Affair, can't forget

marisco_2

waccoe wrote: »

She also says that I am the victim of domestic abuse and that she is a bully.

I am very glad to hear that the counselling sessions are helping you so much. You are sounding so much stronger in yourself.

It cannot have been easy to have been told the above. The realisation that you are suffering in an abusive relationship can be very hard to come to terms with. I have been there myself. I hope you are okay waccoe

Pixiechic

Hey Waccoe, it's good to hear back and that you are getting on so well with your counselling. You sound quite positive!

How are things with you and your wife?

waccoe_2

Hi guys, thanks for your replies.
Things between me and my wife are just the same, she still hasn't asked about the counselling sessions and still finding fault with me.
But I feel so much better that what is going on in my life is not so unusual. I am starting to feel so much more positive about things.
We have a weeks holiday abroad together booked in July if things don't start to change after that I am already making plans to leave the marital home.

marisco_2

waccoe wrote: »

We have a weeks holiday abroad together booked in July if things don't start to change after that I am already making plans to leave the marital home.

I don't underestimate what a huge step that would be for you to take. All through this thread you have made it clear that you would not wish to walk away lightly. That you are now able to see your situation so clearly, speaks volumes to me about how much you have benefited from your counselling.

waccoe_2

I really don't want to leave, I would really love to work things out but if I have to I will, for my own sanity.

Pixiechic

I'm really pleased for you, you sound more confident.

It's really good that you find it so easy to talk to your counsellor and that you are getting so much from it.

You sound positive about the future and doing what you need to, to be happy. You deserve to be happy

kelpie35

waccoe wrote: »

I really don't want to leave, I would really love to work things out but if I have to I will, for my own sanity.

Waccoe, well done on how you are handling your situation. You have shown so much respect and integrity. :T

I am so pleased that the councillor is empowering you. I know, and so do other posters, on your thread that you are a loving and unselfish husband and father.

YOU deserve to be happy and I hope you can continue to make progress. :A

SuzieSue

waccoe wrote: »

I really don't want to leave, I would really love to work things out but if I have to I will, for my own sanity.

The fact that you are even thinking about this is an enormous step. I am sure that an important reason for your wife's behaviour is that she is so certain that you would never leave her because you "love" her so much.

I hope that when she realises that there is a limit to the abuse that you will take then she will consider changing her behaviour, although after so many years it will be very difficult for her.

poet123

Pixiechic wrote: »

Poet123 - I think dktreesea was implying something.

This seems to have come from left field, can you elaborate?

poet123

waccoe wrote: »

I have been for my 3rd visit to the counsellor today and I am finding it so worthwhile. She seems to really understand my situation and I find her so easy to talk to her.
Obviously we have talked about all sorts of things but this is what she said today.
My wife and I have a parent/child relationship, she is the critical parent, always telling me off, I am the child always trying to please and when she tells me off, I sulk and walk away mumbling, spot on.
She also says that I am the victim of domestic abuse and that she is a bully.
I can't wait for the next visit, she is really helping me to see things so clearly.

I am glad she is helping, but I find her pronouncements somewhat unusual for a professional.