Fathers Day - am I being unreasonable?

thorsoak

midnightraven3 wrote: »

if the mother and children were "wanting to make dad happy" they would have done fathers day the way the OP would have enjoyed. I find it strange the children are unaware of dads stance in all of this, surely they know dad isnt into going to church?
yes as parents we all go to things we dont want to and suck it up (3 children and countless plays/concerts/displays under my belt) but school plays etc are different
the church is putting in a play for fathers day, and the mother KNOWS how he feels and still insists on participation and attendance from the dad
hmmmm

hmmm indeed! Are you saying that because father doesn't like it, mother shouldn't go?

Treevo

thorsoak wrote: »

hmmm indeed! Are you saying that because father doesn't like it, mother shouldn't go?

They seem to be saying that mother should realise that fathers' day is about the father and not her religious beliefs. I wonder how she would react if the father organised something overtly non-religious on Mothering Sunday?

Treevo

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

Do you give gifts at christmas? Do you give easter eggs to your kids? Do you go to the school nativity? No so anti religious then are you?

You could also ask why so many Christians participate in pagan festivities but call it 'Christmas'?

Christmas in modern day Britain is not exclusively a religious event. It's as religious as you make it. Judging by the minuscule numbers of people attending churches at these times, it's pretty clear that most people don't make it very religious.

duchy

thorsoak wrote: »

The point I'm trying to make is that surely, the fact that the OP's children were putting all their time and energy into a play for their dad would mean far more to most dads than a card and another mug saying "best dad" ....

But hey ....each to their own !

I feel sorry for the kids- A week of Dad grumping because he didn't want to go to "their play"

fashionlover10

notanewuser wrote: »

One of the children is 7. Not old enough to have the questioning skills required to evaluate fully what he's being told.

Sorry I just had to question this. How do you know they're not old enough to question what they're being told?
I grew up in a Roman Catholic household and went to an RC school, church twice a week and Sunday school. At the age of 7, during the summer holidays, I told my mum I didn't believe any of it and I wanted her to take me out of that school. At the start of the new term I was attending a non denominational school and had stop attending church.

I was definitely not brainwashed by the church and very much knew my own mind. As much as I don't believe in religion I don't think it's wise for people to accuse all churches/religions of brainwashing.

pigpen

unschooler wrote: »

Not necessarily. Some churches, some religions, do not allow children to have the benefit of making informed choices. They spend years teaching children if they do not believe and do what they tell them that makes them bad. They tell them that if they do not do these things they are not only bad but will be duly punished in the afterlife.

That isn't purely a couple of hours on a Sunday playing games and having stories though is it? That is day in day out battery of the mind from the church, the family and everyone around them.

More than that, some churches tell the children that their beliefs are facts. How are they then to learn critical thinking or an understanding of the scientific method or being able to work out logically what they want to believe?

Because they are capable of individual thought

How do children who are being taught that the world is only six thousand years old and given 'proof' that this is so, and told that people who don't believe this are sinners going to be able to step away from that as adults and make genuinely informed choices about ALL the available options?

Why should they if that is want to believe? To please others? So long as they aren't actually harming anyone who cares? I can think of worse things to teach children.

Surely being truly informed means learning about lots of different religions and ways of worship and learning about atheism and not favouring any particular thing to spend an hour a week learning about?

Well given that fundamentally the greater percentage of religions are the same.. they may use slightly different terminology but their teachings all boil down to very similar things.. usually because they preach from the same book.. I don't think it matters much what you call it nor about learning about lots of others.

I'm not anti-religion. I just think that when there is an atheist parent and a religious parent, the religious parent doesn't get automatic right to choose how the children are raised. I also think that once a child starts being part of a religion, they are not looking at all options equally.

I think the religious parent gets the right to share their experience with the child and the non-religious parent can share their views too.. raising your child doesn't take 2 hours on a Sunday it is a 24/7 kinda task .. maybe the OP should take 2 hours on another day to tell the children why they don't believe.. in the interests of being fair.. ?

I am anti-religion.. I think it causes nothing but harm in a lot of ways.. more people being killed, wars started etc in the name of religion than have been killed by anything else .. natural disasters, plagues etc all combined.. I think it should be banned but if someone chooses to believe what they do then that is fine by me.

My son who went to church every week from being born until he was 14 has an A-level in critical thinking.. so I don't think it was that damaging. It did however give him another experience to share and base his opinions on, the same as his uniformed services diploma and his martial arts training etc.. it enhanced and broadened his way of thinking. It also gave him an advantage when discussing some topics apparently.

As a parent it is our job to ensure our children experience as many things as possible to broaden their knowledge and understanding.

blackburn_w

Treevo wrote: »

They seem to be saying that mother should realise that fathers' day is about the father and not her religious beliefs. I wonder how she would react if the father organised something overtly non-religious on Mothering Sunday?

i agree completely. but also what would the play be about???

seven-day-weekend

For four years after I became a Christian, my husband wasn't. Although he didn't mind me or our son going to church, he himself was quite anti.

I would not at that time have organised a Fathers' day activity that involved church. I think that is unfair.

(My husband did come to faith later).

anotheruser

notanewuser wrote: »

No good comes of religion.

So don't expect to visit a religious building when someone close to your dies or you need help and support.
People slate church and religion but then turn to it when Princess Diana died and say things like "she has gone to a better place" <-- no, you don't even believe in Heaven or Hell so actually she has gone no where. Her body will simply rot in the ground or be burned into nothing.

Too many people are too close minded about religion because it causes them a bit of hassle in life. Religion teaches about morals and gives advice on how to live (don't steal, don't lie blah blah). I agree with what one religion promotes so I choose to follow that religion.
People often say being a Christian is simply living life feeling guilty. Not a great way to live life no, but if more people didn't lie or steal or had sex before marriage (or at least waited until they were in a proper, true love relationship), think how much better our world would be now.

The problem is power/fame and the love people have of it.
Look at a number of figures in society, Rupert Murd of News Corp for example who wants to own everything in media.
Even forums such as this will never delete users who have never posted or last logged in 10+ years ago so they can boast about how many users they have.

The other problem is science and it's lust (for power?) to try and explain everything. Unfortunately for science, it cannot tell us how many grains of sand there are on the beaches, or how many stars there are in the sky. They can estimate but it can be wrong and therefore should not be taught as fact.
Science is desperate to explain where we came from that it fails to see where we are going. Greenhouse gasses is a true testament to this. If someone did a bit of research, we could have slowed down our fossil fuel burning decades ago!



Back to the OP though (even though the date has gone):
Unreasonable, yes, slightly, but I understand why.
My question to you is, why are you not supporting your wife and kids with the whole "going to church" thing? Embarrassed? Think it's a waste of time? Supporting your family in their choices, even when you think they are wrong, is one of the best forms of love you can ever show to anyone.

Valli

anotheruser wrote: »

Even forums such as this will never delete users who have never posted or last logged in 10+ years ago so they can boast about how many users they have.

Given the site is only 10 years old that would prove somewhat difficult;)