Confused and unhappy

FBaby

I hadn't read the bit about the tea throwing. It is was thrown straight at her face when boiling hot, then that would indeed be very concerning. If he threw cool down tea left over in the cup that touched a bit of her leg after she told him that he was an a** for doubting her, that would put things in a different perspective.

It still remains that there is a big difference between gradually coming to term with shocking news and finding out totally out of the blue and unexpectedly.

moromir

FBaby wrote:

I hadn't read the bit about the tea throwing. It is was thrown straight at her face when boiling hot, then that would indeed be very concerning. If he threw cool down tea left over in the cup that touched a bit of her leg after she told him that he was an a** for doubting her, that would put things in a different perspective.

Let me be very clear, there is NO difference between those two scenarios, they are equally disgusting.

You do not throw anything at another person, particularly at a pregnant woman you apparently love.

moromir

I have reported Ronaldo Mconaldo's post, what an utterly pathetic attempt to cause upset to the OP.

DUTR

moromir wrote: »

I have reported Ronaldo Mconaldo's post, what an utterly pathetic attempt to cause upset to the OP.

Stop being childish, just because the post is not what you may like to read, things happen in life, that is not to say he is correct, the best replies on this threaed so far are the ones that acknowledge that both would be in shock and react in different ways to the same news.
After all they are both different characters, if the couple have 4 grown up children between them already and took 'insurance ' to prevent more then indeed, one maybe more sensitive to the news than the other. The throwing of the tea? is that food or a hot cuppa.
Those that suggest leaving, the guy would only have to pay CSA (15% max) as there only one child that qualifies, and perhaps 15% net is going to cover all the expenses.

pigpen

My dad was told about 15 years after the snip is the 'average' time for the body to fix itself.. it also depends massively on how the surgery was done in the first place.

His reaction is probably quite normal.. how would you have taken such news... as far as you know you are 'fixed' and then this news is dropped on you he will have all manner of stuff running through his head.. you've been unfaithful, whether you have or not is irrelevant to him at this moment in time.

When he is calm you both need to sit down and discuss this.. tell him you are quite happy to have a paternity test on the baby if you decide to continue with the pregnancy.. IF he will go get himself checked so he can see for himself the vasectomy has repaired itself and there is a possibility the baby is his.

The one thing I would mention is if you choose to not continue the pregnancy he will forever have that doubt that you have been unfaithful and the baby isn't his which could cause long term problems in your relationship.. just something else to consider.

There are much worse things to bring into the world than a baby.. give him a little time and space and yourself too.. obviously you are also in shock and confused and scared and emotional and of course a hormonal mess.

Another point.. are you CERTAIN it is a pregnancy?? Some tumours can cause positive tests which are rare but the chance is there. You really need to go speak to the GP and get a scan to make sure it is a pregnancy or have a private one if possible. I don't mean to worry you just to give an alternative viewpoint.

I'm sure given time you and he can sort this out and while it may seem he is being unreasonable he has just had this thrown at him and is feeling all the same things you are with a sense of betrayal thrown in.. give him space.. it will sort, it is not the end of the world!

((((hugs))))

Dunroamin

claire16c wrote: »

He needs to grow up and apologise for throwing his tea at you that's disgusting behaviour. Everyone knows its not always 100% effective.

Then you need to sit down together and decide whether you want to continue the pregnancy or not.

I really don't think that this is true.

marisco_2

FBaby wrote: »

I hadn't read the bit about the tea throwing. It is was thrown straight at her face when boiling hot, then that would indeed be very concerning. If he threw cool down tea left over in the cup that touched a bit of her leg after she told him that he was an a** for doubting her, that would put things in a different perspective.

It still remains that there is a big difference between gradually coming to term with shocking news and finding out totally out of the blue and unexpectedly.

Whether the tea was hot or not and irrespective of which part of her body it was aimed at, there is no justification for him throwing anything at her. There is no excuse for behaving in an intimidating way toward another person. Especially so when your actions have the potential to lead to someone getting hurt. Would it be acceptable for the OP to launch something at her husband because his snip failed? Of course it wouldn't!

Cottage_Economy

Dunroamin wrote: »

I really don't think that this is true.

It is dunroamin. Sometimes the sperm duct can regrow and rejoin its ends (the medical term is recanalisation) and it's not unheard of for some doctors to muck up the procedure. About 1 in 2000 vasectomies are failures.

A lot of men don't return as they are suppose to for all of their sperm tests to ensure they have no active sperm in their sample so they assume they are firing blanks when they are not. You might avoid pregancy for years just out of shear dumb luck and then get caught.

In the past a particular type of clip used to used to seal off the sperm chord, but that is no longer used due to the high failure rate. Whether that is due to the clip being positioned incorrectly by the doctor or coming off of it's own accord i don't know. Anyway, a new type has been produced that is better apparently.

Hubby and i have been doing a lot of research on this lately as we are going to be having it done.

moromir

DUTR wrote: »

Stop being childish, just because the post is not what you may like to read, things happen in life, that is not to say he is correct, the best replies on this threaed so far are the ones that acknowledge that both would be in shock and react in different ways to the same news.
After all they are both different characters, if the couple have 4 grown up children between them already and took 'insurance ' to prevent more then indeed, one maybe more sensitive to the news than the other. The throwing of the tea? is that food or a hot cuppa.
Those that suggest leaving, the guy would only have to pay CSA (15% max) as there only one child that qualifies, and perhaps 15% net is going to cover all the expenses.

Yeh... I'm not sure you actually read Ronaldo's post properly...

"we don't know know exactly what the husband was having for tea at the time. He might have just thrown the crust of what was left of a sandwich in the direction of the OP rather than a whole rack of ribs with all the extras on a big plate. So could the OP please tell us what was for tea at the time first of all."

Are you telling me that post was in any way conductive to helping the OP? It was a thinly veiled attempt to suggest that what happened to her was trivial and isn't a big deal, which is deplorable.

And for the record - it in no way matters whether it was a cup of tea or his food, at all. He threw something at his pregnant spouse.

claire16c

Dunroamin wrote: »

I really don't think that this is true.

How can you not? You often hear about this. Ive even seen it as story lines on tv shows and films. Plus I'm pretty sure they would tell you all the risks and benefits when you have it done, like they do with every operation.