Politely setting boundaries with houseguests

miss_independent

Pmlindyloo - I'm single so no OH to back me up. Also, no kids so apparently it's fair game to be told, "If you had kids...you'd know."

I do the "goody bag" thing...never get a thank you. To be fair, its not the kid's fault, they have never been taught.

I just need to survive the next two weeks or so without blowing a gasket!



Also; my Mum has had similar experiences with them. When the kids started wandering through her house (all adults in living room, the kids whom she had never met started wandering about after 10 mins), she ran to discreetly lock her bedroom door to find oldest girl behind her saying, "Why are you looking that door?". My Mum said, "Children aren't allowed in the adult's bedrooms here." and she said, "That's what Miss I said. I think its really weird you won't let me see in your rooms. Miss I won't let me upstairs in her house. It's probably cos its dirty."

marisco_2

miss_independent wrote: »

When eldest was picking the wall paper off and on the third time I asked her to stop and used my firm "teacher" voice - he gave me this look that said, "You. Me. Outside Now!" :eek:

I am amazed that after treating you like this you even give this family the time of day. If he had treated me like that in front of a child that was damaging my home, he would have been ejected from my property quicker than he could blink. Quickly followed by his wife and kids and they would be dodging their suitcases as they were thrown at them out of every available window. There would be no 'may we come and stay, make sure you get this and that in for us'. They would know without a shadow of a doubt never to cross my path again.

Stand up for yourself Miss I, retain your sanity and cancel the invite. The worst that can happen is that they disown you and don't talk to you again. That would be a result surely.

quidsy

wow, how on earth do you manage kids at school acting like a total walk over?

Call your cousin, tell her your expectations, there is no reason to be nasty about it.

Or send her an email, say, really looking forward to seeing you blah blah, I'll have a shelf in the fridge & one in the cupdoard cleared for you to put your food stuff, also can you have a word with "whatever creepy kid is called" about not coming into my personal space uninvited , I was a bit put out in florida as she went through my stuff all the time & kept going into my rooms, but now she is older should be better at respecting my space & privacy.

Don't buy any treats or if you do put them in a high up cupboard where she can't reach.

If you cousin takes offense then it will be because they know you are right.

I personally wouldn't hesitate to tell off a kid staying in my house or being disrespectful to me & my home. Time to put your foot down. You are the grown up.

meritaten

miss_independent wrote: »

God. Just reading everything back, I realise what a complete idiot I am. What. A. Mug.

no - just a very nice person who is giving them one chance and one chance only to 'redeem' themselves! aren't you?

hun, a lot can change in a year including people! please don't dread this holiday - instead, make out lists of interesting places for them to go using your local knowledge - tell them the best pubs for meals etc. advise seeing the 'dawn or sunset' from a local vantage point - behave like you are employed by the local visitor centre - keep them out, keep them busy and tire the bu99ers out!

RAS

miss_independent wrote: »

Also; my Mum has had similar experiences with them. When the kids started wandering through her house (all adults in living room, the kids whom she had never met started wandering about after 10 mins), she ran to discreetly lock her bedroom door to find oldest girl behind her saying, "Why are you looking that door?". My Mum said, "Children aren't allowed in the adult's bedrooms here." and she said, "That's what Miss I said. I think its really weird you won't let me see in your rooms. Miss I won't let me upstairs in her house. It's probably cos its dirty."

So have a reply handy, "Because in my family we respect one another's privacy."

paulineb_2

I think you also need to let go of the crap they have put you through in the past

Youve allowed them in your home despite them taking advantage

So you either cancel, tell them all plans are off and they find a B and B

Or allow them to stay this time and make it the very last

miss_independent

To add, my house doesn't need decorating. The whole place was revamped 2.5 years ago and people are very complimentary about it when they visit. It's like a show home, I'm single and OCD about cleaning lol!

She was just being a little madam.

paulineb_2

quidsy wrote: »

wow, how on earth do you manage kids at school acting like a total walk over?

Call your cousin, tell her your expectations, there is no reason to be nasty about it.

Or send her an email, say, really looking forward to seeing you blah blah, I'll have a shelf in the fridge & one in the cupdoard cleared for you to put your food stuff, also can you have a word with "whatever creepy kid is called" about not coming into my personal space uninvited , I was a bit put out in florida as she went through my stuff all the time & kept going into my rooms, but now she is older should be better at respecting my space & privacy.

Don't buy any treats or if you do put them in a high up cupboard where she can't reach.

If you cousin takes offense then it will be because they know you are right.

I personally wouldn't hesitate to tell off a kid staying in my house or being disrespectful to me & my home. Time to put your foot down. You are the grown up.

Because sometimes people can behave in a manner in the classroom or elsewhere and have authority but outside are soft hearted

Harder to deal with pushy family members for some people

Ms_Chocaholic

I've got a great plan; tell your cousin and her family that they can't come to stay. Your long lost great aunt twice removed, Ms Chocaholic is coming to stay for 10 days.

I am house trained, a little bit OCD, I'll be a whole lot less bother than those lot.

Mojisola

As they have booked flights (are you sure they couldn't have found a way of affording a holiday at home?) and you are stuck with them, I'd be thinking about booking a holiday cottage for them to go to - without you.

You could meet up with them for an odd day here and there and that way maybe stay on good terms with them.

Honestly, if they stay with you, I'll be watching the papers for headlines - "Teacher runs amok after visitors drive her to distraction!"