Don't know what to do!

Confused01

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

So if his flat is rented, and he doesn't officially live at your house, and at weekends he visits family and friends, where does all his post go to? Is he on the electoral roll anywhere, is he registered with a doctor, where is all his stuff, is it in storage?

Sorry if I am missing something OP, but the way you tell it, he doesn't actually have a permanent address at all, which seems very unlikely.

All of his mail goes to his rented flat, it's rented to some of his friends so they don't mind, all of his stuff is there too (including his cat) his clothes and other bits are at mine.

Don't know about the doctor.

zzzLazyDaisy

tiger_eyes wrote: »

I wasn't joking when I suggested the secret family - I used to think that only happened in soap operas, but then I encountered a real-life example ...

Yes, I have come across it too - the husband was working away during the week in London (living with his girlfriend) and going home to Manchester at weekends to be with his wife and children. He eventually got rumbled when his wife found out about his double life.

OP when he is with you during the week, does he leave his mobile lying around or does he keep it close to him, take it into the bathroom with him, etc?

I really hope it isn't anything like this, but you are about to have a baby together, you need to feel secure in this relationship (and yes I know we are probably not helping!).

Mojisola

Confused01 wrote: »

All of his mail goes to his rented flat, it's rented to some of his friends so they don't mind, all of his stuff is there too (including his cat) his clothes and other bits are at mine.

So is it officially rented out and does he comply with all his legal duties as a landlord and pay tax on the rental income?

19lottie82

Confused01 wrote: »

I'm now 3 months pregnant and I have asked him when he's going to tell his family about the baby, he gave me some rubbish excuse that his mother would never leave me alone if she knew she was going to be a grandma, I haven't mentioned it since but it's playing on my mind a lot.

It's now at the point where I think he's either embarrassed or ashamed of me and that I'll be raising our baby alone when the time comes.

Sit your boyfriend down and tell him this.

19lottie82

Mojisola wrote: »

So is it officially rented out and does he comply with all his legal duties as a landlord and pay tax on the rental income?

What's that got to do with the OP's situation?

Not relevant here IMO

charlie3090

I think that if its officially rented out then maybe he is a bit more commited to the op as he couldnt just move back in,
op any reason why he left his cat there?,
Charlie x

Confused01

365days wrote: »

So he never invites you to any social events at the weekends? Can you contact him easily at weekends or do you always go to voicemail?

Op I smell a rat and a big one at that. You need to find out the truth and quick so you can make INFORMED decisions about where you go next.

I can contact him if I need/want to. I think I'm worse when it comes to not answering my phone than he is!

Confused01

Mojisola wrote: »

So is it officially rented out and does he comply with all his legal duties as a landlord and pay tax on the rental income?

Getting off track here. What he does with his property, how it's rented out isn't relevant to the situation.

burnoutbabe

Are you his girlfriend on facebook? that would rule out him having another life (assuming his friends and family also on it and its not a fake profile)

Just get the train down if you don't like motorways?

Its 3 months now, passed the worry stage so now is the time to tell both families (and both be at each others houses when you do). His mum can hardly fuss over you if you are miles away and she has no contact with you.

Ah I see you are NOT friends on facebook. thats really odd for someone you are dating/living with.

Confused01

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

Yes, I have come across it too - the husband was working away during the week in London (living with his girlfriend) and going home to Manchester at weekends to be with his wife and children. He eventually got rumbled when his wife found out about his double life.

OP when he is with you during the week, does he leave his mobile lying around or does he keep it close to him, take it into the bathroom with him, etc?

I really hope it isn't anything like this, but you are about to have a baby together, you need to feel secure in this relationship (and yes I know we are probably not helping!).

His mobile is always lying around, he's never hidden it from me or been secretive with it. If he goes to the loo or something he just leaves it where it is.