To text or not to text? That is the question

[Deleted User]

Im 48, often said to me i do look a lot younger than 48.
I get messages from men that are 38 just split from their partners/wives etc wanting fun, (flattering in a way)
Men who are getting divorced who want no commitment.
Men in there late 50s or 60s, i could go on and on with unsuitable ideals but you get the point.

But filtering is the name of the game... Stick to what you want and don't compromise.

DUTR

ImDoingItForMe wrote: »

I agree with Brighton Belle 100%.
I at first used to think, ooo hes messaging me, he likes me, he wants to date me, want to be in a relationship with me. All wrong, wrong, wrong things to think and the wrong attitude to have.
Ive been knocked back lots of times and ive knocked back a few as well.
In the end it comes down to if a guy/girl is interested then they will contact you and actions speak louder than words.
Remember it is a dating site and hes probably messaging lots of women.
I didn't like the idea of that at all, but now i message a few guys at a time.
After all if you are looking for a potential long term relationship, then filtering out and getting to know what you do and don't want takes time and patience.

Either gender 'has to' message several people, not all will respond and you can't put all your hopes on one horse. I'm dissapointed with the lack of tact the guy had replied to the OP.

paulineb_2

fluffnutter wrote: »

Just wait a few years and they'll all be getting divorced

Ha, some of my friends were married and divorced by the age of 23.

marisco_2

toffeentom wrote: »

I was rejected - had a text back within minutes just saying 'don't think so (and my name)

Sounds like you have had a lucky escape. If someone can be that blunt and nasty they are lacking somewhat in social skills. He would probably have bored you senseless had you met. Onwards and upwards OP, better things will come your way soon

Funky_Bold_Ribena

I'd have texted back something along the lines of 'Cool; I was going to have to move it anyway as something's come up - have a great Sunday'.

DUTR

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

I'd have texted back something along the lines of 'Cool; I was going to have to move it anyway as something's come up - have a great Sunday'.

No point, just shows you were annoyed or dissapointed.

toffee'n'tom

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

I'd have texted back something along the lines of 'Cool; I was going to have to move it anyway as something's come up - have a great Sunday'.

I didn't text back - just deleted the number . We're all different though in the way we deal with things. Some may just shrug it it off and others get really beaten up about it. Think I'm a bit in the middle - but feeling a bit vulnerable at the moment. Thinking out loud but won;t do it - all I'm feeling at the moment is texting the guy who dumped me and telling him how much I'm missing him. Totally wrong thing to do and I won't do it but that's how I'm feeling.

[Deleted User]

toffeentom wrote: »

I didn't text back - just deleted the number . We're all different though in the way we deal with things. Some may just shrug it it off and others get really beaten up about it. Think I'm a bit in the middle - but feeling a bit vulnerable at the moment. Thinking out loud but won;t do it - all I'm feeling at the moment is texting the guy who dumped me and telling him how much I'm missing him. Totally wrong thing to do and I won't do it but that's how I'm feeling.

Then its good that you have deleted his number..
I used to pin my hopes on one guy at a time, i learnt the hard way that a lot on these sites don't.
If your feeling vulnerable why not just message a few guys but don't have any expectations.
Hard as it is if you cant face rejection then maybe your not ready to date (a good friend told me this when i felt the same way as you now)
Its all a learning curve about yourself... Harsh sometimes but you wouldn't want to meet this guy further down the line when he did what he did.
Have faith...

Funky_Bold_Ribena

DUTR wrote: »

No point, just shows you were annoyed or dissapointed.

No it doesn't! FYI some people do have lives outside of trying to get laid

DUTR

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

No it doesn't! FYI some people do have lives outside of trying to get laid

Ok, I can't speak for everyone, if somebody messaged me that, then thats the sort of lines I would be thinking.