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LouLou

tonycottee wrote: »

What if he asked you to address your unreasonable view on him looking at !!!!!!?

bitemebankers, this was the quote I was referring to.

No, tonycottee hasn't mentioned his opinion about tandydadders' sadness and alienation due to her husband's "hobby": but he is still implying she is being unreasonable wanting him to stop watching !!!!!!. No matter that her marriage is crumbling and her confidence is undermined.

Is it being suggested that !!!!!! is essential for every man, a life-support system, or am I missing the point? A man and his !!!!!! go hand in hand (hand in gland )? I find that reply not only really insulting but also blimmin' strange.

What we do know is that the husband's !!!!!! habit isn't a positive addition to their marriage, at least.

bitemebankers

LouLou wrote: »

The age of the women is irrelevant, really

Why bring it up then? It's actually a myth that men only look at young women in !!!!!!. Older women are hugely popular, especially amongst UK !!!!!! viewers.

My point is, he's not listening to her, making her feel loved, and he's lying and turning her into a "thing", a product of the movies he's watched, rather than relating to her as his partner.

Indeed. And the counter-argument is that relationship problems are almost never the fault of just one party.

Their relationship is in crisis because of his addiction to !!!!!!

In your opinion. I think it's more than likely that the OP is defining her husbands !!!!!! use as the cause of all their relationship issues because it's a knee-jerk reaction to her dislike of !!!!!!. Given that he's almost certainly used !!!!!! for many years before they even got together, and throughout the time when she deeded their relationship to be good, this is unlikely to be the case.

it's not a huge sacrifice to give up the movies and mags and focus on the woman he (supposedly) loves?

Actually, telling your partner to stop doing something legal and safe which they get pleasure from IS a big deal. If you care about your partner and their happiness, why would you ask them to do such a thing?

You can, gasp, have a "satisfying sex life" without !!!!!!. Maybe some men should try it !

Of course, but what suits one person doesn't suit another. Also, you should bear in mind that lots of women are enthusiastic consumers of !!!!!! too - it's not just a man thing as you appear to believe.

LouLou

bitemebankers wrote: »

Why bring it up then? It's actually a myth that men only look at young women in !!!!!!. Older women are hugely popular, especially amongst UK !!!!!! viewers.



Indeed. And the counter-argument is that relationship problems are almost never the fault of just one party.



In your opinion. I think it's more than likely that the OP is defining her husbands !!!!!! use as the cause of all their relationship issues because it's a knee-jerk reaction to her dislike of !!!!!!. Given that he's almost certainly used !!!!!! for many years before they even got together, and throughout the time when she deeded their relationship to be good, this is unlikely to be the case.



Actually, telling your partner to stop doing something legal and safe which they get pleasure from IS a big deal. If you care about your partner and their happiness, why would you ask them to do such a thing?



Of course, but what suits one person doesn't suit another. Also, you should bear in mind that lots of women are enthusiastic consumers of !!!!!! too - it's not just a man thing as you appear to believe.

You were the one who mentioned age, I replied to you, I'm not bothered either way.

I'm not suggesting, either, that tandydadders is all unicorns and rainbows and the husband is the big bad wolf. Relationships are much more complicated. I was responding to her post and letting her know I empathise and understand. Only she and her husband know the full picture: I can't give 100% accurate marriage advice on a forum, no-one can.

I KNOW some women like !!!!!!, and I have no problem with that either. I would bet they still find some subjects/storylines very unsettling to watch, though, and you can also bet your last penny the female audience are very much in a minority.

As for your opinion about !!!!!! being legal and safe and harmless, maybe you didn't read my post(s) properly. Surely your relationship, your partner's feelings, take priority over jacking off to X-rated movies. I've no problem with it as a solo pursuit, or even in a relationship, if you are both easygoing and happy with it. Not my business to judge other people's tastes. Ever heard of the word compromise?

Maybe I have a skewed view of relationships and !!!!!! is more important to some guys than I realise...!

It's quite scary to think some men would prefer, and/or vehemently defend, fantasy to their real lives..and it doesn't exactly promote good mental health or relationships, either.

Any more assumptions about me or stating the obvious you'd like to mention?

bitemebankers

LouLou wrote: »

You were the one who mentioned age, I replied to you, I'm not bothered either way.

Forgotten what you posted already?

She has carried his children and feels he compares her to these young women on screen/in magazines.

I'm not suggesting, either, that tandydadders is all unicorns and rainbows and the husband is the big bad wolf.

Really? So why make this claim then...?

Their relationship is in crisis because of his addiction to !!!!!!

I can't give 100% accurate marriage advice on a forum, no-one can.

You seem pretty certain about the cause of their problems though...

I KNOW some women like !!!!!!, and I have no problem with that either. I would bet they still find some subjects/storylines very unsettling to watch, though, and you can also bet your last penny the female audience are very much in a minority.

I think you would be surprised. Some studies suggest that at least a third of UK women like watching !!!!!!. That's hardly a small minority. This is also reflective of my own experience of the opinions of female friends and partners.

Surely your relationship, your partner's feelings, take priority over jacking off to X-rated movies.

I don't see why they have to be mutually exclusive.

Maybe I have a skewed view of relationships and !!!!!! is more important to some guys than I realise...!

Virtually all men watch !!!!!!. Draw your own conclusions from that.

Any more assumptions about me or stating the obvious you'd like to mention?

The only assumptions I've made are from what you've posted. See above.

LouLou

bitemebankers wrote: »

Forgotten what you posted already?





Really? So why make this claim then...?





You seem pretty certain about the cause of their problems though...



I think you would be surprised. Some studies suggest that at least a third of UK women like watching !!!!!!. That's hardly a small minority. This is also reflective of my own experience of the opinions of female friends and partners.



I don't see why they have to be mutually exclusive.



Virtually all men watch !!!!!!. Draw your own conclusions from that.



The only assumptions I've made are from what you've posted. See above.

I refuse to be drawn into a pointless argument where someone is going round in circles. If you have something interesting or new to say, maybe then I'll respond. Have a great Tuesday.

supersaver2

bitemebankers wrote: »

Why bring it up then? It's actually a myth that men only look at young women in !!!!!!. Older women are hugely popular, especially amongst UK !!!!!! viewers.



Indeed. And the counter-argument is that relationship problems are almost never the fault of just one party.



In your opinion. I think it's more than likely that the OP is defining her husbands !!!!!! use as the cause of all their relationship issues because it's a knee-jerk reaction to her dislike of !!!!!!. Given that he's almost certainly used !!!!!! for many years before they even got together, and throughout the time when she deeded their relationship to be good, this is unlikely to be the case.



Actually, telling your partner to stop doing something legal and safe which they get pleasure from IS a big deal. If you care about your partner and their happiness, why would you ask them to do such a thing?



Of course, but what suits one person doesn't suit another. Also, you should bear in mind that lots of women are enthusiastic consumers of !!!!!! too - it's not just a man thing as you appear to believe.

So asking your partner to stop doing something that is legal and safe is a big deal, does this apply to sleeping with other people behind her back? After all as long as your careful its safe and legal? Where is the line drawn? Surely each relationship is different, some have open relationships and sleep with others, some people don't like !!!!!!, I dislike this attitude that is shown so often that all men like !!!!!! and women should just get use to it.

bitemebankers

supersaver2 wrote: »

Surely each relationship is different, some have open relationships and sleep with others, some people don't like !!!!!!

Personally, I think the time to discuss the basis of a relationship and what each partners' expectations are is at the beginning of that relationship, not after living together for years and having children together.

As I've said before, it's a bit much to live with someone for years and then suddenly start complaining about their use of !!!!!!, and blaming all of their relationship problems on it.

I dislike this attitude that is shown so often that all men like !!!!!! and women should just get use to it.

By and large, that's just the way it is. If any given woman feels that strongly about it, she can try and find a man who doesn't watch !!!!!!. The "attitude" that women should just get used to it is really just pragmatism.

LouLou

It's entirely possible a partner's !!!!!! habit can escalate and cast a large shadow over a relationship over time, maybe this is what has happened. Maybe some are aware of their partner's "hobby" and think it'll "go away", who knows.

And of course, some watch !!!!!! to fulfil a fantasy/fetish that they can't get the wife/girlfriend to re-enact (quite a common theme with some men), which are even murkier waters...

bitemebankers

LouLou wrote: »

It's entirely possible a partner's !!!!!! habit can escalate and cast a large shadow over a relationship over time, maybe this is what has happened

If you read back, the OP appears to claim that she knew nothing about it whatsoever, which is a bit fishy in itself.

Ignoring the OP for a moment and thinking in general terms, I agree that it would be a problem if a partner actively neglected their partner in favour of !!!!!!. However, I'd question whether the !!!!!! is a symptom of other relationship problems (such as the other partner losing interesting in sex) rather than a cause. It certainly makes for an easy scapegoat and a way of deflecting blame.

And of course, some watch !!!!!! to fulfil a fantasy/fetish that they can't get the wife/girlfriend to re-enact (quite a common theme with some men), which are even murkier waters...

Murkier? On the contrary, I see this is a positive thing. There are always going to be certain things that one's partner just isn't into and, for those who aren't in poly relationships, !!!!!! can provide a useful release. This could potentially prevent a partner from seeking elsewhere what they can't get at home. I'm sure !!!!!! has helped to keep many couples together in this way.

supersaver2

bitemebankers wrote: »

Personally, I think the time to discuss the basis of a relationship and what each partners' expectations are is at the beginning of that relationship, not after living together for years and having children together.

As I've said before, it's a bit much to live with someone for years and then suddenly start complaining about their use of !!!!!!, and blaming all of their relationship problems on it.



By and large, that's just the way it is. If any given woman feels that strongly about it, she can try and find a man who doesn't watch !!!!!!. The "attitude" that women should just get used to it is really just pragmatism.

You never actually answered my questions, does expecting your partner to not sleep around constitute being a big deal in your book seeing as its safe, legal and gives pleasure?