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Better_Off_1983

!!!!!! is not an issue in my relationship, but I can see why it is a problem in some. Here is my experience with the matter at hand (ahem)

When I was with my ex, he was not very highly sexed, he was only up for it once a week and I was taking to !!!!!! nearly every night while he was asleep. He thought that anything other than the missionary position was too kinky! I would get jealous of the couples in the videos because they looked like they were enjoying eachother (I know it is only acting!) but I wished my ex and I were like that. He said he liked Halle Berry as an actress (??) but he could not take his eyes of the screen during that sex scene in Monster's Ball!! I then got really jealous and it made me really insecure. I hid my !!!!!! habits with him, I don't know why. We did talk about it, but he just did not seem to care. I said "There are men out there that would kill for a woman with a sexual appetite like mine."

My bf now has a very healthy sexual appetite. Sometimes when he is home alone he will tell me that he watched some !!!!!!, not like he has to report in or anything like that. He will just say that he was really 'excited' earlier in the day in my absence, normally in passing conversation. "How was your day?" "Oh, I just watched some redhead in knee high boots, she was a right dirty cow!" Some people may think this is weird but we don't look at !!!!!! together.

Sometimes, if I have the day off, I will indulge in some !!!!!! I prefer visual stuff rather than that dreaded book everyone was raving about earlier this year!! I like to get straight to the point! I only look at it if I am in the mood and/or can be bothered, which is about once a month.

Not all men look at !!!!!!, but some do. If it is affecting the relationship, where one of the partner's prefers !!!!!! as apposed to the sins of the flesh then there is an issue.

jacques_chirac

carrot-cake wrote: »

!!!!!! in my eyes, unless watched by both parties and enjoyed in a relationship, is something that men do when they are bored with their marraige/relationship, then !!!!!! becomes boring too so they want a little bit more, so they start talking to other women via facebook/dating sites/sex texting sites, then this turns into meeting up with other women.

If someone is going to cheat they are not going to do it because of !!!!!!! :rotfl:

I can't speak for everyone (and nor can you) but most of my friends watch !!!!!!, and none have gone on to cheat on their partners.

carrot-cake wrote: »

Yes but its ok for a man to say to his partner who's upset 'whats your problem? Theres nothing wrong with men looking at naked women....its a learning curve'.

Wasn't a learning curve when the boot was on the other foot though?

If you and your partner enjoy looking at filth then good for you. Other people are a bit more sensitive especially when its done behind their back making them feel paranoid that there could be more going on!

It is quite clear that there were issues on both sides of your relationship, and they went far beyond !!!!!!.

Torry_Quine

carrot-cake wrote: »

Sorry this is just my opinion and experience so please don't all jump down my throat people. !!!!!! in my eyes, unless watched by both parties and enjoyed in a relationship, is something that men do when they are bored with their marraige/relationship, then !!!!!! becomes boring too so they want a little bit more, so they start talking to other women via facebook/dating sites/sex texting sites, then this turns into meeting up with other women.

When they start deleting history, hiding their phone, won't let you go near their phone, password everything. Then you know you're not just being paranoid.

I really hope you can work things out and your husband is understanding. Its ok for people to say you shouldn't feel the way you feel about !!!!!!.....but they are not you. And everyone feels differently about different things so please don't think this is something you just have to come to terms with x

You won't find any disagreement from me here.

Calien27 wrote: »

"All those saying 'it's just what men do and get used to it'. No it isn't. Thats just to make themsleves feel better because those saying it have a !!!!!! habit too!"

Fact is most men do enjoy looking at !!!!!!, they are visual creatures, and I say this as a woman who also watches it, not to "make myself feel better" because of some fictitious habit dreamed up by someone who doesn't enjoy watching it.

If it's all perfectly legal stuff, there is nothing shameful about enjoying pornography, either on your own or as a couple.

If it's not your thing, that's fine, everyone is different, just don't try and shame or embarrass people who do like it.

Equally don't try and and shame those who don't.

If both members of a couple are happy with it then that's fine but there's nothing wrong with not having !!!!!! as part of your relationship.

marisco_2

Torry_Quine wrote: »

However I don't think that masturbation is appropriate in a marriage.

Why would it not be appropriate in a marriage? Lots of people masturbate to learn more about what they find pleasurable. You can discover more about your body and its responses by masturbating, and this can help a person to communicate better with their partner about what they enjoy sexually. If a couple can share this experience together, it can be fun and bring them even closer. It is totally normal and healthy, not something to look on with disdain.

Fosterdog

jacques_chirac wrote: »

If someone is going to cheat they are not going to do it because of !!!!!!! :rotfl:

This is completely true. My OH has always enjoyed watching it, not obsessively but occasionally, his ex told him how much of a pervert he was and how disgusting it was and left him feeling ashamed of who he was. He was completely faithful to her throughout their marriage. She left him for another man and he has since found out that she had affairs with at least four other men in their 12 years together.

So he was the dirty disgusting one but remained faithful to a cheating wife, even forgiving her for one affair that he knew about before they finally separated. She was the good innocent church going one who couldn't keep her knickers up long enough to catch her breath.

I also have never cheated on a partner and as far as I'm concerned I never would. If you are tempted then there are issues in your relationship that need to be either dealt with or end it all, there is never a good excuse for cheating. But I must be a bad person because I watch and enjoy !!!!!!.

burnoutbabe

Torry_Quine wrote: »

If both members of a couple are happy with it then that's fine but there's nothing wrong with not having !!!!!! as part of your relationship.

no, nothing wrong with that, but if that is your wish and expected behaviour within marriage, it should be discussed beforehand. ie you should mention you don't approve at some stage when dating.

Torry_Quine

marisco wrote: »

Why would it not be appropriate in a marriage? Lots of people masturbate to learn more about what they find pleasurable. You can discover more about your body and its responses by masturbating, and this can help a person to communicate better with their partner about what they enjoy sexually. If a couple can share this experience together, it can be fun and bring them even closer. It is totally normal and healthy, not something to look on with disdain.

I'm not looking with disdain on anyone but surprised that many seem to need this within marriage

burnoutbabe wrote: »

no, nothing wrong with that, but if that is your wish and expected behaviour within marriage, it should be discussed beforehand. ie you should mention you don't approve at some stage when dating.

If it's something you've no experience or contact with and the person your with is from the same type of backgound, environment etc then it probably wouldn't be something you would even think off. I certainly didn't, maybe that was naive of me but it wasn't ever in my radar.:(

DUTR

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I'm not looking with disdain on anyone but surprised that many seem to need this within marriage

Is it wrong to masturbate?
Also it is not mentioned in the bible.

jacques_chirac

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I'm not looking with disdain on anyone but surprised that many seem to need this within marriage

!!!!!! is not a need for most, it is a want. Chocolate/ pizza/ wine are not needs, they are wants. There is nothing wrong with enjoying non essentials!

Fosterdog

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I'm not looking with disdain on anyone but surprised that many seem to need this within marriage

Masturbation is a completely different issue altogether than !!!!!!. Somebody who finds !!!!!! disgusting can still enjoy masturbation, it is needed in most relationships as foreplay, unless you are the type of people constantly turned on with her being permanently wet and him permanently hard then masturbation is needed to prepare each others bodies for sex. Particularly if one partner is more turned on at the time than the other.

I'm more surprised and very impressed that you can have a satisfying sexual relationship with your partner without the need for either of you to either self masturbate or help each other out. I also feel slightly sad for you if sex for you does not involve anything other than penetration because you are both missing out on a whole world of pleasure from other acts.