Difference in income between partners

time2deal

daisiegg wrote: »

Eventually I realised that although he is obviously hugely generous it also worked for him. He paid for things because if he didn't, we wouldn't be able to do them. He wanted to go out for a nice meal or go to the theatre - and if he wanted me to do that with him then he simply had to pay, because I couldn't.

I always think if there is a huge difference in wages between a couple, and they are determined to split everything 50/50, then they have to live within the means of the lowest earner - NOT live within the means of the highest earner and expect the lower earner to get into debt or cripple themselves to keep up. This seems the only fair way to do it. And if the higher earner doesn't want to live within the means of the lower earner, and still wants to share their life and lifestyle with their partner, then they need to contribute more than 50% - it's as simple as that.

Ever since buying a house together it doesn't seem much of an issue. I still pay him a small amount each month towards the household and I pay a couple of the utility bills and then apart from that he pays for most things. He pays the mortgage, all other bills, holidays, going out, etc. What he doesn't do - which some of my friends seem surprised at, for some reason - is give me money or buy things for me (other than gifts on special occasions etc). So in terms of my personal expenditure (clothes, etc) I am still living within my own limited means. But he pays for everything else. I do still make a point of thanking him all the time - I thank him for paying for things or taking me out, I thank him when he has had a hard day for working so hard to support us. Just like he thanks me for cooking a nice meal or keeping the house clean or being the laundry fairy. We both contribute to our lives and lifestyle, just in different ways.

Anyway, that is my take on it. If you live together and are married or truly partners in a long-term sense, I would expect most things to be pretty much shared. If you are still dating, then you either split everything 50/50 while only doing things that the lower earn can afford, or if you do things the higher earner wants to do but the other one can't afford, you can't expect to go 50/50.

Agree 100%. That's what I was somehow trying to say!