Fathers Day - am I being unreasonable?

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  • Kaz2904
    Kaz2904 Posts: 5,797 Forumite
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    We're having Father's Day tomorrow (well today now) because I'm working on Saturday night and Sunday night so won't be awake to supervise the kids preparing breakfast for their Dad. Sometimes, you just have to make the best of what you have. DH will be on his own with the kids on Father's Day. I will be looking after other people's Dads instead.
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  • mcfisco
    mcfisco Posts: 1,955 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    How long does a Sunday church service take, in your experience? In mine, its an hour at the most, usually shorter when there are children's performances involved, and its over before noon. The OP isn't missing Fathers Day with his family, he's missing one hour of Fathers Day with his family, if he chooses not to go to church and see his kids in their performance?

    Oh, I dunno
    Those happy clappy places seem to go on forever, there's one near me and they seem to be there most of the day, maybe they get into some sort of euphoric trance like state and sort of get stuck in some sort of loop.
    If I were the OP, I'd go for the performance and then hit the nearest bar until they finish up doing their other stuff.
    I have long known that it is part of God's plan for me to spend a little time with each of the most stupid people on earth.
  • Dunroamin
    Dunroamin Posts: 16,908 Forumite
    Deanied wrote: »
    I think your partner is selfish. She is putting her religion before you. She could have told the Sunday school leaders weeks ago that your children wouldn't be part of the service as they would be spending the time with you, but chose not to in order to manipulate you into attending church.
    .

    I thought you were just being sarcastic and then, unfortunately, I realised that you actually meant it!
  • unschooler
    unschooler Posts: 41 Forumite
    If you strongly object to your children being involved in religion you have as much right to shield them from it as your partner does to take them. Then it's about a parenting disagreement and that needs to be sorted out. If you're an atheist trying to protect your children from religion that's a valid reason to keep them out of church, just like it's valid for a religious person to want them to follow that religion.

    If you don't mind too much as long as you don't have to go along, then church on Sunday shouldn't be a problem.

    Either way, tomorrow isn't the day to take issue with it. Your kids want you there and, for tomorrow at least, that's the whole story.
  • meer53
    meer53 Posts: 10,217 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Deanied wrote: »
    I think your partner is selfish. She is putting her religion before you. She could have told the Sunday school leaders weeks ago that your children wouldn't be part of the service as they would be spending the time with you, but chose not to in order to manipulate you into attending church.

    I'm sure if you arranged for the kids to do something on Mothering Sunday, which meant she would have to miss church, she would not be happy.

    The children ARE doing something for their Dad, they're taking part in a service for all the Dads seeing as it's Fathers Day.

    How do you think the OP's kids would have felt being told that they can't take part because their Dad doesn't want them to ? Do you have children ?

    It's the OP who would be being selfish if he didn't go. Blimey, they're not going to be there all day are they ?
  • fluffnutter
    fluffnutter Posts: 23,179 Forumite
    I'm an atheist, plane_boy, but I'd still find it perfectly easy to go to church and watch my kids in a play. Would you go to a nativity play at school? Try to see it as something to support your kids rather than part of a battle between your religious wife and your own beliefs.

    Not sharing a faith doesn't have to be a source of conflict. As Billy Connolly said 'I don't believe in God, but I believe in people who do'.
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  • paulineb_2
    paulineb_2 Posts: 6,489 Forumite
    Im one of these people who believes that not only religion is a crock of !!!!, but so is mothers and fathers day. Its an american tradition, brought over here. Ive never celebrated mothers day with my mum, she doesnt want me to, she really couldnt care less about it and never has and I was soundly berated on facebook for saying my family dont do mothers day.

    By someone who was convinced he was better than I was because he bought his mum a 99p card from poundland but yet didnt buy his ex wife a card from his kids because he cant stand her.

    Its entirely up to you if you go or dont go. Im sure your kids appreciate you every single day. And if you need to have more discussion with your partner about whether you are comfortable with the kids going to church then do that.

    And no disrespect to anyone who does love mother and fathers day. I never see my father, havent for 40 years, his choice. These holidays take for granted that everyone has a mum and a dad and I prefer to show my mum I care about her on any day I choose, not just some hallmark holiday.

    Being in a strop about doing something that involves your kids for a week I think is a bit much. Either go or dont, but have the courage to stand by your decision.
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,557 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    paulineb wrote: »
    Im one of these people who believes that not only religion is a crock of !!!!, but so is mothers and fathers day. Its an american tradition, brought over here.

    Father's Day might be but Mothering Sunday is a very English tradition.
  • jackieblack
    jackieblack Posts: 10,316 Forumite
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    edited 15 June 2013 at 6:20PM
    Mojisola wrote: »
    Father's Day might be but Mothering Sunday is a very English tradition.
    Actually, Mothering Sunday is a Christian holiday celebrated throughout Europe, from 16th Century. On the 4th Sunday of Lent, people returned to their 'mother church'.
    Eventually, the religious tradition evolved into the Mothering Sunday secular tradition of giving gifts to mothers. :)
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  • pigpen
    pigpen Posts: 40,985 Forumite
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    I went several years running to see my children in their Mothering Sunday production.. a couple of songs and a sweet little play.. I didn't even burn up on entry to the church!! Quite shocking!!

    I don't go to church but I respect other people do choose to go.. it has led to some very interesting conversations tbh.

    Just be glad your wife is not an alcoholic or abusive and inflicting all the crap that comes with that on the children. They will be able to make an informed choice when they are older about whether they want to continue going or not.. but at least they have the benefit of experience to base it on rather than being 'brainwashed' by non-believing parents into thinking it is all rubbish. What is the difference between one set of parents saying it is all rubbish and another trying to give them another experience? I can't see any to be honest.. just different parenting choices.

    Church provides children with friends and a few hours out on a Sunday.. as well as 'nice' stories, singing, playing games, craft activities and teaches them about social skills.. meeting and interacting with others.. it isn't ALL biscuits and cake!

    OP.. I encouraged my XH to take our children.. they had a great time, made long term friends. He stopped going when he left (due to hangovers!!!) and 4 of our children still go. They haven't been molested or turned into demons. They don't drink goats blood or make human sacrifices... the vicar spouts a little too much homophobic $h!te for my liking but the children get a balanced view from home .. for the sake of an hour and a half at most I think you are being a bit of a nelly.. Go, take part in your childrens childhood and stop being childish.. sulked all week over this? Really?? If I was your child I'd be thinking well F*** you I'll not bother getting you a card or anything else if you can't appreciate the work I've put into this play for you!

    I didn't see my children on Mothers day this year and their dad didn't have them on fathers day last year.. man up!

    Count yourself lucky you have children with the ability to do this and that you get to see them every day and share these things which are important to them!
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