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Fathers access to my 8 month old baby
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pyjamadays wrote: »It's MY son, when he lived here for the first 12 weeks of his life he paid no attention to him, did nothing with him, never got up in the night or mornings. Slept all day or played his computer game, MY son didn't know him so always cried with him. So biologically he's our son...but as I have done every single thing for MY baby since the day he was born he will continue to be only MY son as far as I'm concerned.
It's been proven time and again that boys grow up happier, better adjusted, less likely to be involved in crime, more confident, have better relationships and do better at school if they have a positive male role model, preferably their own father.
You're judging your ex on twelve short weeks. That's a really short amount of time. It's also the first twelve weeks of your baby's life - a time when many, many men don't bond with their babies. Babies aren't really that interesting to most men, even doting fathers. Your ex has a lifetime to try to be a better father to his son and if you want the best for your child you'll do everything in your power to help that happen."Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell" - Edward Abbey.0 -
pyjamadays wrote: »Yes I meant gut!! I haven't ever left my son with anyone before so leaving him with his dad is out the question right now! Because its just been me & him along with my other 2 more grown up kids (who hate this guy) he's a very clingy baby & would be heartbroken if I were to leave him for an hour!
Oh dear God..
You will have to 'leave' him at some point.If you don't the 'clingyness' will not subside.
He would be heartbroken or you would be heartbroken?Who clings more?If women are birds and freedom is flight are trapped women Dodos?0 -
If we had split for other reason then it wouldn't bother me, my other children have regular contact with their dad. But because of the circumstances it's not as simple as me being bitter or anything like that. It's about doing what's right for my baby.0
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If you get this sorted properly, they will want to do what is best for the child, and if that is short 1 hour supervised contact that'll be what it is. If your son never gets a chance to see his Dad though he'l never know what it's like to be away from you. I say that very lightly as someone who isn't very often away from my own son
The frontier is never somewhere else. And no stockades can keep the midnight out.0 -
pyjamadays wrote: »No to be honest I don't want him to have any contact, also I said its been advised he has minimal anyway so that a bond doesn't develop.
Why would anyone not want a bond to develop?Why don't you want him to have contact?
Are you just trying to find excuses to justify no contact?If women are birds and freedom is flight are trapped women Dodos?0 -
I'd say that clingy babies are only this way because of the parents! ie:- not leaving them with anyone else, so they can get used to them.
It sounds to me like supervised contact is the only way.Striving to clear the mortgage before it finishes in Dec 2028 - amount currently owed - £26,322.670 -
pyjamadays wrote: »Yes I meant gut!! I haven't ever left my son with anyone before so leaving him with his dad is out the question right now! Because its just been me & him along with my other 2 more grown up kids (who hate this guy) he's a very clingy baby & would be heartbroken if I were to leave him for an hour!pyjamadays wrote: »No to be honest I don't want him to have any contact, also I said its been advised he has minimal anyway so that a bond doesn't develop.
Christ, you're really screwing him up. Sorry to be harsh, he's your kid and all that, but poor little sod..."Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell" - Edward Abbey.0 -
Why would anyone not want a bond to develop?Why don't you want him to have contact?
Are you just trying to find excuses to justify no contact?
Possibly because there are domestic abuse issues as mentioned in the first post ?
As Mums we are programed to protect our babies -if the OP feels (correctly or otherwise) that the NRP has no interest in the child -then not wanting contact especially with a baby rather than a child is entirely natural ...if perhaps not very practical.I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole
MSE Florida wedding .....no problem0 -
Possibly because there are domestic abuse issues as mentioned in the first post ?
This is such an overwhelmingly pertinent factor that I can't help thinking the OP is being deliberately vague.
If you believe your ex is a threat to you or your child, then you put it out there, in black and white in your first and any subsequent posts where it's relevant so that people fully understand the situation.
You don't allude to it now and then. Either he's a threat or he's not. If he's a threat, then a supervised access arrangement should be sort via the courts. So far, we just have a load of 'there were concerns' and 'he flirts and does my head in'.
OP, if you want some more useful and sympathetic advice, be clear about what's actually going on."Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell" - Edward Abbey.0 -
pyjamadays wrote: »No to be honest I don't want him to have any contact, also I said its been advised he has minimal anyway so that a bond doesn't develop.
Who advised this?Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.0
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