What's going on in this man's head?

justme111

Lostinrates , when I did not want someone for a relationship I watched my actions close so that I behave.consistently at all times. It would been very easy.to pull strung here and there far more subtly than "why don't we buy that house" to keep them around hoping. I believe it is a duty of any.person who cares about one who wants them more than other way around. What this guy is doing is precisely wanting his cake and eating it by what the op says. For examine when.there is a misleading advertisement it is a responsibility of a buyer to verify it but at the same time people who place.that advertisement are far from being just charming , they are calculatingly selfish despite not saying anything formally.wrong their advertisement is designed to convey the wrong impression. Of course it is not.so clear cut I..romantic issues as some part.of it may.indeed fantasize about buying a house together but I would never have dreamt of.saying it to a person who wanted a relationship withe while I did not , it is plain cruel.
I used to keep in touch with one.of my exes who I.liked and who did not wan.t me , as a friend. What eventually irked me was him constantly reminiscing in times we had together before. He obviously was completely wrapped up in himself and did.not think about me and how not right it was talking about past in a new friends lay out. Similar in op's situation the guy does jot seek.to.hve emotional.capacity to think how could she take his words and just indulges in whatever comes into his mind at a time.

*max*

justme111 wrote: »

Lostinrates , when I did not want someone for a relationship I watched my actions close so that I behave.consistently at all times. It would been very easy.to pull strung here and there far more subtly than "why don't we buy that house" to keep them around hoping. I believe it is a duty of any.person who cares about one who wants them more than other way around. What this guy is doing is precisely wanting his cake and eating it by what the op says. For examine when.there is a misleading advertisement it is a responsibility of a buyer to verify it but at the same time people who place.that advertisement are far from being just charming , they are calculatingly selfish despite not saying anything formally.wrong their advertisement is designed to convey the wrong impression. Of course it is not.so clear cut I..romantic issues as some part.of it may.indeed fantasize about buying a house together but I would never have dreamt of.saying it to a person who wanted a relationship withe while I did not , it is plain cruel.
I used to keep in touch with one.of my exes who I.liked and who did not wan.t me , as a friend. What eventually irked me was him constantly reminiscing in times we had together before. He obviously was completely wrapped up in himself and did.not think about me and how not right it was talking about past in a new friends lay out. Similar in op's situation the guy does jot seek.to.hve emotional.capacity to think how could she take his words and just indulges in whatever comes into his mind at a time.

I'm sorry, what?

thistledome

glossgal wrote: »

"He also admitted to crying when we did not talk for a week..."

Why has nobody picked up on this? Not only is it a) cobblers but b) pretty sinister and manipulative.

Run run run!!

/\ This.

I'm amazed that anyone thinks he really did cry! He's just cynically playing on OP's feelings. More likely he was gutted that his sac wasn't emptied for a week.

dilemma10 wrote: »

Thank you guys for your comments, all very difficult to take in. I accept I have also been rather immature .

Last night we went to the pub for some drinks and had a takeaway together.

He sat in the bar quite confused and said he was lost. At one point he had tears in his eyes...? I asked him what was wrong he did not respond with much.

Later on we were walking back and he said 'I don't want to hurt you Gemma, give me a hug' and then he said 'Look at these houses, we should get one together'. It's all mind games isn't it?

May I add a guy chatted me up at the bar and asked me if he was my husband/boyfriend/brother, I said none of those so he came up to our table. My neighbour was not best impressed!

ARGH!

Of course he's not impressed. If you found a real boyfriend, he'd be Billy No-Shags.

OP, if you want no-strings sex with a neighbour then carry on; you're both single adults. But if you want a relationship, this isn't the man for you. He doesn't want one.

paddedjohn

OP, what exactly is your problem? you get what you want aswell.

Where do you live by the way? any places to rent next door?:D

Kynthia

justme111 wrote: »

when I did not want someone for a relationship I watched my actions close so that I behave.consistently at all times. It would been very easy.to pull strung here and there far more subtly than "why don't we buy that house" to keep them around hoping.

I agree with this. While the guy is being honest saying that he doesn't want a relationship, it seems that he's also deliberately sending conflicting messages knowing that the OP wants more. Telling her he was crying when she wasn't around and that maybe one day they'd buy a house together is manipulative and deliberately giving the OP false hope of a future relationship.

justme111

*max* wrote: »

I'm sorry, what?

Late night some wine and touch phone typing
Sorry
You can look at it as if it was a riddle , I believe sense still could be made of it

the_pink_panther_2

I agree with others saying this guy is deliberately sending out mixed messages. He has been clear about not wanting a relationship, so then why does he CHOOSE to tell OP he cried when they were apart and discuss finding a place together. It's selfish unfair behaviour; in no way is this thinking about OP's needs at all.

dilemma10

As an update guys this is really going nowhere!
Especially made worse and reinforced by the fact I've been looking after my parent's dog this week and he has made no effort to come up to my flat - knowing full well I've got a boisterous animal to look after! I was invited in to the restaurant with his 5 mates the other day but he gave me 10 minutes to accept the offer and turn up - I could have been in my pyjamas for all he knew...

We are just going round in circles!

liney

Tell me you didn't accept that invitation. Please say you aren't making yourself so available.

System

We are just going round in circles!

Sometimes you just have to break the chain and be damned about the consequences.:(

It will drive you potty otherwise.