age differences between couples?

DigForVictory

My family on one side has a tradition of darn near child brides. Seems the chaps fall with a thud for schoolroom chits, accept the diktat of "wait for her to reach 18" (21 in the case of one doting Papa), marry her and live long & happy seeming lives together.
T'other side marries late. Groom awful close to 50 before he found The One who was 30-something, but everyone in the family took to her on sight. Again marriage & it looks pretty good from the outside.
So my family have no fuss about how old both parties are, just that they marry.
As for nursing your spouse in their old age, yes of course & indeed, who else? We're all going to get old, so why not accept the hazards that brings with as much grace as possible? And anyway, tomorrow could bring anything. Carpe diem!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

My mother married at 17 to a man in his thirties. He died in his 40s. She wasn't particularly happily married, felt that she was his trophy rather than his equal.


I dated a guy in his 50s when I was 25 and he treated me really well, then in my thirties, I dated guys 40 plus. They weren't that great, were either very immature or acted incredibly old.



The Lovely Fella is five years younger than me. I knew he was a bit younger, but we didn't realise for a couple of months, because it just never occurred to us (and when a couple of friends found out I'm 40, they were shocked and said they always thought I was about 34 )


My best friend is 14 years younger than her OH and they have a great relationship, one of my exes started going out with a 22 year old and then dumped her when she started 'getting on a bit' and hit 30. But he was always making a big thing about how I was much older than him - three months and one day, to be precise :cool:.




It's not so much the age that's the issue, it's the intellectual maturity/capacity that makes a difference, IMO.

Cottage_Economy

My husband is 12 years older than me. Comes in very handy for retirement planning as there isn't the worry of only having pensions coming in ...well...for him anyway as I'll still be working while he's retired

I had dated men my age but found them shallow, immature playstation freaks who spent a fortune on beer and sky TV, and made no plans for the future beyond what they were going to have to eat from the kebab shop on the way home from the pub. I finally gave up on the last one at 31.

I clicked with hubby straight away when I met him - it's only a 12 year age difference but I could see from the way his friends treated me and their own wives and girlfriends they seemed on the whole to have a completely different more respectful attitude to women.

He still opens my car door for me after nearly 10 years together. The guy I was seeing before him I'd be lucky if I got in the car in time before he drove off without a backward glance :rotfl:

Person_one

meritaten wrote: »

But, he could have been closer in age to you and still had signs of dementia
my lovely nan had signs of Alzhiemers in her late fifties! at 78 its still a shame, is there nothing the medics can do to help?

The chances at 55 are much much lower though, no point pretending differently. Its an aspect of an age gap relationship that shouldn't necessarily be ignored.

Callie22

Person_one wrote: »

The chances at 55 are much much lower though, no point pretending differently. Its an aspect of an age gap relationship that shouldn't necessarily be ignored.

Definitely - and another thing that shouldn't be ignored is the health (or otherwise) of your partner's parents. My OH is 11 years older than me and his parents were 'older' when they had him. As his mum's health has been poor for a long time it's been a strain, and now his father is declining mentally too. It can be very hard and I dread to think how difficult it would be, financially, emotionally and time-wise, if OH and I had kids. It's selfish of me, but I spent a long time when I was younger caring for elderly relatives and I sometimes feel that I've never had those few years in the middle that you're supposed to get, where you can just be responsible for yourself for a while.

baconandcabbage

j.e.j. wrote: »

No royal babies in this thread!

I was just wondering what people's thoughts are on age differences between couples. I got thinking about it because I've been invited to a wedding where the happy couple are about 30 and 55 (!) years old, and I think there have been, shall we say, mixed reactions to the wedding for one reason or another..

I guess it's not uncommon for (for example) a 10 or 15 year age gap, but I guess 25 years is quite a difference!

Out of interest (alright, nosiness ) has anyone on here got married to someone much older (or younger) than them? What were people's reactions, were they ok with it or were there a few raised eyebrows?

There is a 24 year age gap between me and my OH ( i am 30) and i couldn't care less what other people think we have been together 11 years we get on like a house on fire and run businesses together. I do hate when people assume younger women go with older men for money maybe some do but i didn't. We generally don't get stares. He is my soulmate x

baconandcabbage

I do find it's older women who seem to have a problem with the younger female older male relationships

pink_princess

12 year age gap here, I'm the younger one yet wish I could get my husband to grow up:D

In all seriousness the health thing is a concern, all we can do is to try and stay healthy. He can still run, cycle and walk for miles and plays tennis followed by football at the moment.

LaVerdad

Usually the product of insecurity on both sides ime. But its their life, as long as I don't have to hear the moaning when the inevitable problems creep in.

Cookiee

OH is 7 years older than me and to be honest I have never given it any thought. We have been together 17.5 yrs and he was my first ever boyfriend. My mum was slightly surprised that I settled for the 1st boyfriend I had, but considering my relationship has lasted longer than any of her marriages (she is on number 4 - which finally she has met someone who balances her out lol) or any of my friends, none of them can say a word.

I married my husband for who he is, not how old he is.

My mum married my step-dad who is 9 yrs younger than her. They are like a couple of teenagers and they give different things to a relationship. A bit like OH and me really. Whilst I am younger, I tend to be the more serious one, where OH is more easygoing and pushes me to do things I would not normally consider.

Age is but a number, love is forever.