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Don't know what to do!
Comments
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I think it's a big jump from his making an excuse not to mention your pregnancy to thinking you're going to be a single parent.
That aside, things certainly don't sound right. If you're a committed couple with a baby on the way, why does he spend every weekend eating with his parents and yet you've only met them once? Why don't you go to his house?
Are you sure he's visiting his parents and not his other family?:eek:
Seriously, OP, time to start talking."Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell" - Edward Abbey.0 -
Instead of thinking he is embarrassed about you, have you thought he may be embarrassed about his family.
Maybe his Mum wouldn't leave you alone, and he is just protecting you.
It is very hard to admit you have a dysfunctional family, even to someone you love.
Especially as he knows your family are not.
He may also feel that it will change how you see him.0 -
He doesn't pay anything towards my place, he does have his own in London, I've been there, he rented it out when he had to go to Germany for a few months for his job (before we met) and he's just never gone back.
He goes to work on a Friday morning and comes back Sunday evening, I go to my dads place for the weekend, If I don't need to work on Saturday (have done since before we got together).
As for the secret family, yeah that crossed my mind before, so much so that I Googled him, he did tell me in advance that I would see stuff about him and his ex trying to set up a business, from what I know she lives in America now, since the shop attempt didn't take off.
He seems happy about the pregnancy, he's already wanting to go check out baby/nursery stuff.0 -
Confused01 wrote: »He spends most of his time at my place, commuting to London everyday for his work. He see's his family most weekends (Sunday roast, that sort of thing)..
Apologies for the following questions and of course feel free not to say anything more than you feel comfortable with... but...
Does he officially live with you (on the electoral roll, registered at your gp, has his bank statements delivered to your home etc) or does he maintain a home somewhere else. If he does have a home somewhere else, have you ever been there?
When you say he sees his family most weekends - do you mean that he generally spends weekdays with you and weekends with his family?
I have to say, as a grandmother of two lovely girls, and 'inherited' g'kids, I would have been devastated if my son had chosen not to tell me. It seems all the more strange because he visits his mum every weekend, so it seems they must be reasonably close.
EDIT - cross posted with OP's post on the same subjectI'm a retired employment solicitor. Hopefully some of my comments might be useful, but they are only my opinion and not intended as legal advice.0 -
As his co-habiting partner, why are you not invited to Sunday lunch too? Not very nice to swan off and leave you behind alone, even if you only joined him occaisionally. His family can`t be that bad if he sees them every weekend. Sorry to say I smell a rat here...0
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Confused01 wrote: »As for the secret family, yeah that crossed my mind before..
Really?? Christ, it was a joke! Oh dear, lovey. This all sounds rather a stressful situation, what with the baby and everything"Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell" - Edward Abbey.0 -
I think his explanation might make sense, but I also understand why you feel a bit miffed.
Maybe his parents don't really approve of children out of wedlock, so he's a bit anxious about breaking the news?
Has your BF made any steps to secure your relationship or plan for the future, since you discovered you are going to be parents?
Also, I’m not a great believer of thegenuine term “ unplanned pregnancy” (I don’t think the OP used it but it hasbeen mentioned in this thread). Don’t get me wrong, obviously there as somecases where contraception was being used 100% to the letter, and still failedBUT I think the majority of people who have a so called “surprise baby” havebeen a bit sloppy with their contraception, if using it at all, and in thiscase, I don’t see why they are surprised when the obvious happens!
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Confused01 wrote: »He goes to work on a Friday morning and comes back Sunday evening, I go to my dads place for the weekend, If I don't need to work on Saturday (have done since before we got together).
Is there any reason why you can't go with him to London on the weekends that you don't need to work on a Saturday.
I must admit, I think I would be feeling paranoid about the need to keep the relationship and baby an apparent secret from a family that he seems to spend so much time with.I'm a retired employment solicitor. Hopefully some of my comments might be useful, but they are only my opinion and not intended as legal advice.0 -
Do his family know that he lives with you all week?
When you did meet them, how did he introduce you - here's a friend, here's my GF who I live with?0 -
Hi
It sounds to be as if you are the other person, he goes home to another female friend at the weekends, he has possibly told her he is away all week working, staying in hotels etc......................................
Wise up and have a very blunt conversation with him, / trace his family via fb or similar / ask him if any thing happened to him while he was with you ie Monday to Friday, who should you call, do you have a number for the family?
If you do have a number, I would be ringing it and inviting the family round for dinner one night to tell them the 'news'
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