age differences between couples?

building_with_lego

16 years gap here. When we were first together a lot of friends, and some relations, asked whether the gap was an issue (implying that it was in some way remarkable). When we replied thoughtfully that it wasn't the conversation moved onto other matters.

(We've been happily unmarried for over a decade and have two children.)

southoftheriver

I was once with someone who was 25 years older than me. Maybe if we had been younger it may have worked but although we were actually at similar stages in our life (he was a late starter in education) we both knew it couldn't really go anywhere. I also had an ex who was 9 years older than me when I was a teenager. He was the most immature man i've ever met and I had to teach him all sorts about being an adult! So its not as simple as age! I'm now with someone my own age and for me that is the right fit, although its because of who he is rather than how old.

I think i've tied myself in knots a bit but I know what I mean!

bella_boo123

10 years between me and DP, we met when I was 18 and 13 years later and two girls very much still happy :-)

cte1111

Gloomendoom wrote: »

How do you know old people are?

Funny question! How they look and sound I guess. How do you know anything about someone? By talking to them, getting to know them, asking them.

Air_Cooled_75

FIL is with a woman who is younger than his oldest son (she's *around* 40) he's 64. Been together a couple of years. MIL died in 2009, seems a bit rebound to me, he's pretty minted and she does 2 days as a mobile hairdresser. It's all a mess tbh. I just can't see how it's going to be when he's in his 70's. She's moved him miles away from friends and family.

Sorry, a bit off topic but this is my only experience (and not myself) of a big age gap. Does it seem suspicious when they only hook up at 60? Just interested, I'm trying to keep an open mind about the relationship but recently FIL has been saying things like 'we don't have any history/past, things to relate to'.

southoftheriver

Ooo another thing, when I was with the guy who was 25 years older than me he had told some of his friends about me. The reaction was "make sure she isn't after anything from you and doesn't want to get up the duff to trap you!" I found this funny because I earn more than double what he does whereas he is an unskilled labourer. Now I don't care about that and it wouldn't have mattered if we'd stayed together, but not every woman with an older guy is after something.

catkins

marisco wrote: »

I think that the older a person gets, the less the size of an age gap in their relationship matters. If someone is 16 and starts to date a 26 year old, that is a big age gap because presumably the 16 year old is still at school, and the 26 year old is working so they will be at very different stages in their lives. But if a 26 year old is dating a 40 year old they may both be in the working world and have more in common. There are many people in relationships with large age gaps who are very happy together. However I think being in the same 'stage of life' helps to keep a couple connected.

I think the age difference can matter more as the couple age. Say 20 years difference - at 35 and 55 the difference doesn't seem that big really, especially if the 55 year old is young at heart. But then 60 and 80 is a big difference. The 60 year could well be healthy and young at heart but at 80 most people are definitely slowing down (to be polite).

I am in almost 60 and am still active, out walking most days, love going out in the evenings - restaurants, cinema, theatre, concerts, sporting events etc. I know a few people who are 80 and they really only want to stay at home most of the time plus none of them are very healthy

mentaljessie

Six years between myself and partner, he's known me since I was 19 although we only got together when I was 22. We've been together through thick and thin for the 12 years since, we are not married.

On the other hand my Dad's wife is a year older than me, as much as I have tried to be friendly and supportive, I have been totally blanked by her (for example blocked on facebook). My Dad in all reality just wants a quiet life, but is not going to get this with a 14 and 17 year old.

Dad has made it clear his older children myself included, have all made their way in life. I to have made the conclusion that I will not be inheriting one penny of his self made fortune. I feel that being as his wife is only a year older than me, I wish her good luck in earning your nursing stripes. If she dosen't fufill this obligation to her inheritance will diminish.

Being as he is a Dad and he never purchased me a pair of school shoes, and bragged that he only had to pay 50p a week in CSA payments, I wish him well (He knows where I live). Thankfully my Grandmother as wise and astute as she is, has made a small provision for myself and Brother which I will be gladly donating to the local branch of the RSPCA, and I'm sure my Brother will do also.

My Dad was banking on my Grandmothers property being his pension, but she sought fit to overwise.

Gloomendoom

catkins wrote: »

I am in almost 60 and am still active, out walking most days, love going out in the evenings - restaurants, cinema, theatre, concerts, sporting events etc. I know a few people who are 80 and they really only want to stay at home most of the time plus none of them are very healthy

My dad is in the latter half of his 80's and sounds like he could give you a run for your money.

repeatoffender

I have done all three :rotfl: i think the age difference matters more as we get older.

First marriage OH around same age as me and now when we meet up through family events or whatever we have so much in common we wonder why we ever broke up? We are still on the same wavelength.

Second marriage OH 15 years older than me, it was great while it lasted it started in my 20's he was in his 40's but now he just seems sooo much older than me the gap is very noticeable.

Third (and current marriage) I am 11 years older than OH and i would say he has kept me young, however i am staring to feel the difference, i know i am slowing down and for the first time i find myself noticing the difference. He says he does not but i know the gap is widening if that makes sense?