What's going on in this man's head?

ValHaller

dilemma10 wrote: »

He has gone out tonight but he's been texting and asked me if I had a good night, I simply replied 'Not bad, been to see somebody" and he does not seem to have liked the response as he replied "Ok mate...etc", I just can't win?

Oh gosh, you handled that with all the aplomb of a 14 year old. After that, if you have a relationship with him which goes anywhere, it will be a relationship appropriate to 14 year olds.

The upside of this is you know not to bother

Prothet_of_Doom

I'm getting old, I must be. From a bloke's point of view:


Within weeks of meeting him, you were sleeping withhim. What fun is that ? Men love thechase, the thought that one day, maybe soon if we offer some solid long termcommitment then maybe it will happen.

With my wife we waited some years, and had made serious longterm commitments and promises (both emotional and financial) and we kneweverything about each other, both good and bad, survived a couple of breakups,before that happened. We had a joint bank account and a house beforewe had sex. We’ve been married 23 years,now, and I first asked her out 29 years ago. As a bloke, I probably wouldn’t have chosen to wait, but I’m glad wedid.



My solution for the OP is to just be friends, be polite, goout as friends occasionally, ask for his DIY help if you need it, offer to cooka meal in return (like friends do) but make it clear that you are onlyfriends. And look for romance elsewhere,but be a bit less impatient with the physical side,.

VestanPance

He broke up with his girlfriend not long before you started hanging out together. Chances are you're the rebound.

Simple as that, he's probably not looking for commitment and while he enjoys his time with you he's not looking or thinking long term. The fact he's said you both should 'stop' is most likely due to he has picked up that you are looking for something more from your time together than he is.

duchy

VestanPance wrote: »

He broke up with his girlfriend not long before you started hanging out together. Chances are you're the rebound.

Simple as that, he's probably not looking for commitment and while he enjoys his time with you he's not looking or thinking long term. The fact he's said you both should 'stop' is most likely due to he has picked up that you are looking for something more from your time together than he is.

This

He was in a ten year relationship- He is scared stiff of getting hurt again.
Even if you are the right person -it's currently the wrong time.
If you continue now odds are it'll fall apart as at this point you want different things............If you can stay friends (not f*ck buddies) then maybe later you will both be on the same page and can have a proper relationship.

Talk to him .... Tell him you feel the timing is wrong and why-and see what he says. (Assuming you DO want more and aren't just miffed cos he "shold" want more - even if you don't).

Bufger

He's having his cake and eating it.

Tell him he either makes the cake official or he goes hungry.

bitemebankers

VestanPance wrote: »

He broke up with his girlfriend not long before you started hanging out together. Chances are you're the rebound.

Simple as that, he's probably not looking for commitment and while he enjoys his time with you he's not looking or thinking long term. The fact he's said you both should 'stop' is most likely due to he has picked up that you are looking for something more from your time together than he is.

This, exactly. And he's right, of course. Rebound relationships almost never work out and if you did get serious with him, it would most likely end in tears. Why not just keep it light-hearted? Enjoy some good times together and the odd bonk? Or if you can't do that, walk away and keep your distance. In any case, the last thing you want is a relationship with this guy - that's what he's trying to tell you.

sukysue

You are being used . It's not nice what he is doing he is playing you. Get rid of him before he damages your self esteem.Good Luck op.

Voyager2002

It's perfectly simple: the two of you want different things. He obviously likes and values you, but that is as far as it goes. Move on or get hurt.

neverdespairgirl

I think it's really simple, and exactly what he's said, really - he likes you, enjoys spending time with you, and wants to have sex with you, but doesn't want to be committed in any way at all.

glossgal

"He also admitted to crying when we did not talk for a week..."

Why has nobody picked up on this? Not only is it a) cobblers but b) pretty sinister and manipulative.

Run run run!!