marrige falling apart .don't know what to do

Errata

coolcait wrote: »

Whatever the exact legal reasons behind it, I totally agree that the medical profession should never disclose personal medical information to a third party.

Fair enough, but when it's the next of kin and a spouse and cancer I think the GP takes a considered approach, unless the patient has forbidden their primary care team to divulge any information to their spouse or children.
Vast numbers children talk to a parent's GP about the parents dementia and what support would be most appropriate.

Georgiegirl256

crying_inside wrote: »

Because I was not with her when she had the chemo . She wanted to go alone.
Is it possible that she could of had a cat scan and results meeting in the same morning .less than 2 hours. ?

But you said she was hit for 6 and lost some hair, you didn't have to have been there with her to have seen that, so if this is true, why are you still doubting her?

coolcait

Errata wrote: »

Fair enough, but when it's the next of kin and a spouse and cancer I think the GP takes a considered approach, unless the patient has forbidden their primary care team to divulge any information to their spouse or children.
Vast numbers children talk to a parent's GP about the parents dementia and what support would be most appropriate.

That's a different scenario, however.

There is no suggestion (yet) that the OP's spouse is not competent to take decisions about her own care.

If she has chosen not to share details of her putative illness and treatment with the OP, then a medical professional should respect that.

Particularly in a situation where - from what the OP has told us - this isn't just about the fact that his spouse appears to be a lying, scheming, debtridden, spendthrift manipulator.

It is also about the fact that the OP himself - from what he tells us, with all of the caveats that phrase involves - has a history of violent behaviour towards his spouse, and in front of his children.

This violent behaviour, by his own account, happens when he is drunk, having consumed a significant amount of strong alcohol in a short space of time. And, sometimes, having also taken copious quantities of prescription drugs - apparently in excess of the prescribed dosages.

At the least the GP in the story appears to be acting 'normally'. That may be suspicious in itself.

Ronaldo_Mconaldo

I knew it was a troll when it turned out the wife had walked out a week ago and moved into a house across the road. Comedy gold, keep it coming, OP, this is hilarious, then what happened?

pearl123

From the beginning OP couldn't be bothered to explain his problem properly. Numerous sentences make to no sense at all. Plus he's contradicted himself so many times.

This must be one of the dumbest trolls ever! lol
Either that or it is an extremely drunk person!
My vote goes for a troll!

trevor_john

crying_inside wrote: »

I got to lol at Trevor john. No I am not telling lies . This is what I have been told. Hence I mention a lot of paranoia . It's why I'm venting here. And to view other people thoughts and ideas.

Don't know why you feel the need to laugh at my post. Very strange considering that most posters on here seem to think as I do. By all accounts, you don't have a lot to laugh about do you?

Tell me, what do the children think of their mothers cancer? Are you telling us that she has not told her eldest son or daughter. Do they have no contact with you? Surely they would be able to verify whether she has cancer or not. I mean, the girl only lives opposite you.

Also, if you have absolutely no income at all, like you say, and your wife has spent any savings you had and she is the only one who has access to any benefits, how are you actually existing? How do you get your £1.00 per month to pay your ccj? How do you afford to drink? How do you pay utilities? How are you paying the mortgage? How do you get your food?

If you've got a medical condition which is affecting your ability to look for work, why aren't you also claiming DLA or PIP as it's now known.

I used to work in a GP surgery and all husbands/wives would be able to discuss with their wives/husbands gp if there was a terminal illness involved. Only exception was if a wife/husband gave strict instructions to the contrary if they didn't want their husbands knowing about illness/treatment etc but this doesn't apply in your case does it because she's told you about her illness, prognosis and her treatment choices.......so why won't her gp discuss with you? Doesn't make sense.

I do apologise if this post has you creasing up with hysterical laughter and amusement.

MarilynMonroe_2

Just a thought but maybe if you got a job it would be a start to getting her back? You have money problems and anger problems - address those 2 issues first and see if that makes any difference.

Your reluctance to go on JS sounds like youre reluctant to work/ or at least unsuitable places for you they might make you take, but what if you got a job you liked?.
If nothing changes then nothing changes and she wont come back. If you concetrate on you for a while, and forget her for now, she might remember why she got with you in the first place and come back.

megan01

crying_inside wrote: »

I would not say it's anger problems I have. It s being pushed to the brink. It has been good . A marriage it takes 2 . But how when I am paranoid about her lies. I want to believe she has cancer. Who would lie and say that ? That ripped me apart time the point I denied it . To be told that someone u love is going to die in that way .so young. It would mess up any ones head. I started making a nest egg for me and the kids .I found that she took it around 6 weeks ago. I slept in the setter to stay out of jersey way as it hurt me . For 3 days . She begged me to give back to bed and as for abusive . She has laid into me physically . Punching .slapping .throng things. Dropping hand full of tablets down her neck in front of me. Hit her self over the head with a bottle . Blaming cancer .

I'm sorry but you are the one facilitating yourself to allow yourself to 'get to the brink'. You need to recognise your own boundaries, and when enough is enough for you, and to be able to walk away from the situation before you react how you have. You both sound like you have mental health problems now, which both need addressing. You also lack the ability to recognise that this is not a healthy relationship and that you can't be together.

crying_inside

Trevor john
In answer to your questions.
I have not yet paid my water rates..
I had tax back.
Before this my wife and I had money. Ie ctc cb.
So she bought and paid for everything
My wife was dealing with the ccj
I was paying the 1.00 to my other creditors
And what if my wife has done that.I was at the gps on Friday I saw her doctor. I talked to her doctor. I asked if he could give me info. I got back from him. If someone who has got cancer .by that extent would have died by now. Also he said he could not say anything are all. I have never gone to her GP with her. So he would not put my face with her. So I could be anyone. Right ?

crying_inside

Also Trevor john . She wanted me to keep it quiet. Her words were she did not want time upset people in the family. The pressure on me got so great that I told my kids and I told her daughter. What or how my wife has dealt with it I do not know. Who knows I could of just said it .to get back at her. I don't know. Honcho you trust simeonecwho has lied for so long.?
For someone who has given me hope. The past week. Staying over night. Sleeping together. Kisses and cuddles . What I have just seen on her fb makes me doubt the whole thing.
Seems like she is a sly !!!!!.
She has destroyed me in all ways.
Is what happens I guess. When u have a feeling something is not right. But you make it real in your head. To believe.
How desperate am I to do this .time and time again.
Desperate because she put me here. She holds all the cards. She has my kids. And she is laughing at me.