Don't know what to do!

IHateDida

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

I have to say, as a grandmother of two lovely girls, and 'inherited' g'kids, I would have been devastated if my son had chosen not to tell me. It seems all the more strange because he visits his mum every weekend, so it seems they must be reasonably close.

We didn't tell my OH's nor my family until I was just over 4 months - and we see my family daily!

I still haven't told all of my family (who I don't see regularly) - for me its a combination of "its none of their business" and also concerned in case anything goes wrong. And I'm at 41 weeks today!:D

I just think that the OP needs to talk to her OH - you can suspect everything - your mind will be on overdrive especially with all the pregnancy hormones. But you will never get to the bottom of things unless you talk to one another.

Seriously OP - you need to get things sorted and clearer in your own mind about where your relationship is heading - there's not just 2 adults to consider any more - an innocent baby is on its way - and there's not much time left to be playing mind games or second guessing one another.

Confused01

Slinky_Malinky wrote: »

As his co-habiting partner, why are you not invited to Sunday lunch too? Not very nice to swan off and leave you behind alone, even if you only joined him occaisionally. His family can`t be that bad if he sees them every weekend. Sorry to say I smell a rat here...

Weekends, or at least Sunday's I and my siblings go to my dads where we all make a roast dinner together, it's been a bit of a tradition for a good few years since our mum passed away. He's been there a couple of times.

As for not going to his, he always reminds me of the fact that I don't travel well on motorways (I get really anxious) but he is also aware that I do travel for things like friends birthdays/Christmas parties so it's not impossible for me to go with him.

kazwookie

Confused01 wrote: »

As for not going to his, he always reminds me of the fact that I don't travel well on motorways (I get really anxious) but he is also aware that I do travel for things like friends birthdays/Christmas parties so it's not impossible for me to go with him.

Well in that case, I suggest you go with him this week, and have done with it.

Odd how HE reminds you, you don't travel well, that makes it all the worse as though he is putting you off.

Get in the car this weekend and go with him / make or break so to speak

I am sure your father won't mind for one week you not beingthere to help cook Sunday lunch.

Person_one

Confused01 wrote: »

Weekends, or at least Sunday's I and my siblings go to my dads where we all make a roast dinner together, it's been a bit of a tradition for a good few years since our mum passed away. He's been there a couple of times.

As for not going to his, he always reminds me of the fact that I don't travel well on motorways (I get really anxious) but he is also aware that I do travel for things like friends birthdays/Christmas parties so it's not impossible for me to go with him.

Ok, this is all starting to get very convoluted, do you mind if I clarify a few things?

You've been together a year, how did you meet?

He goes to work Friday till Sunday, where is he Monday to Thursday?

If he hasn't lived in his own flat for months, is it still rented out and why isn't he helping out with your costs?

What was the situation in which you did meet his parents?

Are you friends on facebook? Have you met his friends? Do you ever do things together that aren't just the two of you and your family?

Have you ever brought up the subject of his family coming to visit you both at yours? That would solve the travel [STRIKE]excuse[/STRIKE] problem.

Person_one

OP, I hope this doesn't sound insensitive, but at three months pregnant its quite important that you get to the bottom of all this while you still have options regarding the pregnancy.

SavingPennies_2

Has any of his siblings got children? what kind of relationship do they have with his parents?

Confused01

Person_one wrote: »

Ok, this is all starting to get very convoluted, do you mind if I clarify a few things?

You've been together a year, how did you meet? We met through a work thing, we're both in the same field, different companies

He goes to work Friday till Sunday, where is he Monday to Thursday? Monday to Thursday he's at my place, Friday to Sunday evening he goes to see his family/friends.

If he hasn't lived in his own flat for months, is it still rented out and why isn't he helping out with your costs? It's still rented out, although he apparently wants to sell it and get a place closer to my area./B]


What was the situation in which you did meet his parents? He took me to meet them when they were having a get together for his brothers birthday

Are you friends on facebook? Have you met his friends? Do you ever do things together that aren't just the two of you and your family? Not friends on FB, mine is generally just to keep up to date with friends and family that have moved away. I've met a few of his friends, the girls were ok, the guys were...a little rude

Have you ever brought up the subject of his family coming to visit you both at yours? That would solve the travel [STRIKE]excuse[/STRIKE] problem. I have, he just made more excuses

..............

Confused01

SavingPennies wrote: »

Has any of his siblings got children? what kind of relationship do they have with his parents?

As far as I know, they all have good relationships with their parents.

This baby would be the first grandchild for both his parents and my dad.

charlie3090

apologies op,can you please clarify how he introduced you to his family?,
was it "this is my girlfriend" or this is --- who I work with?,
Charlie x

Confused01

charlie3090 wrote: »

apologies op,can you please clarify how he introduced you to his family?,
was it "this is my girlfriend" or this is --- who I work with?,
Charlie x

Oh sorry

He introduced me as his girlfriend.