Fathers Day - am I being unreasonable?

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  • MrSmartprice
    MrSmartprice Posts: 17,625 Forumite
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    OK, I'll try to keep this short.......

    My partner discovered religion about 3 years ago (after previously being quite anti) She talked me into going with her a few times, but my feelings remain the same, so after quite a bit of arguing (and a resultant quite rough patch) we both accepted the others viewpoint, so she goes on a sunday and to a church group one evening a week.

    She also takes the kids to church on a Sunday which I am not keen on, but accept. The kids really enjoy it, mainly because its a very progressive modern church so its quite relaxed and the kids do their own thing and get [STRIKE]bribed[/STRIKE] given sweets, cakes and stuff.

    Now, we have got into a routine where I just accept that as I don't want to go on Sunday, then we don't do things together as a family on Sunday.

    Last year to my surprise and delight my Partner decided not to go to Church on Fathers Day as she accepted it was not my thing and wanted us to spend the day together which was lovely and I really valued.

    Fast forward to this year and I was kind of hoping that the same might happen, but I've been told that the kids are putting on a play for the Dads at Church......and my kids have key roles in the play so they have to be there......and in turn the expectation is that I will be there, or what I really mean is I have been told how not fair it would be on the kids / what a bad person I am for not coming.

    Net result is that I will go for the kids, but its put me in a grumpy mood all week and I've been made to feel like the bad guy in all of this for not been keen / willing.

    Is it that wrong of me to have thought (expected) that my partner may have put me first on Fathers Day?????

    I have every sympathy with you, and this sort of insidious brainwashing is how the church works. Get 'em young, provide the bribes, and peddle all the nonsense before they are old enough to be able to tell truth from fairy tales.

    In your position, I would make sure the children were told, in equal measure to their church activities, that religion is in fact bunkum and let them make their own decisions. Your opinion is as important to them as your partner's.

    I would not have been attending the Fathers' Day nonsense the church had arranged, as no doubt it will have been religion-based. But then having a partner that 'got religion' would indeed be a deal-breaker for me. Thankfully it will never happen here!

    Having been away for the weekend, I missed most of the thread. But perhaps it would have been better to have stated that as it was Fathers' Day, you would have preferred breakfast in bed to being dragged off to a draughty old church to listen to fairy stories.
  • thorsoak
    thorsoak Posts: 7,166 Forumite
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    I have every sympathy with you, and this sort of insidious brainwashing is how the church works. Get 'em young, provide the bribes, and peddle all the nonsense before they are old enough to be able to tell truth from fairy tales.

    In your position, I would make sure the children were told, in equal measure to their church activities, that religion is in fact bunkum and let them make their own decisions. Your opinion is as important to them as your partner's.

    I would not have been attending the Fathers' Day nonsense the church had arranged, as no doubt it will have been religion-based. But then having a partner that 'got religion' would indeed be a deal-breaker for me. Thankfully it will never happen here!

    Having been away for the weekend, I missed most of the thread. But perhaps it would have been better to have stated that as it was Fathers' Day, you would have preferred breakfast in bed to being dragged off to a draughty old church to listen to fairy stories.


    So you'd prefer to worship at the altar of St Clinton of the Cards? Or Lady Moonpig.com?
  • Treevo
    Treevo Posts: 1,937 Forumite
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    thorsoak wrote: »
    So you'd prefer to worship at the altar of St Clinton of the Cards? Or Lady Moonpig.com?

    Are they the only options? I can't say I was worshipping at anything today.
  • MrSmartprice
    MrSmartprice Posts: 17,625 Forumite
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    thorsoak wrote: »
    So you'd prefer to worship at the altar of St Clinton of the Cards? Or Lady Moonpig.com?

    I despise the materialistic nonsense that surrounds all these cardfests. Although I admit I chuckled at the card my daughter sent me!:o

    I can't see why anyone would spend a fortune on cards. We bought a card for a good friend's upcoming birthday yesterday and it cost 69p. That's plenty. :cool:

    But, in answer to what I think was your question, I wouldn't worship at those, nor anywhere else. Somebody (probably TQ;)) said we are all sinners. Well, I'm not!:)
  • thorsoak
    thorsoak Posts: 7,166 Forumite
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    The point I'm trying to make is that surely, the fact that the OP's children were putting all their time and energy into a play for their dad would mean far more to most dads than a card and another mug saying "best dad" ....

    But hey ....each to their own !
  • barbarawright
    barbarawright Posts: 1,846 Forumite
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    The OP doesn't actually seem interested in anyone else's opinion but it's been an interesting thread
  • poet123
    poet123 Posts: 24,099 Forumite
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    I wonder if he went?
  • mandragora_2
    mandragora_2 Posts: 2,611 Forumite
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    He's still in his room with his hands over his ears singing 'Lalalalalal! I can't hear you, I can't hear you'
    Reason for edit? Can spell, can't type!
  • midnightraven3
    midnightraven3 Posts: 2,720 Forumite
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    if the mother and children were "wanting to make dad happy" they would have done fathers day the way the OP would have enjoyed. I find it strange the children are unaware of dads stance in all of this, surely they know dad isnt into going to church?
    yes as parents we all go to things we dont want to and suck it up (3 children and countless plays/concerts/displays under my belt) but school plays etc are different
    the church is putting in a play for fathers day, and the mother KNOWS how he feels and still insists on participation and attendance from the dad
    hmmmm
  • Mimi_Arc_en_ciel
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    As a parent you do ALOT of things with your kids that you don't necessarily want to do. The point it you do them because you are a PARENT

    Do you give gifts at christmas? Do you give easter eggs to your kids? Do you go to the school nativity? No so anti religious then are you?

    an hour and a half (tops) to see your kids put on a play for you (WHO by the way, had lead parts! thats an achievement!)

    I do hope you went and didnt kick up a fuss - your attendance was FOR YOUR KIDS, and not for god

    (P.S Pigpen - i love your way with words, as always lol)
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