What's going on in this man's head?

True_Blue_3

Some people do take a long time to decide their feelings for someone though, especially if they are still mourning the loss of an old relationship? There isn't always an instant want for a relationship with someone, feelings can grow and change, for no reason whatsoever. He may like you and might be waiting for feelings to develop, and probably doesn't want to 'commit' until he knows for sure. Well I've been in that exact same situation so that's how I can look at it.

It depends how long you are willing to be played along though. Id suggest telling him straight a sexual relationship is off limits to you, unless it is exclusive.

[Deleted User]

ACTIONS speak louder than words...
Ive had my fill of two guys that done this to me.
Long story short, one had just come out of a relationship very recently when I had met him. He said he wanted to be with me in a relationship. Fast forward 6weeks down the line and he then said he was getting too involved and didn't want to be at this time of his life....
I walked away, as fast as I could. He kept contacting me for 9months on and off. Asking me for coffee etc. I turned him down until curiousity got the better of me and I did meet him again for a coffee and chat. He said he wanted to see me again, I wasn't sure, but I wanted to see how I felt, as this wasn't all about how he felt.
Im glad I did because, he was still the same, very wishy-washy, didn't know what he wanted.
At the end of the night he said he would like to see me again.
Do you know what I said. "Im sorry, but at the time I really did like you and yes I wanted a relationship with you, just like you said you did me. But now im glad I didn't, because your actions weren't the same as what was coming out of your mouth. There not now really are they. If you did like me and didn't know what you wanted, then I couldn't of meant that much to you in the first place, because I know how I felt. Shame you feel differently now but it wont work. Sorry.
Nine months and I had actually changed and wasn't going to be used again. Because OP this is what he is doing. Very manipulative as well. He doesn't want you, but doesn't want anyone else to be with you. Move on. You deserve better. Watch his ACTIONS, what are they saying to you?

System

ACTIONS speak louder than words...

So very true.

~Chameleon~

Judi wrote: »

So very true.

Don't wish to be rude but your avi and sig are very well matched :rotfl:

System

~Chameleon~ wrote: »

Don't wish to be rude but your avi and sig are very well matched

It might be too early in a morning and i'm a little dense at times but whats that supposed to mean?

[Deleted User]

I think this friend of yours is what I call 'not fully cooked'. He doesn't know what he wants. He plays with the idea of having a relationship (hence the crying and we'll buy this house together) but as has been mentioned, is playing at relationships with you whilst making damn sure he isn't in one.

Now, if both people are happy at playing this kind of game, no harm done.

But if they're not.., it won't work. Someone is going to get hurt and be a 'victim'.

What is it about you that thinks its ok to be treated like this? I accept that part of you knows this isn't right but it alway takes two to create a 'victim' situation. Someone has to agree to be a victim (got the t-shirt, not preaching from a pulpit on high here).

Please think about this. And figure out what you want.., accept nothing less. Its better to be on your own and not being hurt than in this kind of situation. The odds aren't going in your favour, you know that.