EXTENDED: You've got another week to add your travel & holiday deals questions for expert MSE Oli as part of the latest Ask An Expert event.
Real-life MMD: Is my boyfriend taking me for a ride?
edited 9 July 2013 at 4:44PM in MoneySaving polls
86 replies 15.3K views
This discussion has been closed.
Latest MSE News and Guides
Energy Price Cap change
Martin Lewis on what it means for youMSE News
Best £1 you've ever spent?
Share your most impressive bargainsMSE Forum
New MSE Forum avatars available
Try 'em out nowMSE Forum
My sister was in a situation where she gave her OH lifts but he never offered anything back (even 'trip to the cinema, on me' once in a while)... He claimed to be skint, but was secretly squirrelling away money to go travelling for a year!
Maybe her boyfriend has a full driving licence but hasn't bought a car?
How much does her boyfriend currently pay towards petrol compared to the cost of using public transport? Note that offering a lift can actually be less flexible than public transport, for example, if he feels ill at lunchtime and needs to go home that would be covered by a normal public transport season ticket but may not be covered by offering lifts to and from work.
You've created a sort of weird scenario here. You want more money from him, or you want him to do things so that you don't engage in your self-imposed choice to feel bad. He's apparently OK with not being given a lift, so you just need to decide which of the two emotional states you've chosen for yourself is going to be the one you feel. You've put him and yourself in a situation where there's only one way to "win" - he gives you more money. You seem to have ignored the fact that maybe he's not going to be up for that.
I think it's fair that he gives you money for something that is costing you extra, like petrol. But I don't think it's fair that he gives you money for something that isn't costing you extra at all. If you taxed/insured the car and then didn't drive it ever again, it would still cost you the same amount, unlike petrol usage.
Do you pay for the gas he cooks your food with when you're at his house? Or the electricity for the TV? Did you even pay some money towards his TV, just on the offchance you might want to sit and watch it at some point?
There is obviously some issues in your relationship. You might as well just dump him ;-)
I quite agree! Petrol costs are not the only consideration - that's why mileage rates are always higher than pure fuel costs. Apart from which, why is the boyfriend being so tight, given that it is your time, etc., running him to his workplace? Given that it's not his capital tied up in the car, he should be grateful that you are prepared to act as his chauffeur.
I would agree though that the bigger issue is the actual relationship itself. In my experience you don't worry about things like this when you're happy. If you're not happy then get out now! You'll feel better in the long run and absolutely no man (or woman!) is worth a) being miserable for and b) getting into debt/having no cash left at the end of the month!
Good luck x