marrige falling apart .don't know what to do

Springbean

If what you have said is true, then I am finding it hard to feel sorry for you.

You get drunk, push your wife about, smash things in the house in temper, in front of the children and you don't want to get a job.
If I were her, I'd move out too.
I'm not saying that she is an innocent party but thankfully, the children are out of that environment.

heartbreak_star

Don't try and get her back if she has destroyed you.

Stop wallowing in it and pull yourself together for your kids.

Keep seeing the doc and if he gives you medication, take it.

HBS x

pops5588

I really am trying to dig deep to find some sympathy here but...I just can't.

If what you are typing on here is all true, then you and your wife should be thoroughly ashamed of yourselves. Where is your sense of responsibility?? You have come onto a website to ask strangers to help you sort out problems that you and your wife have created. Every word you type drips with self-pity and woe-is-me. What about your children??

My boyfriend has an alcoholic mother who gets volatile and angry when she is drunk and he has been through hell. He has seen the fights, he has been that young boy calling the police to have his mother carted away in a van, he went off to GCSE exams having had 2 hours sleep and having to find somewhere to stay at 3am with his dad and brothers in tow.

I can't be a hypocrite. If I knew that my boyfriend's mother was on here saying the things that you are saying about your own behaviour, I would tell her that the best thing she could ever do for her children is to walk away and never come back. Leave them alone. Let them have a shot at a "normal" happy life.

pearl123

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Keep seeing the doc and if he gives you medication, take it.

HBS x

From the rambling speech going on seeing a doctor would be a very good idea! For yourself.

heartbreak_star

Pearl, I hope you mean for the OP and not me

HBS x

trevorsminted

Op if she has terminal cancer then why bother trying to reconcile? and why would you say she will be ok with child benefit rent for house that is terrible your wife is dying and must be going through hell knowing she will leave her kids motherless, surely you should be attempting to bond with her/young children for when the inevitable happens and ensuring the kids don't suffer to much when she finally passes from cancer.

And how noble you leaving 2 previous kids for her your children must be extremely proud of you!

To all who read this is a tragic story but all is not lost he has a Samsung phone to text to here for help/advice, all is not lost :eek:

Why are the words "some people need to get out and get a life springing to mind right now"

PS... I like a tin of spam now and again !!!

crying_inside

My kids have seen us arguing twice. It is not a regular thing I know it's wrong. I try to get out of the situation before it starts . My kids are not shaking sad little wrecks. They are confident and out going. They love school. All they want is for us to stop arguing . I'm the type of person that will punch a wall or a door. Than to hit a woman..
My wife has said I hope the kids grow up like me. Why would should say that if I am so bad ?
My wife knows she causes most of the hassle. Last night she was saying to me to find someone else . Someone better than her. .
I have lived this life for 14 years. I know what I am talking about. Maybe I am wallowing in self pity. You don't know how much I have relied on my wife . So what we have a love /hate relationship . But I have got a conscience. I know what is right and what is wrong. Lies in a relationship causes paranoia.
Even now . She is still adamant that she is ill.
I'm glad but not that the bust up happened . But I'm not . If you know what I mean. I have seen myself how I have been. And it has brought us closer together. We have never been together more or talked more .
Yes I'm scared in fact I am bloody frightened.
But it has brought us closer together.
I just put in a claim for esa. Next week hopefully . I'll be put down as her carer. If not then I have 4 weeks to pull myself together.
Yes we both want the same thing. To be together . She just needs time. I believe she has just complicated things more .with her own problems . And taking a rented house . With a 6 month wait before she can claim her bond back. .
I just need to be patient and see how things pan out. And hope I don't have a mental breakdown in the mean time.
Paranoia is a horrible thing to have. It effects everything.
Also . Why am I doing this. When u have a problem .we are told to write it down . This is what I'm doing. At least I am getting some feedback. And not staring at a piece of paper with words.

Georgiegirl256

crying_inside wrote: »

I just put in a claim for esa. Next week hopefully . I'll be put down as her carer.

Bullsh*t....what the F does she need a carer for?

crying_inside

trevorsminted wrote: »

Op if she has terminal cancer then why bother trying to reconcile? and why would you say she will be ok with child benefit rent for house that is terrible your wife is dying and must be going through hell knowing she will leave her kids motherless, surely you should be attempting to bond with her/young children for when the inevitable happens and ensuring the kids don't suffer to much when she finally passes from cancer.

And how noble you leaving 2 previous kids for her your children must be extremely proud of you!

To all who read this is a tragic story but all is not lost he has a Samsung phone to text to here for help/advice, all is not lost :eek:

Why are the words "some people need to get out and get a life springing to

PS... I like a tin of spam now and again !!!

The children are my children . I have a bond with my children. Why do you question . Of course this is the very reason I am staying and I'm fighting to keep my marriage alive. . Where are my kids going to go ?
It was not my intention to leave my kids back home. It just happened. Plans made at the time to move back home. Did not happen. . Just had to make the most of a bad situation.
The comment I made about rent ? I was probably answering another post. .and I'm certainly not happy. I want her home .

crying_inside

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Bullsh*t....what the F does she need a carer for?

Terminally ill people are entitled to a carer. Believe it or not. She my be still fit and able. But she . As she says . Has terminal cancer.