Fathers Day - am I being unreasonable?

OK, I'll try to keep this short.......

My partner discovered religion about 3 years ago (after previously being quite anti) She talked me into going with her a few times, but my feelings remain the same, so after quite a bit of arguing (and a resultant quite rough patch) we both accepted the others viewpoint, so she goes on a sunday and to a church group one evening a week.

She also takes the kids to church on a Sunday which I am not keen on, but accept. The kids really enjoy it, mainly because its a very progressive modern church so its quite relaxed and the kids do their own thing and get [STRIKE]bribed[/STRIKE] given sweets, cakes and stuff.

Now, we have got into a routine where I just accept that as I don't want to go on Sunday, then we don't do things together as a family on Sunday.

Last year to my surprise and delight my Partner decided not to go to Church on Fathers Day as she accepted it was not my thing and wanted us to spend the day together which was lovely and I really valued.

Fast forward to this year and I was kind of hoping that the same might happen, but I've been told that the kids are putting on a play for the Dads at Church......and my kids have key roles in the play so they have to be there......and in turn the expectation is that I will be there, or what I really mean is I have been told how not fair it would be on the kids / what a bad person I am for not coming.

Net result is that I will go for the kids, but its put me in a grumpy mood all week and I've been made to feel like the bad guy in all of this for not been keen / willing.

Is it that wrong of me to have thought (expected) that my partner may have put me first on Fathers Day?????
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Comments

  • notanewuser
    notanewuser Posts: 8,499 Forumite
    No good comes of religion.
    Trying to be a man is a waste of a woman
  • poet123
    poet123 Posts: 24,099 Forumite
    I have to say that I do think that you are being unreasonable. The kids will have wanted to be part of the church event and also want you to be there. What is your partner supposed to do? Tell them that they can't be in it? It won't be all day of a thing, go with good grace, enjoy your kids, and then do something later as a family.
  • balletshoes
    balletshoes Posts: 16,610 Forumite
    Have I missed something OP? Is there a reason why you can't go to church, see your kids in their limelight, then all go off and do family stuff together the rest of the day on Fathers Day?
  • iammumtoone
    iammumtoone Posts: 6,377
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post I've been Money Tipped!
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    I think it is fair that you go as last year your partner didn't go for your sake, so for her sake (and the kids) you should go this year. Also as others have said your kids will have made friends there and I expect will be looking forward to being in the play with them.

    Its only a morning can't you arrange to got out straight after as a family for the rest of fathers day.
  • notanewuser
    notanewuser Posts: 8,499 Forumite
    poet123 wrote: »
    I have to say that I do think that you are being unreasonable. The kids will have wanted to be part of the church event and also want you to be there. What is your partner supposed to do? Tell them that they can't be in it? It won't be all day of a thing, go with good grace, enjoy your kids, and then do something later as a family.

    Only because the OP has let the mum brainwash his kids!!

    I'd have been out of there before she had the chance.
    Trying to be a man is a waste of a woman
  • HeadAboveWater
    HeadAboveWater Posts: 3,941
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    I can see it from both sides, but would tend to agree with the above posters.
    the kids are putting on a play for the Dads at Church......and my kids have key roles in the play

    This! I'm sure your kids will be dead excited that their dad is making the effort to come and see them. Shouldn't Fathers Day be about being a daddy?? And a proud one at that!!
    Wealth is what you're left with when all your money runs out
  • Idiophreak
    Idiophreak Posts: 12,024
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    Have to agree with poet123 - leave the religion thing out of it and you've got your kids who have been given key roles in a play to celebrate fathers day - doubtlessly they're proud and excited about what they're doing - and you're grumpy about going to see it...Sorry, but that sounds "unreasonable" to me.
  • Bella73
    Bella73 Posts: 547 Forumite
    Ok so you don't want to go but surely the point is it is Fathers Day and your children and trying to do something they think will make you happy. So be a good Father and just go along and enjoy it, I'm assuming it's not going to last 8 hours or something so this is part of being a Father.

    There will be lots of Fathers out there who don't see their children who would give their right arm to be in your position.

    Plus being in a bad mood all weeks strikes me as rather childish to be honest...do you always stamp your feet when you don't get your own way?

    Fathers Day is about children showing their Dad how much they care...this is what your children are doing for you not sure you could ask for much more to be honest, wait until they are older and don't give you time of day then you might be able to moan a bit.
  • mandragora_2
    mandragora_2 Posts: 2,611
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    edited 14 June 2013 at 4:29PM
    If school did a nativity play and you were free to go along and see it, would you? If yes, then go; if no, then have a lie in. Either way, smile and enjoy them while they are this age. It sounds like you and your partner are raising lovely children between you.
    Reason for edit? Can spell, can't type!
  • poet123
    poet123 Posts: 24,099 Forumite
    Only because the OP has let the mum brainwash his kids!!

    I'd have been out of there before she had the chance.

    In your opinion, of course.;)
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