A friend staying at our place for 2 weeks

victory

amalis wrote: »

She was my BF, but I haven;t see her for 7 years and I never visited her place.

7 years is a huge amount of time not to have been spending time together in the same house together, was she ever like this before then?

gingin_2

Like Victory said, is it a cultural thing?

The British way is to be ultra polite about things in our British way but in other countries it's "your home is my home" and the understanding is that you're welcome to do the same when you visit them.

amalis

Rottensocks, thats a very good idea! I mgiht try that.

Its not about hte money, and not about the ice cream. If she would say she wants it, I would have said yes. Its more about being polite, but maybe I am simply not a hospitable person. I am confused.

We have been friends for as long as I can remember myself, but I moved to UK and havent sen her for 7 years. There is no chance that I will ever stay at her house because she is from my country of origin and I would stay at my own home if I go there.

amalis

victory wrote: »

7 years is a huge amount of time not to have been spending time together in the same house together, was she ever like this before then?

I dont remember her being like this.

amalis

balletshoes wrote: »

well now you know that with this particular friend, you need to not be shy, you need to lay down ground rules at the start of the visit.




is this a friend of yours? a friend of your OH? a friend of the family? Do you expect she'll be invited to stay for 2 weeks with you again?

she is my friend. My husband doesnt like her at all, he is tolerating her because of me. And yes, she is planning to come next year again.

victory

amalis wrote: »

Rottensocks, thats a very good idea! I mgiht try that.

Its not about hte money, and not about the ice cream. If she would say she wants it, I would have said yes. Its more about being polite, but maybe I am simply not a hospitable person. I am confused.

We have been friends for as long as I can remember myself, but I moved to UK and havent sen her for 7 years. There is no chance that I will ever stay at her house because she is from my country of origin and I would stay at my own home if I go there.

What is your country of origin?

amalis

victory wrote: »

What is your country of origin?

East Europe :-)

HeadAboveWater

I've went to stay with my friend in Glasgow loads of times. Sometimes one night, sometimes a long weekend. I know she'd always say 'make yourself at home' and 'help yourself if you're hungry', but I wouldn't even think about taking anything without asking first! That includes my toast for breakfast!!

Usually as a thank you I would take her out for dinner (tradition is now Frankie & Benny's ) Used to be just her. Now there's her, hubby and 2 kids! I was over there in April and it cost me over £70 for us all. But it's something I enjoy doing as they're looking after me the rest of the time. The least I can do is say thanks by giving them a night off cooking!!

marisco_2

Even when staying with family I would not help myself from their fridge or cupboards, or be expecting them to provide everything for me during my stay. Your friend is behaving without thinking and treating your home like her own. I'd suggest having a chat with her about this and be setting some ground rules.

balletshoes

amalis wrote: »

she is my friend. My husband doesnt like her at all, he is tolerating her because of me.
And yes, she is planning to come next year again.

It doesn't sound like you particularly want to extend her an invitation to stay, so just don't.