Don't know what to do!

charlie3090

Confused,that sounds a lot better that you can contact him if you need to at weekends,is he a creature of habit?,
possibly hes just trying to keep everyone happy and maybe once his family know about the baby,you will be getting all the attention,
men can be strange creatures;),
imo I think he might be shocked if you told him how upset you are,
he probably hasnt given it a thought,
Charlie x

tiger_eyes

Confused01 wrote: »

Yeah I always thought that was something that happened in soaps, then we found out my uncle had a whole secret life away from his wife and kids :eek:

I'm glad you're keeping an open mind. I only found out after eight years that someone I trusted absolutely had a wife on the side, so I always worry when people say they know their partner isn't cheating on them. You may believe that, but you can never absolutely know that.

Mojisola

19lottie82 wrote: »

What's that got to do with the OP's situation?

Not relevant here IMO

If I was GF to someone who lived off me during the week, off his parents during the weekend and also pocketed all the money from the friends who are renting his flat, it would add to the picture of what he's like.

Person_one

I'm still very uneasy about all of this.

I think you need to have a Very Serious Talk, sit at a table for it, that usually helps.

Don't let him fob you off or make excuses, if you're going to have a child with him you need complete honesty, openness, commitment and teamwork.

Mojisola

Confused01 wrote: »

His mobile is always lying around, he's never hidden it from me or been secretive with it. If he goes to the loo or something he just leaves it where it is.

Some people have more than one mobile phone.

whitewing

I am married and had a planned baby with a husband who likes children. Even so, I was surprised and hurt by how little he was interested in the pregnancy. The baby was just not real to him until it was physically out in the wide world. The day she was born, he was overwhelmed with love for the both of us but up until that point, he had to force more than a passing interest.

Kayalana99

I think your over worrying tbh, after a few things have been said I think it doesn't sound fishy at all, he goes to see his fam at weekend and you see yours.. and maybe it could just be that simple?

It seems to me he has actally said his mum would be really happy for you both i.e...getting to excited and really invovled.

Perhaps he is really close to his Mum but doesn't want her to get to invovled with his personal life(as some mums do!)..which he knows she will do if they have a baby. As now it suits him that he see's his fam and you see yours...if he is correct and by what you said I bet once baby is born she will be demanding you come down with him time to time

Person_one

Kayalana99 wrote: »

I think your over worrying tbh, after a few things have been said I think it doesn't sound fishy at all, he goes to see his fam at weekend and you see yours.. and maybe it could just be that simple?

It seems to me he has actally said his mum would be really happy for you both i.e...getting to excited and really invovled.

Perhaps he is really close to his Mum but doesn't want her to get to invovled with his personal life(as some mums do!)..which he knows she will do if they have a baby. As now it suits him that he see's his fam and you see yours...if he is correct and by what you said I bet once baby is born she will be demanding you come down with him time to time

She's only met his family once even though he gets on with them and visits weekly, he won't tell them about the baby even though she wants him to, and when pushed about her visiting he tells her she can't because she doesn't like motorways, even though she travels on them to visit other people.

Sorry, still sounds fishy to me. Maybe not secret family fishy (and I know a real life case too, so clearly not as uncommon as all that!) but definitely a distinct whiff.

I'm unclear about his working hours OP, could you clarify where and what days he works?

lostinrates

Would he go to his family home at weekends if you didn't go to your fathers? Is he clearing out to not be inbound home without you?

burnoutbabe

what is the plan for when baby comes? he still goes home friday-Monday and leaves you to it? that would have to change wouldn't it, has he said it will be different?

I'd be suggesting moving to a rental together nearer his job for a while, to reduce his commuting costs and maximise time with baby.