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bitemebankers

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

I think "all men" is a bit too definite. I'm sure some / many do, or perhaps do as teenagers and go off it.

"All" isn't completely accurate but it is a very close approximation:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/6709646/All-men-watch-!!!!!!-scientists-find.html

A bit more googling reveals that the chances of having a male partner who doesn't jack off to !!!!!! is around the same as the lifetime risk of being struck by lightning (around one in a few thousand).

neverdespairgirl

bitemebankers wrote: »

"All" isn't completely accurate but it is a very close approximation:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/6709646/All-men-watch-!!!!!!-scientists-find.html

A bit more googling reveals that the chances of having a male partner who doesn't jack off to !!!!!! is around the same as the lifetime risk of being struck by lightning (around one in a few thousand).

You aren't comparing like with like. That survey said they couldn't find any men who hadn't seen some, at some stage (from what I could gather).

My OH, for example, saw a bit as a teenager, and concluded it just didn't do anything for him.

dandelionclock30

:rotfl:Thats what he telling you.lol.

neverdespairgirl

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

:rotfl:Thats what he telling you.lol.

It is. But I don't think it's something that he wouldn't have mentioned some time over the past 15 years. And neither he nor I is ever secretive about computers, DVDs, phones, etc.

bitemebankers

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

You aren't comparing like with like.

To be fair, that was just a bit of fun, not a submission to a peer-reviewed journal. The key point is, men who don't use !!!!!! are rare, and the OP's partner isn't doing anything that isn't normal for nearly all men. I'm stating this in response to some of the hyperbolic shock and outrage posted on this thread, which makes it sound like he tortures cute, furry animals for fun.

heartbreak_star

As I've said...it's only !!!!!!. It could be worse - he could be cheating.

HBS x

supersaver2

heartbreak_star wrote: »

As I've said...it's only !!!!!!. It could be worse - he could be cheating.

HBS x

God not the 'it could always be worse' excuse! That doesn't mean the OP shouldn't feel upset, hurt etc. Things could always be worse in all situations, not much comfort though is it?

heartbreak_star

I just don't really understand where the problem is and it hasn't been clarified by the OP - is it that he still watches it? That he hides it?

I also don't understand the vitriol against !!!!!! on this thread - half of it looks like a Barbie and Ken doll being banged together anyway.

HBS x

tandydadder

Only stumbled across this today...... Haven't read all the responses yet coz I'm a bit pushed for time but feel compelled to answer your question. I've been through this myself. Like you, I didn't realise that this was an issue until after we were married. I was very hurt because I'm fairly open minded to try new things, have never turned him down because I enjoy sex too, and he says he's very happy in the bedroom. I felt like the mistress, because he lied to protect his habit. He would swear that he wasn't using !!!!!! (I'd be convinced though) and then I'd stumble across his mags. Like you, fairly tame stuff. Think the industry term is T&A. I'm sad I even know that. Anyway, I finally got through to him when I insisted he looked at the info about one of the 'models'. eg 19yr old art student stacey from doncaster etc. He felt a bit crap coz he'd never be interested in someone that young. This opened the doors to discussion. I told him that just because he wasn't sleeping with a real person didn't mean to say I was any less hurt. In my eyes, he was still going outside the marriage for his sexual thrills. I also felt that he was increasingly objectifying me in the bedroom. ie always liked me to wear the shoes and lingerie... Felt like he was just 'looking' rather than 'connecting'. I feel that it's a cop out to say that men are aroused visually whereas as women are different. It dismisses the fact that I am still very hurt by this. If I thought that my behaviour hurt him in any way, this would be addressed. And as for the (blokes') suggestion to incorporate !!!!!! into your sex life, for me there is nothing more demeaning and painful than watching the love of your life getting his rocks off whilst looking at a youthful 20yr old's tits, and also it gives them permission to continue with the habit. I've borne, delivered and breastfed his children. My body will never look like that again. He confessed it was laziness on his part. I can take longer to 'get going'. We're working through it. I am livid that this was witheld from me until AFTER we married. Like any addiction it requires cold turkey, and perhaps outside help. He knows if he EVER goes down that route again, it WILL be over, coz ultimately, our sex life dwindeled. While he was happily !!!!!!!, I was condemned to a sexless, almost loveless marriage. I wish you well. PM me if you need to. Much hugs. xxxx

Padstow

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

You aren't comparing like with like. That survey said they couldn't find any men who hadn't seen some, at some stage (from what I could gather).

My OH, for example, saw a bit as a teenager, and concluded it just didn't do anything for him.

Don't be so daft and wisen up!
ETA, You're as blind as those who come here to state that their beloved would never cheat!