To text or not to text? That is the question

KxMx

paulineb wrote: »

Its easy enough to block a number on most mobiles and if your mobile cant, you can download a free app called SMS blocker

I dont give out my mobile number to anyone new unless Ive got to know them pretty well.

I can't block a number on my mobile and it's not a smartphone so i'd have to go through the hassle of contacting my network.

Even if I blocked the number they could always ring/text from another number and generally be a nuisance. Would not want that on my main phone, no way.

That's why I have a cheap payg with vociemail turned off and a junk email address!

Would never ever give out my main number or email upon first contact, i'm surprised people do frankly.

I'm sorry OP that it didn't work out, online dating can be pot luck. I was in touch via a website with three nice guys, when my free trial ended after a month none of them ever contacted me again despite me letting them know a couple times I was leaving and giving my email (and one even re-joined under another free trial to contact me again while I was on there). Yet my Mum goes online dating she soon has three guys literally fighting over her, dates, flowers the works! Now she thinks that happens for everyone online dating I put her straight!

paulineb_2

DUTR wrote: »

Even with the free trial ones the contact was restricted, usually the free bit, meant you could search, but once you tried to make contact then the request for payment came along.
Members can/should do their own filtering, on a popular fishing site for instance , some of the ladies look pretty enough to walk down the street and meet a guy (who's available) , so to me they are either fake or don't have a personality that is palatable for too long :eek:

Or maybe its tough once you get to a certain age to meet people and your friends are all paired off. Being pretty doesnt mean you'll attract people, even on a night out.

Ive met people through that site, but the people I met who Ive had lasting friendships with have been women, who Ive met up with through site meets and am still in touch with 4 years on and we go out fairly regularly.

Im not fake and Im not without personality, I came out of a long term relationship a few years ago and I found it hard to meet people, also because I live in a fairly small town where the highlight of peoples social life is the local wetherspoon.

[Deleted User]

DUTR wrote: »

Even with the free trial ones the contact was restricted, usually the free bit, meant you could search, but once you tried to make contact then the request for payment came along.
Members can/should do their own filtering, on a popular fishing site for instance , some of the ladies look pretty enough to walk down the street and meet a guy (who's available) , so to me they are either fake or don't have a personality that is palatable for too long :eek:

Im on a popular fishing site and im pretty enough to walk down the street etc etc, but i don't get to meet guys as all my friends are in relationships and don't want to go out as much and i don't like meeting men on the rare nights out i do get as most are drinking way to much or are on lads nights out themselves.
I don't get to meet guys at work as im there to do my job.
I don't feel comfortable going into a bar by myself either and at my age i don't have the large circle of single friends i did have when i was single when i was younger.
But im not fake and i do have a personality and am on the site to meet a genuine man.

DUTR

paulineb wrote: »

Or maybe its tough once you get to a certain age to meet people and your friends are all paired off. Being pretty doesnt mean you'll attract people, even on a night out.

Ive met people through that site, but the people I met who Ive had lasting friendships with have been women, who Ive met up with through site meets and am still in touch with 4 years on and we go out fairly regularly.

Im not fake and Im not without personality, I came out of a long term relationship a few years ago and I found it hard to meet people, also because I live in a fairly small town where the highlight of peoples social life is the local wetherspoon.

I get ya, don't necessarily agree with the age thing though, and I didn't mean all are fake, the 'my kind of prettiest' I have had contact with on the site is also the nicest or appears to be, lives walking distance from me although we have not physically met.
One had made me supper last weekend,
but I still standby users should do their own filtering and make their own mind up .

Brighton_belle

ImDoingItForMe wrote: »

Its all a learning curve, have fun and be light hearted about it all.

I do think this is great advice, but some people just find this sort of thing that much harder. You can do all the self awareness work in the world but this dating malarkey still can trick the vulnerable switch.
OP - well done for starting on the dating trail. I'm confident you'll feel better about his txt in a day or so if not sooner. I really wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't the sort of scam that another poster alluded too. However, with internet dating, there are also men and women who just enjoy hooking someone but have no intention of meeting up/ a relationship.

Next time you'll know, that pretty words and a compatible manner are so easy to put on when you have no intention of meeting. You'll not invest too much into it until you get to know the real person in person.
Also beware the type who does definitely arrange something but at the last minute has family emergency and then begs your forgiveness and then re arranges only for the bus to break down etc. Don't give away to much personal info online - it really could be anyone on the other end...including a genuine nice bloke of course.

I do personally have a friend who met a lovely man through internet dating and is now married to them. And she definitely had to go through a few frogs first.

EDIT - just found an article I read recently that may help anyone giving online dating a go to perhaps not get too personal online:
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/jul/07/hoaxer-who-breaks-womens-hearts?INTCMP=SRCH

MrsE_2

ImDoingItForMe wrote: »

Im on a popular fishing site and im pretty enough to walk down the street etc etc, but i don't get to meet guys as all my friends are in relationships and don't want to go out as much and i don't like meeting men on the rare nights out i do get as most are drinking way to much or are on lads nights out themselves.
I don't get to meet guys at work as im there to do my job.
I don't feel comfortable going into a bar by myself either and at my age i don't have the large circle of single friends i did have when i was single when i was younger.
But im not fake and i do have a personality and am on the site to meet a genuine man.

Thats it, you get to a certain age when even if you could go to nightclubs to meet men, would you want a middle aged man who frequented nightclubs!
Work is for working, many places frown on relationships between employees.
I'm 45 just broken up with my boyfriend, hardly any of my friends are single, even if they were I don't want a many who spends all his time in pubs or clubs:eek:

paulineb_2

Well speaking as someone who is 44, its been harder to have a social life because a lot of my friends settled down and paired off in their 20s and the people I am friendly with now are mostly women who have married young, split up with people fairly recently.

In my late teens and 20s I was out every weekend because my friends were single and its easier to meet people who are in the same situation, ie single.

The thing is about any dating site, it can be like the kid in the sweet shop thing, not everyone are as they seem, but it would be the same if you met them in real life

Some people have met people through sites and are really happy with them, but dating is pot luck generally, I take it with a pinch of salt, if I meet someone I meet them and if I dont, I dont.

fluffnutter

paulineb wrote: »

Or maybe its tough once you get to a certain age to meet people and your friends are all paired off.

Just wait a few years and they'll all be getting divorced

[Deleted User]

I agree with Brighton Belle 100%.
I at first used to think, ooo hes messaging me, he likes me, he wants to date me, want to be in a relationship with me. All wrong, wrong, wrong things to think and the wrong attitude to have.
Ive been knocked back lots of times and ive knocked back a few as well.
In the end it comes down to if a guy/girl is interested then they will contact you and actions speak louder than words.
Remember it is a dating site and hes probably messaging lots of women.
I didn't like the idea of that at all, but now i message a few guys at a time.
After all if you are looking for a potential long term relationship, then filtering out and getting to know what you do and don't want takes time and patience.

SuzieSue

fluffnutter wrote: »

Just wait a few years and they'll all be getting divorced

Yes, that is true. My husband got divorced at 48 and that was when I met him.