be devastated at how stupid he's been and how much he's upset you and how he's put his marriage at risk - it doesn't sound as if he all that worried.

Now that sounds like an excellent idea!