Don't know what to do!

FBaby

What's his past history in terms of relationships?

FatVonD

Confused01 wrote: »

He doesn't pay anything towards my place, he does have his own in London, I've been there, he rented it out when he had to go to Germany for a few months for his job (before we met) and he's just never gone back.

He has a wife that thinks he's staying in London midweek.

Confused01 wrote: »

He goes to work on a Friday morning and comes back Sunday evening, I go to my dads place for the weekend, If I don't need to work on Saturday (have done since before we got together).

He's going home to his wife at weekends

Confused01 wrote: »

As for the secret family, yeah that crossed my mind before, so much so that I Googled him, he did tell me in advance that I would see stuff about him and his ex trying to set up a business, from what I know she lives in America now, since the shop attempt didn't take off.

He is still married, she is still in this country and they are still together.

I agree with Person one, you need to push for the truth while you still have options.

365days

So he sleeps at yours Sun - Thursday night, getting up each morning and going to work and then sleeps elsewhere Friday and Saturday night?

Since you he has lived with you has he ever had a 'week away'?

SavingPennies_2

Ah okay so first grandchild that could explain his nervousness about telling them.

Have you made plans to move in together properly? Or marriage - if its what you want? Do you think perhaps he isnt fully commited to this relationship and that's why he doesnt want to tell his family. I think that seems more likely than a double life.

charlie3090

That sounds much more positive,
we could speculate forever on his reasoning,on the one hand he could be genuine what he says about his mum being overbearing,
on the other hand he could have a secret life.
Did he seem keen to take you to the family get together?,if so then maybe what he says is genuine.
Have you asked him why you couldnt travel by train if you dont like motorways?
imo I do think that if he stays with you all week he should be chipping in with costs etc.
What does your gut instinct tell you?,is he secretive with his phone/computer etc,any unexpected work calls in the evening?.
Whatever is going on your priority has to be your health and wellbeing,
Charlie x

jillie1974

the living with you mon-thurs and then off to his family/friends rings alarm bells for me. how far away do they live from you?

why does it need to be very week?

charlie3090

On a sneaky note, do you know the address of his flat,electoral rolls are very useful;)

Confused01

365days wrote: »

So he sleeps at yours Sun - Thursday night, getting up each morning and going to work and then sleeps elsewhere Friday and Saturday night?

Since you he has lived with you has he ever had a 'week away'?

Since he's been staying with me, no.

We finish work around the same time and is back around an hour after me.

SavingPennies;

He has asked me if I would consider moving to a new place, whilst where I live now is nice, it's not very big so he want's somewhere with more space.

charlie3090

Confused01 wrote: »

Since he's been staying with me, no.

We finish work around the same time and is back around an hour after me.

SavingPennies;

He has asked me if I would consider moving to a new place, whilst where I live now is nice, it's not very big so he want's somewhere with more space.

has he mentioned getting rid of his flat?,
please think carefully before getting rid of your flat,
Charlie x

Mojisola

jillie1974 wrote: »

the living with you mon-thurs and then off to his family/friends rings alarm bells for me. how far away do they live from you?

So he lives off you during the week and his parents during the weekend and has his salary and the rental income from his flat for himself?