I am not putting my darling kids thorough D.I.V.O.R.C.E

Person_one

paulineb wrote: »

Never heard so much nonsense in all my life

Have to agree with you there.

Boasting about cheating on this particular board definitely makes the old trolldar 'ding'. Great way to get a reaction.

Dunroamin

moneysaymoneydo wrote: »

Hi,

Just curious how many are in unhappy relationships/marriages yet stay together for the sake of the kids, ie. not entirely happy but would rather be 80% happy than put their kids through some of the break ups we read of on this thread on a daily basis.
.

80% happy strikes me as a pretty good percentage for anyone!

FBaby

mmmm, was your latest stray recent? It strikes to me that your couple has been going through trouble, you cheated, somehow he either forgave (if he found out), or you've decided to give your marriage a go. You equal this to happiness as everything is wonderful once the guilt and worry go away. And because you've somehow managed to move on from the affairs, you see it that you've been strong for the benefit of your children.

Personally, I think it makes you extremely lucky. Whatever the reasons that made your husband stay, good luck to him. Being cheated on three times and still trusting your partner, I can't see what else than desperation of foolishness would make you stay. Unless you do the same, in which case, surely no one would think this is good for children, especially when they get a bit older and know exactly what is going on.

aileth

Hahahahaha!!! I just came to the end of the thread to make a post regarding the OP and had to go back through and read it all! Wonder if OH knows about straying three times. Best leave out a referral card to the sex clinic in plain view for him

System

Originally Posted by moneysaymoneydo
Oh don't you worry Padstow I am under no illusions trust me and if he does do the dirty (as I have three times)(well once a 1 night stand) would I leave or forgive for the sake of the kids!

For goodness sake if your going to cheat make sure he's worth it. Since you've cheated 3 times, they (or you) obviously weren't.

Jeez some people!:mad:

pixo

My parents should of split up. I spent most of my childhood surrounded by arguments and debris from the arguments (my mother had a passion for throwing things.. chairs.. mirrors etc). They are actually a lot better nowadays. The throwing stopped but still argue. They are still together but then I have two younger siblings that still live with them. I have asked my mom why shes still with my dad and her answer is always the same... she doesn't know what she'd do without him (moneywise etc).

lazer

Valli wrote: »

If you were in a happy marriage you would be happily staying at home and not sleeping around.
Happily married people don't stray. Unhappily married people do.

I, for one, am not 'picking at holes'; I'm responding to your shameless claim that you have had two relationships and a one-night stand while attempting to criticise people who don't stay married for the sake of the children. Since, when making your marriage promise you presumably claimed to 'forsake all others' you can hardly claim to have kept to it, can you?

And yet you are implying that those of us who have chosen to separate are somehow not as 'worthy' as yourself as we have not 'sacrificed' our lives for the sake of our children?

Shame on you!

My marriage vows contained promises to be faithful but also contained the words "until the end of our lives" - so if you get divorced you also don't keep your vows. People that have seperated have broken their vows, people who have cheated have broken their vows, judging each other doesn't help.

No one can decide how happy a marriage is unless its your own marriage, and only you can decide if you are happy enough to stay in the marriage.

I do feel however that people sometimes spilt up instead of working through their problems and some people expect to be 100% happy all the time, IMO people don't make the time to commumicate and compromise doesn't seen to exist for some people, i feel sorry for any children involved in these marriages.

I actually think as long as you are reasonably happy you should stay together if you have children, if you are really unhappy, they firstly try to work it out, but if you still remain unhappy then spilt up as the children will pick up on it.

victory

moneysaymoneydo wrote: »

That's just it you are not getting the point, I am perfectly happy in my marriage and (to my knowledge) so is the other half, but as Padstow very kindly pointed out that could change and if it does I will deal with it then. I am amazed how you ask a simple question on here and it gets twisted, I cheated = me unhappy, not at all I am very happy at this moment in time but as I have said yes that could change. As for the other half I cant talk for them as someone pointed out they could be cheating to but as for us and here and now in our loving family unit we are happy end of, kids are secure and happy with no problems.

Ok I'LL BITE......

Define a perfectly happy marriage then?

To me it is mutual respect, love, care, support, laughing together, sharing, wanting to spend time together, having fun, lots of things that make up a perfect marriage and yet you feel that cheating on your OH, lying to him, giving yourself to someone else, lacking respect, having the ability to look at your OH in the eye knowing full well you are a cheat, a liar, a user, you have let him down, you have betrayed him a perfectly happy marriage?


A loving family unit? Does your OH know where you are, taking your clothes off and sleeping with another person to create a loving family unit? Because of what, unhappiness within the marriage, vanity, thinking you are some kind of sex god? Whilst that is taking place is your OH innocently caring for this loving family unit and making sure his kids are loved, dressed, fed and thought about?

victory

lazer wrote: »

I actually think as long as you are reasonably happy you should stay together if you have children, if you are really unhappy, they firstly try to work it out, but if you still remain unhappy then spilt up as the children will pick up on it.

I know someone that their marriage is silence, they don't argue, throw things, so from the outside in you could say' oh well they are reasonably happy' but neither of them are, it is silent, the kids sure know, the atmosphere is there, they are both slowly retreating, slowly dying inside, bit by bit, everyone else could say that they are reasonably happy as there are no rows and everything is going along just fine but they are crippled with the loneliness and the pain of the loss of a marriage that once was good but now has very little left other than the desperate need to protect their children from the marriage split, it ends up not being fair on all of them.

Georgiegirl256

moneysaymoneydo wrote: »

That's just it you are not getting the point, I am perfectly happy in my marriage and (to my knowledge) so is the other half, but as Padstow very kindly pointed out that could change and if it does I will deal with it then. I am amazed how you ask a simple question on here and it gets twisted, I cheated = me unhappy, not at all I am very happy at this moment in time but as I have said yes that could change. As for the other half I cant talk for them as someone pointed out they could be cheating to but as for us and here and now in our loving family unit we are happy end of, kids are secure and happy with no problems.

So why start the thread then? Is it so that when your husband finally decides to leave you, you've got plenty of reasons "why we should stay together for the kids"?