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Carl31

This thread is like a lesson

How to understand male sex drive lesson 1

Theres not much to it. We are programme to spread seed. We can do that with wives, lovers or alone. What we can't do very well is control when we need to, hence where !!!!!! comes in. Its a shame some wives still don't understand their husbands

Calien27

There's nothing wrong with what she said, it's not like she went into graphic detail about it or it was completely off topic. We're talking about pornography which is sexual, it's not like she randomly mentioned it whilst everyone else is discussing how the weather has been.

EchoLocation

Now, I think it is unreasonable for you to tell him to stop it, but not unreasonable for you to ask him to stop it, because of how you feel - you shouldn't think you're at fault for feeling uneasy about it. However, I think the issue here is not whether !!!!!! (or masturbation) within a marriage is ok or not (both ok by the way) but that your husband appears to have agreed to stop on more than one occasion but hasn't. That's the issue, not the !!!!!! itself.

As for !!!!!!, let me explain from a male point of view. A lot of men - though certainly not all - will look at !!!!!! at some point; but the motivation and object of this is very often misunderstood by women. The most dangerous assumption made is that men desire to be with, and are lusting after, the women in !!!!!!. They are not, I can't overstate this enough. The thing with 'using' !!!!!! is it's quick and easy, no hassle, there's nobody else to please or disappoint, and most importantly is that it's not about love or want. It's just a way to indulge an urge. It can also be addictive because of this.

You shouldn't feel unloved or unattractive to your husband. Just think if you've ever had thoughts or made comments about certain men on tv being fit or whatever, would that mean you find your husband less attractive? or that he should feel so? No. He's told you that there's nothing more to it and he's not specifically looking at anything - so perhaps this is the truth. It is just browsing. Maybe he feels unable to bother you everytime his libido acts up and !!!!!! is just a quick way to induge it. I think you should perhaps try to understand that looking at !!!!!! does not come with all the connotations that you maybe think it does.

However, as I said, I think the real issue is he said he'd stop. This is a problem and you are right to be concerned. Best advice I can give is probably just the common sense approach - you need a big open honest talk, if counselling is the only way to do this then go for it if he'll agree.

Carl31

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

I don't know what the OP wants us to say??

We all have views and our own sliding moral scale etc and it won't be the same as hers.

She doesn't approve of something her husband does - something that is legal, does not involve harm to others and does not appear to be eating into the family funds.

Despite discussions, he won't change... she has two choices... live with it or end the relationship.

I know that sounds obvious but the OP does not seem interested in reconsidering her views so... live with it or don't.

She wants reassurance that her being uncomfortable in her view about !!!!!! is right or OK. There is some in this thread, doesn't mean its right however

Men need to release. How they do that can vary, but they can't stop it. Even vicars can't, no matter how hard they want to

DUTR

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Wouldn't want to hear about most of those 'functions' either, thanks very much...

Less is more!

Some posters are falling over themselves to share too much information... almost as a badge of honour...

No, it is adults participating here, and I would imagine each and every reader is here thanks to sex or masturbation , what's the point pretending it doesn't happen?
It's not as if we are all swapping kinky secrets or arranging a swingers meet.
Nobody has said the OP is wrong to feel the way she does about her partner's habit. To expect him to give it up personally I think maybe asking too much, yes if she cannot accept it, then she will have to consider her options, nobody can make that descision for her, but to share situations as the participants have, can help the OP make a rational descision on which path to tread.

EchoLocation

Better_Off_1983 wrote: »

Way to much information? It is not like I am posting pictures of anything. This is an anonymous site!!

For future reference, I've always liked 'wetter than a cucumber in a womens prison'. Just a thought.

Better_Off_1983

Careful EchoLocation, some people may take offence to that and misconstrue that you should not eat cucumbers but stick them in bodily orifices!! What with us being in a recession and all!

LOL... water off a duck's back to me!

Oh dear, I have mentioned something else that is wet!! Am I going to get reported now? Am I going to get an email from Martin 'reprimanding' me? :P

southcoastrgi

carrot-cake wrote: »

Have to say I am not a prude but I found that to be way too much information. I don't want to know how lubricated you are thank you very much :whistle:

gotta say I don't have a prob with it, but then i am a man so i suppose that explains it

I really don't see what the prob is with sex either talking about it or watching it, you can watch people getting killed every day in the movies or on the news, but god forbid you watch a perfectly normal act of life,

ask your partner would she/he rather be f***ed or killed & i know what the answer will be

Better_Off_1983

Calien27 wrote: »

If my partner wanted to use my phone and have snoop while he's at it, he'd be more than welcome to, he'd just find boring texts between me and friends/family and a ridiculous amount of photos of my cat

My bf has loads of pictures of our cat too on his phone... so it is not just women that are mad about cats either!

Something more to learn about the genders on this thread!!

LouLou

My opinion is that it depends on the man. The man I'm with is quite open about what he likes and what does it for him (nothing OTT, more fetishy, visual stuff) and I'm constantly reassured he fancies me, so I'm absolutely fine with it. He thinks very highly of women and is very prickly about any sort of sexism, more so than I am!

I have pretty much zero desire to look at !!!!!! in any guise (let's face it, most of it is wham-bam, the dialogue can be awful and it's not usually made with women in mind). What does worry me is that for some men it is compulsive, addictive, and their need for extreme visuals can escalate (though I'd guess those men are in a minority).

On the internet, there are a lot of degradation/abusive/rape/kidnap/ageplay and worse, themed movies, and they're not that hard to find, depressingly. If I knew a man was watching anything of that ilk, he would be GONE.