Does my Mum love me? (not respecting fear of stuff)

System

Mojisola wrote: »

No, I'm not but you're forgetting all the posts that have tried to tell you that giving in to your phobia will not help you - you need to sort out the problem!

I know what you mean and I agree. But while I'm getting help from a specialist, why can she just not stop putting me through hell, I honestly feel like I want to die in my sleep

jellyhead

early20s wrote: »

I know what you mean and I agree. But while I'm getting help from a specialist, why can she just not stop putting me through hell, I honestly feel like I want to die in my sleep

Does your therapist know that you feel like this? Can you get an earlier appointment to talk about it?

Mojisola

early20s wrote: »

I know what you mean and I agree. But while I'm getting help from a specialist, why can she just not stop putting me through hell, I honestly feel like I want to die in my sleep

Why don't you change what you do - like others have suggested - such as get in the bathroom early before her.

thorsoak

early20s wrote: »

I know what you mean and I agree. But while I'm getting help from a specialist, why can she just not stop putting me through hell, I honestly feel like I want to die in my sleep

She is not putting you through hell - she is trying to condition you to live in the real world. Does your specialist not point this out to you?


How do you manage financially? Is your mother supporting you?

LouLou

As someone who has lived through agoraphobia, very bad depression and still deals with avoidance (panic attacks) in certain social situations, I know only too well what this deep pit of despair feels like; and how it skews your thinking. Yes, it can make you selfish, self obsessed, but I like to think I have the self awareness to hide away or try not to encroach on others when I'm at my worst, as the thought of others suffering along with me isn't fair (I isolate myself a lot at times).

One thing strikes me though, from the OP's posts: why would you wish mental illness on another? Why would you want your mother to change for you?

I can't help but see a petulant child coming through from your posts. I know if I was a mother I would absolutely empathise, but I would want to encourage independence and resilience too.

I really do hope you can get better, slowly but surely, and also try to take on board the effect your behaviours and opinions have on others?

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, it's not meant to be.

System

so if you had a children, you would be fine with them locking themselves in their room, having panic attacks and thinking about suicide... you would not think it would be a good idea to stop using the things they had a fear of until they were "cured" by the psychologist.

And how said it is that I have to say cured. Because these smells were created by man to make money. It is the people who use them that need cured

CH27

CH27 wrote: »

OP how do you cope at work?

Why won't you answer this question OP?

System

CH27 wrote: »

Why won't you answer this question OP?

don't want to reveal job. Although I cope because its "back room" work - no customer - and I only work with 1 other person who doesn't wear perfume/smoke.

CH27

early20s wrote: »

don't want to reveal job. Although I cope because its "back room" work - no customer - and I only work with 1 other person who doesn't wear perfume/smoke.

How do you get to work?
How do you shop?

peachyprice

early20s wrote: »

so if you had a children, you would be fine with them locking themselves in their room, having panic attacks and thinking about suicide... you would not think it would be a good idea to stop using the things they had a fear of until they were "cured" by the psychologist.

But your therapist cannot 'cure' you without exposure to normal living, surely they have told you that.

If your mother stopped using everything that triggered a phobic reaction and that led to you feeling that you were then 'cured' what do you think is going to happen when she goes back to leading a normal life? Avoidance is not a cure.

And how said it is that I have to say cured. Because these smells were created by man to make money. It is the people who use them that need cured

It's not the first time you've posted something like this. Do you actually have a phobia or are you making a political statement? You seem to be confusing the two