Politely setting boundaries with houseguests

Caroline_a

miss_independent wrote: »

Hell no! I choose how I want to spend christmas, I don't want any houseguests and I am actually spending christmas abroad this year, no joke. It's already booked and I'm not changing it.

Hoorah!!!!!

MrsAtobe

lostinrates wrote: »

I should imagine they'll say that's fine, just to leave the house keys with your parents.....who can collect them from the airport and drop them off at your place:rotfl:

LiR beat me to it, I can see this happening too. Although I expect your mum may not be quite so accommodating now that she's seen them in action.

Caroline_a

Just a thought, OP. Don't tell them where you're going at Christmas... or they may turn up there!

supermezzo

Don't tell them you are away at Xmas, or as others have said, they will just ask for keys. Tell them you have friends staying with you, so no room at the inn (apt, I suppose). Tell them this as they leave tomorrow. Just drop into conversation 'you mentioned Xmas yesterday - I have plans already when friends are coming from abroad to stay here'. That's all you need to say. If pushed, keep repeating, 'I already have plans with friends who will be staying here with me'.

And next time they TELL you that they are coming to stay, say it isn't convenient. Keep saying it. If they do decide to whinge about it to others, they will find themselves in a sticky situation, as the others will ask why you never find it convenient to have them stay again.

globetraveller

I know it will be easier to deal with this latest demand once they have gone but I wouldn't say you are going away at Christmas as the excuse, even though it's true. The fact that they would have an extra bedroom to use will make it even more attractive for them. And would you be happy leaving your house- for all you know they will turn up and demand mum gives them your keys.

Perhaps you need to sort this once and for all. Email your cousin with exactly why you don't want them back in your house. An email is better because you can spend a long time thinking about the wording. If you don't, you may get away with Christmas but then there is next summer. I know you have said earlier they are not that bad people really but I haven't heard anything redeeming at all, You can choose your friends......

aileth

Hahahahaha at the christmas suggestion. "Oh, so you're going away? That's good, then we can stay at your house, right?" Bloody hell they are really thick-headed. When they leave, say to them that are not welcome at christmas and you will do what you want before closing the door on them.

I also can't believe little madam managed to get her parent's bed all to herself?! No wonder she's such a brat!

Lara44

Just say something vague like you're not available at Christmas and leave it at that. No need to give them any details.

Hope you're enjoying a break now OP. Can't believe the daughter put her parents out of their double bed :eek:

Caroline_a

Anyone seen National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation??? :rotfl::rotfl: OP, probably isnt funny at all to you, but you have to keep saying no, no, no, no....

globetraveller

Also- email immediately as they will no doubt book flights asap seeing as they have already told you they are coming.
Don't be worrying about what the other relatives are saying- they will know why you said no. Infact if they are annoyed it is only because they are going to frightened that they are your cousin's next holiday destination.:rotfl:Life if is too short to worry about how to deal with ignorant relatives.

Any

I can't see the OP saying NO to Christmas given her actions so far... she will just let them walk all over her...

What kind of family is this anyway? They behave like they are entitled like they are a queen or something but they don't wash regularly???

Eh?

Advice to the OP - if you feel like you cannot deal with them again and you know you let them talk you into next visit again, never ever contact them or respond again. Pretend you died.

Because I have the feeling that while you have a strong feeling you are not letting them in at Christmas so far they talked you virtually into anything they wanted you to do...

I cannot believe you didn't react immediately when he said about Christmas????